I do hope you are still occasionally checking back in with the blog. I hope its contents are a testimony to the work God, not Jennifer, is doing! The God I believe is good and faithful and his works run the course of history, before and after anyone is privileged to participate.
With that intro, must share! It's been touch and go all spring and summer...will Corine get to go to GBU's summer camp, which serves to train, equip, and encourage students from all over France to go back and be servants and lights for him in the midst of their campuses and GBU? Here's the drama in nutshell version.
Heard via email that Corine had talked to her mother and father. Mother said okay.
Talked with Natacha (for 2 hours!) and she said that Corine's mother and father had decided in the end, No.
Nari called Corine to convince her to some how go.
I emailed Corine encouraging her in the midst of this disappointment.
30something hours before camp departure, I receive a two sentence email from Corine--Will write more later, but I'm going to camp. Mother changed her mind and father is now ambivalent.
JUST received an email from Corine, returned from camp, ON FIRE! She was encouraged, ready to step into leadership with Compiegne GBU, and has lots of ideas for outreach.
Yay God!
Ladies and gentlemen, these are the prayers of SO many on this globe at work. I came across the title of a book, Following Jesus Without Dishonoring Your Parents. While I have yet to read this, for a good part of this year in France, this has been my discipleship question with Corine--how do I encourage her to wholeheartedly run after Jesus without dishonoring her parents? I am still learning what the answer in practice looks like to this question, but I know this...God is the best parent ever, working all things to his kids' good...and one of his daughters on one side of the Atlantic is praising him for his kindness to a daughter on the other.
In a word, I am "giddy."
More in the next entry on discipleship but this was a piece of the whole.
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ministry. Show all posts
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Re-entry 101
Timidly I clicked the sign in tab. I have not written in a bit, and so much has passed in relation to France since my return that I feel I have treated you unfairly by not inviting you into what has been a rather trying month of re-entry. I would like to tell you what will pour forth onto this screen from my fingers...but I truly have no idea. Let us begin, shall we?
Texas was my official re-entry point. And, while it was wonderful, memorable, and all the other superlatives I can imagine, Texas was not ideal. For what reasons?
One, everything is extremely spread out and you have to use your car to do anything. My soul rebels. I have been living in cities and compact spaces, such as Compiegne, for three years, and I have grown accustomed to the ease of life in such settings. Bike, foot, or bus, perhaps the occasional train, and you're there--at lunch with a student or friend, at the boulangerie, over at the church, down into Paris, at the university, working at L'Arche. It's just so easy. Dallas for one overwhelms and I nearly pass out maneuvering through the Jetson-like sky high tollways of Houston. Texas, you can have your massive concrete creations for the too big, too loud contraptions commonly referred to as "monster trucks" and their smaller companions called extended cab Ford F-150s. I'll take my elops B'twin bike any day.
Two, literally my first day back in Waco I stumbled across the city magazine Wacoan, which since I watched the editor honest to God intentionally not photograph my fellow black dance team members for their coverage of Waco High homecoming I have not been a fan. July 2008's cover sealed the deal. A nameless woman's arms spread open in what I translated to be worship asked me to read "Profiles, p. 20." I found on this page a lead-in to several ads of Christian merchandise, services, etc. I returned home, waving it vehemently in my mother's face yelling, "WHAT is wrong with THIS?!" Stunned, she looked on as her distraught daughter explained, "MARKETING! This is not Jesus, these are goods which can be exchanged, a culture created, and we feel Christian about it!" An article later in the magazine, a discussion between four Waco-area pastors, started off with the statistic that Waco houses over 250 religious establishments. (The article asked a great question--With all these institutions, is Waco a community of faith?) Waco and surrounding areas top out around 130,000-150,00 population depending on what developments you include. L'Oise Valley houses approximately 1 Protestant church per 60,000 inhabitants. We see quickly the gross disparities and points which might lead a recently returned French missionary into hysteria. I have been overwhelmed to say the least at the market-driven, brand-conscious nature of Christianity in the states and in Texas. And I am implicated and convicted by it, knowing that my habits of church selection are formed in great part by this reality. It has not been easy.
Third, I have had moments where I simply blank out and in the midst of whatever I'm doing simply forget, feel lost, or walk back and forth trying to accomplish anything, something. The best I was able to articulate this phenomenon is captured by the following: Generally I function fine and in fact well in physical or relational chaos. I tend to see potential in chaos and ways to organize it, solve it, fix it. However, upon re-entry, I experienced a new one--mental and emotional chaos further complicated by physical chaos and relational loss. While I ran hard and busy during the three weeks of the Texas tour seeing supporters, loving on family, traveling the roads, packing and repacking, I felt at all times teetering over some unseen edge. I am still waiting in a sense for the major breakdown of tears and emotions. We shall see when and if it arrives.
I believe the hardest point of removal from France has been this: While I had "tasks" at hand each day, so much of my life there was about entering into the lives and stories of others and journeying together toward God. Lives and stories are not easily replicated, because they are bound to particulars, moments, heartbeats, and laughs...and even tears. None of us have the privilege to return to moments which were, and lives go on. They have and they will. And that is a hard reality. My particular philosophy of ministry per se has become this: That we are granted moments in which our life intersects with an other's. And it is in this intersection that we are privileged to ask together our questions of it, in the great hope of finding God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit working in our midst. May God grant me the grace and peace to continue this at a distance. May I be as well a pliant spirit in a place which has come to resemble not home to me, but some far away land in which all the people wear crosses, the billboards tell me to repent in the name of Jesus, and the God I read of in Isaiah seems a far cry away from the God we have placed on the puppet stick.
Texas was my official re-entry point. And, while it was wonderful, memorable, and all the other superlatives I can imagine, Texas was not ideal. For what reasons?
One, everything is extremely spread out and you have to use your car to do anything. My soul rebels. I have been living in cities and compact spaces, such as Compiegne, for three years, and I have grown accustomed to the ease of life in such settings. Bike, foot, or bus, perhaps the occasional train, and you're there--at lunch with a student or friend, at the boulangerie, over at the church, down into Paris, at the university, working at L'Arche. It's just so easy. Dallas for one overwhelms and I nearly pass out maneuvering through the Jetson-like sky high tollways of Houston. Texas, you can have your massive concrete creations for the too big, too loud contraptions commonly referred to as "monster trucks" and their smaller companions called extended cab Ford F-150s. I'll take my elops B'twin bike any day.
Two, literally my first day back in Waco I stumbled across the city magazine Wacoan, which since I watched the editor honest to God intentionally not photograph my fellow black dance team members for their coverage of Waco High homecoming I have not been a fan. July 2008's cover sealed the deal. A nameless woman's arms spread open in what I translated to be worship asked me to read "Profiles, p. 20." I found on this page a lead-in to several ads of Christian merchandise, services, etc. I returned home, waving it vehemently in my mother's face yelling, "WHAT is wrong with THIS?!" Stunned, she looked on as her distraught daughter explained, "MARKETING! This is not Jesus, these are goods which can be exchanged, a culture created, and we feel Christian about it!" An article later in the magazine, a discussion between four Waco-area pastors, started off with the statistic that Waco houses over 250 religious establishments. (The article asked a great question--With all these institutions, is Waco a community of faith?) Waco and surrounding areas top out around 130,000-150,00 population depending on what developments you include. L'Oise Valley houses approximately 1 Protestant church per 60,000 inhabitants. We see quickly the gross disparities and points which might lead a recently returned French missionary into hysteria. I have been overwhelmed to say the least at the market-driven, brand-conscious nature of Christianity in the states and in Texas. And I am implicated and convicted by it, knowing that my habits of church selection are formed in great part by this reality. It has not been easy.
Third, I have had moments where I simply blank out and in the midst of whatever I'm doing simply forget, feel lost, or walk back and forth trying to accomplish anything, something. The best I was able to articulate this phenomenon is captured by the following: Generally I function fine and in fact well in physical or relational chaos. I tend to see potential in chaos and ways to organize it, solve it, fix it. However, upon re-entry, I experienced a new one--mental and emotional chaos further complicated by physical chaos and relational loss. While I ran hard and busy during the three weeks of the Texas tour seeing supporters, loving on family, traveling the roads, packing and repacking, I felt at all times teetering over some unseen edge. I am still waiting in a sense for the major breakdown of tears and emotions. We shall see when and if it arrives.
I believe the hardest point of removal from France has been this: While I had "tasks" at hand each day, so much of my life there was about entering into the lives and stories of others and journeying together toward God. Lives and stories are not easily replicated, because they are bound to particulars, moments, heartbeats, and laughs...and even tears. None of us have the privilege to return to moments which were, and lives go on. They have and they will. And that is a hard reality. My particular philosophy of ministry per se has become this: That we are granted moments in which our life intersects with an other's. And it is in this intersection that we are privileged to ask together our questions of it, in the great hope of finding God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit working in our midst. May God grant me the grace and peace to continue this at a distance. May I be as well a pliant spirit in a place which has come to resemble not home to me, but some far away land in which all the people wear crosses, the billboards tell me to repent in the name of Jesus, and the God I read of in Isaiah seems a far cry away from the God we have placed on the puppet stick.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Final Night in Compiegne
I shouldn't have worn mascara today for two reasons. One, it rained ALL day between tiny glorious bouts of golden sun and I was on my bike for a majority of it. My feet are still wet. Two, I cried a lot very randomly but not really until after 7pm.
One of my friends tells me I am very dramatic and perhaps this evening showcases this. After dinner at the L'Arche foyer (house) L'Isba along with Natacha who I invited, I biked over to my church gardens for a silent moment and tears I wasn't expecting. Next, I met Xue out front and gave her a Watchman Nee guide to the Christian life, prayed for her, and left her with an image of God's love for her that I pray he works into her heart. Lastly I returned my bike to my neighbor Vincent, but not before taking 20 or so minutes just to ride around. As I turned up a street to head toward the apartments, I about lost it crying so circled back around and just putzed down the street until I could get my act together. I left him with bike lock keys and a copy of the book of John, a further aid in responding to a great question he posed last week at lunch--"If someone says they are 'croyant' [believing] what does that mean? What distinguishes them from others?" Hello open door. So I shared about Jesus, the chasm between the messed up inhabitants of this world and God, the grace, love, and joy and selflessness that should be present at the heart of every disciple of Jesus' actions. I thought John would be a great follow up, as Vincent is working on a book and seems to be a reader. He was touched by the gesture and asked if I signed it. "Yes," I said. "Bon, a souvenir of Jennifer." :)
Then I left him and turned down the street I take everyday on my way to Le Moulin or Madame Bataille's and again felt helplessly tearful as I walked toward Valerie's, where I've stayed on and off since moving out of my place. I told Jesus I needed him to do this because I am not up for it--my last night in Compiegne. I just stood at one point on the sidewalk crying, willing myself to go toward the door out of which I will exit tomorrow to leave this beloved place and people.
It's very difficult to imagine that in 24-48 hours time I will be in Texas, and that I won't be coming back here for a bit. Whoops, shouldn't have written that down. Started tears...
Today has felt surreal quite often and I find myself glancing over my shoulder constantly to remember. Hugging Natacha goodbye was difficult and we just stood there for a moment looking out over the street, neither willing to part.
I still occasionally think, I could stay. Maybe I just won't take the flight after all. I know in the end I am called to be faithful elsewhere in the season to come. But I keep saying aloud, "Mais je n'ai pas envie." [I don't want to.]
So I will see some of you tomorrow, others this week, a lot on Sunday, some in the weeks and two months to come. And forgive me if at times I might look lost or confused, teary-eyed and off somewhere else. I will try hard to be present to the moment...but perhaps the souvenirs of other moments will also be pressing on me, calling me into prayer, listening to God's voice, and recalling a people and persons that I inexplicably love.
One of my friends tells me I am very dramatic and perhaps this evening showcases this. After dinner at the L'Arche foyer (house) L'Isba along with Natacha who I invited, I biked over to my church gardens for a silent moment and tears I wasn't expecting. Next, I met Xue out front and gave her a Watchman Nee guide to the Christian life, prayed for her, and left her with an image of God's love for her that I pray he works into her heart. Lastly I returned my bike to my neighbor Vincent, but not before taking 20 or so minutes just to ride around. As I turned up a street to head toward the apartments, I about lost it crying so circled back around and just putzed down the street until I could get my act together. I left him with bike lock keys and a copy of the book of John, a further aid in responding to a great question he posed last week at lunch--"If someone says they are 'croyant' [believing] what does that mean? What distinguishes them from others?" Hello open door. So I shared about Jesus, the chasm between the messed up inhabitants of this world and God, the grace, love, and joy and selflessness that should be present at the heart of every disciple of Jesus' actions. I thought John would be a great follow up, as Vincent is working on a book and seems to be a reader. He was touched by the gesture and asked if I signed it. "Yes," I said. "Bon, a souvenir of Jennifer." :)
Then I left him and turned down the street I take everyday on my way to Le Moulin or Madame Bataille's and again felt helplessly tearful as I walked toward Valerie's, where I've stayed on and off since moving out of my place. I told Jesus I needed him to do this because I am not up for it--my last night in Compiegne. I just stood at one point on the sidewalk crying, willing myself to go toward the door out of which I will exit tomorrow to leave this beloved place and people.
It's very difficult to imagine that in 24-48 hours time I will be in Texas, and that I won't be coming back here for a bit. Whoops, shouldn't have written that down. Started tears...
Today has felt surreal quite often and I find myself glancing over my shoulder constantly to remember. Hugging Natacha goodbye was difficult and we just stood there for a moment looking out over the street, neither willing to part.
I still occasionally think, I could stay. Maybe I just won't take the flight after all. I know in the end I am called to be faithful elsewhere in the season to come. But I keep saying aloud, "Mais je n'ai pas envie." [I don't want to.]
So I will see some of you tomorrow, others this week, a lot on Sunday, some in the weeks and two months to come. And forgive me if at times I might look lost or confused, teary-eyed and off somewhere else. I will try hard to be present to the moment...but perhaps the souvenirs of other moments will also be pressing on me, calling me into prayer, listening to God's voice, and recalling a people and persons that I inexplicably love.
Ministry Wrap-ups
Group Biblique Universitaire—Count it a Privilege
As opposed to other areas of ministry and life here, I hope and think I’ve provided a good glimpse into GBU. But for a final wrap, here’s a go at it:
The Students: GBU met weekly throughout the school year, never gaining official club status at UTC but nonetheless able to use a room every week for our Bible studies. Throughout the semester, students participated in weekly studies, received Bible study facilitation training, traveled to regional and national events, and gathered for various non-official events in Compiegne. We saw our numbers grow from roughly 7-10 to approximately 18-20 every study!!! That’s big folks! We also saw increased participation from a variety of Christian and other expressions of faith, namely Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim students. This is indeed a huge praise! All of these students as well as the core group leaders were present for the end of year picnic, which of all the other end of year student bashes taking place, was quite impressive to have their presence well-accounted for.
GBU next year will undergo some transitions. Namely, Armel will be moving into a regional leadership role (hooray!) and less responsible on the whole for Compiegne. Nari as well will be moving to Laos for her final internship then out into the working world, for which we praise God but see as well an administrative and energy vacuum being created. These two have been faithful however to pass the baton to four students—Clement, Sylvain, Natacha, and Corine with a strong participating core at their back. Armel, Natacha, and Corine will all be headed to GBU camp in August, the same place I began my time here, for further training and equipping for the year ahead.
Prayers and Praises:
Praises all around for the formation of this group and for the depth and sincerity in the heart of students. They are on the whole an impressive, engaged, and thoughtful group and we can continue to pray God’s covering over their presence on UTC campus.
Pray for continued shared responsibility among students and increased fervor, not just in the organization but in their faith.
Pray for those in our midst who are searching, asking first questions of their systems of belief, or are simply curious. Pray for a solid and loving testimony.
My Role: I have not facilitated Bible studies this year but have served as encouragement and support for various GBU and outside initiatives. It has been my great delight to serve alongside these students, speak when asked, and at all times, seeking how God would have me serve them. Whether it was through community building, worldview education, one-on-one discipleship, prayer, or being a resource of questions and connections, it has been my utmost privilege to encounter these precious lives.
(I will follow up with a specific women’s discipleship post at some point.)
Les Jeunes Adultes D’Oise—Learning as You Go
This ministry has had its ups and downs for me personally and as a team member, mainly ups until the very end. Throughout the year since the end of November and the Hemmerle’s relocation to the states, I have worked with two French people Francois and Joel to serve as JAO leadership transition. We continued as Dave begun, assembling young adults from the region in January, March, and June for teaching, worship, and prayer. As a team we met 6 weeks in advance to plan and divvy up responsibilities, and it is only in hindsight that I can say we should have assigned each person the same tasks for each gathering according to gifting. As a team we were determining those gifts as we went in our context and by the end, it was apparent that Francois and I shared teaching and administration while Joel offered his sensitive people skills and prayerful heart.
After a meeting with Francois last week, the future of JAO is in question. From the beginning Joel said he could not carry it on his own, and as Francois became a newly-wed in May, his attentions are admittedly needing to shift elsewhere for the coming year. I will be leaving, as you know, July 8th so can no longer offer my role. That said, Francois will be contacting Dave for wisdom on how to move forward or curtail the effort.
In some ways, this is a “ministry disappointment” if you can call it that. “Learning situation” perhaps is less harsh. Understandably Francois cannot carry the leadership baton alone, and is better acquainted with who would be a fit to replace me on the team. Joel is a kind man who is ready and willing, but recognizes his limits in terms of leadership and so does require a team.
From this, I have the following request for you. As a participant in a local French church and being involved with both students and young adults here, I ask you to pray for specific church-connected young adult ministries to be birthed here. The Oise is much more oriented toward families and senior citizens than young adults compared to, say, Paris. However, the need exists for good teaching, spiritual direction, discipleship, and overall Christian faith development for this segment of the population, as Dave and Virginia readily saw and responded to with JAO. For next steps depending on the direction Francois’s conversation with Dave goes, I pray for leaders to rise up in churches that can help respond as well to this need. Pray for specific church young adult ministry.
Le Moulin—A Lesson in Courage
From day one at Le Moulin, an adult workshop for handicapped residents of the Compiegne area, I have been asking, what am I supposed to do here? What am I to learn? How am I to serve? It came daily, in being assigned to various activities, at first always accompanied and then taking groups all my own. Then it came through community events, where I began learning and seeing the larger role of L’Arche in Compiegne, as a Christian witness to love and belonging. I felt so many times at L’Arche incapable of providing thorough and professional service, as I have no training in anything remotely connected to L’Arche community needs except what falls under the broad label of “Christian ministry.” With time, however, I began to see that while training helps, it is more often knowing a person than a technique that creates a situation into which I might enter and serve.
But another reality arose from my time at Le Moulin. I began to be braver, both there and in France. I sang more out loud, and invited others to join with me. I acted goofy and made jokes and took great pleasure when our kitchen group was rendered incapable of work due to our volumes of laughter. I confidently filled in for Martine during women’s gym class, always spicing it up a little bit with African drums and some cha-cha. And in other areas of ministry, while never being the fully bold American Jennifer I am, I nonetheless stopped being so careful and became me again. In a country that collectively stares if you do anything outside of the box, which I am prone to do, it can be hard and frustrating to not take chances.
As my departure from Le Moulin was announced, I took a moment to share a few words. And this is roughly a part of what I said—You have taught me the lesson of courage, found in the text of Joshua. “Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will go with you wherever you go.” In a land of the terrified and timid, L’Arche stands as a hopeful witness to courage that only God can give as we choose to not live in fear. More often than not, I have said, I needed Le Moulin more than they needed me. And while I was able to serve there, it was them who reminded me that the testimony of God’s love through Jesus can never be dimmed when we are living in the fullness of the his embrace.
As opposed to other areas of ministry and life here, I hope and think I’ve provided a good glimpse into GBU. But for a final wrap, here’s a go at it:
The Students: GBU met weekly throughout the school year, never gaining official club status at UTC but nonetheless able to use a room every week for our Bible studies. Throughout the semester, students participated in weekly studies, received Bible study facilitation training, traveled to regional and national events, and gathered for various non-official events in Compiegne. We saw our numbers grow from roughly 7-10 to approximately 18-20 every study!!! That’s big folks! We also saw increased participation from a variety of Christian and other expressions of faith, namely Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim students. This is indeed a huge praise! All of these students as well as the core group leaders were present for the end of year picnic, which of all the other end of year student bashes taking place, was quite impressive to have their presence well-accounted for.
GBU next year will undergo some transitions. Namely, Armel will be moving into a regional leadership role (hooray!) and less responsible on the whole for Compiegne. Nari as well will be moving to Laos for her final internship then out into the working world, for which we praise God but see as well an administrative and energy vacuum being created. These two have been faithful however to pass the baton to four students—Clement, Sylvain, Natacha, and Corine with a strong participating core at their back. Armel, Natacha, and Corine will all be headed to GBU camp in August, the same place I began my time here, for further training and equipping for the year ahead.
Prayers and Praises:
Praises all around for the formation of this group and for the depth and sincerity in the heart of students. They are on the whole an impressive, engaged, and thoughtful group and we can continue to pray God’s covering over their presence on UTC campus.
Pray for continued shared responsibility among students and increased fervor, not just in the organization but in their faith.
Pray for those in our midst who are searching, asking first questions of their systems of belief, or are simply curious. Pray for a solid and loving testimony.
My Role: I have not facilitated Bible studies this year but have served as encouragement and support for various GBU and outside initiatives. It has been my great delight to serve alongside these students, speak when asked, and at all times, seeking how God would have me serve them. Whether it was through community building, worldview education, one-on-one discipleship, prayer, or being a resource of questions and connections, it has been my utmost privilege to encounter these precious lives.
(I will follow up with a specific women’s discipleship post at some point.)
Les Jeunes Adultes D’Oise—Learning as You Go
This ministry has had its ups and downs for me personally and as a team member, mainly ups until the very end. Throughout the year since the end of November and the Hemmerle’s relocation to the states, I have worked with two French people Francois and Joel to serve as JAO leadership transition. We continued as Dave begun, assembling young adults from the region in January, March, and June for teaching, worship, and prayer. As a team we met 6 weeks in advance to plan and divvy up responsibilities, and it is only in hindsight that I can say we should have assigned each person the same tasks for each gathering according to gifting. As a team we were determining those gifts as we went in our context and by the end, it was apparent that Francois and I shared teaching and administration while Joel offered his sensitive people skills and prayerful heart.
After a meeting with Francois last week, the future of JAO is in question. From the beginning Joel said he could not carry it on his own, and as Francois became a newly-wed in May, his attentions are admittedly needing to shift elsewhere for the coming year. I will be leaving, as you know, July 8th so can no longer offer my role. That said, Francois will be contacting Dave for wisdom on how to move forward or curtail the effort.
In some ways, this is a “ministry disappointment” if you can call it that. “Learning situation” perhaps is less harsh. Understandably Francois cannot carry the leadership baton alone, and is better acquainted with who would be a fit to replace me on the team. Joel is a kind man who is ready and willing, but recognizes his limits in terms of leadership and so does require a team.
From this, I have the following request for you. As a participant in a local French church and being involved with both students and young adults here, I ask you to pray for specific church-connected young adult ministries to be birthed here. The Oise is much more oriented toward families and senior citizens than young adults compared to, say, Paris. However, the need exists for good teaching, spiritual direction, discipleship, and overall Christian faith development for this segment of the population, as Dave and Virginia readily saw and responded to with JAO. For next steps depending on the direction Francois’s conversation with Dave goes, I pray for leaders to rise up in churches that can help respond as well to this need. Pray for specific church young adult ministry.
Le Moulin—A Lesson in Courage
From day one at Le Moulin, an adult workshop for handicapped residents of the Compiegne area, I have been asking, what am I supposed to do here? What am I to learn? How am I to serve? It came daily, in being assigned to various activities, at first always accompanied and then taking groups all my own. Then it came through community events, where I began learning and seeing the larger role of L’Arche in Compiegne, as a Christian witness to love and belonging. I felt so many times at L’Arche incapable of providing thorough and professional service, as I have no training in anything remotely connected to L’Arche community needs except what falls under the broad label of “Christian ministry.” With time, however, I began to see that while training helps, it is more often knowing a person than a technique that creates a situation into which I might enter and serve.
But another reality arose from my time at Le Moulin. I began to be braver, both there and in France. I sang more out loud, and invited others to join with me. I acted goofy and made jokes and took great pleasure when our kitchen group was rendered incapable of work due to our volumes of laughter. I confidently filled in for Martine during women’s gym class, always spicing it up a little bit with African drums and some cha-cha. And in other areas of ministry, while never being the fully bold American Jennifer I am, I nonetheless stopped being so careful and became me again. In a country that collectively stares if you do anything outside of the box, which I am prone to do, it can be hard and frustrating to not take chances.
As my departure from Le Moulin was announced, I took a moment to share a few words. And this is roughly a part of what I said—You have taught me the lesson of courage, found in the text of Joshua. “Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will go with you wherever you go.” In a land of the terrified and timid, L’Arche stands as a hopeful witness to courage that only God can give as we choose to not live in fear. More often than not, I have said, I needed Le Moulin more than they needed me. And while I was able to serve there, it was them who reminded me that the testimony of God’s love through Jesus can never be dimmed when we are living in the fullness of the his embrace.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Horizons Evangeliques
Interested in reading more about the pulse of Christianity in France? Want to grow in your French comprehension? Looking for a current resource for students, your personal library, or research?
May I introduce you to Horizons Evangeliques, France's new Christian magazine which promises to be an excellent theological, practical, and intellectual engagement between faith and the French, and hopefully you!
Visit the website for subscription information.
Personal note: The pastor of the Compiegne church is part of the writing/editing team!
May I introduce you to Horizons Evangeliques, France's new Christian magazine which promises to be an excellent theological, practical, and intellectual engagement between faith and the French, and hopefully you!
Visit the website for subscription information.
Personal note: The pastor of the Compiegne church is part of the writing/editing team!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
It is Time
Final GBU Bible Study at UTC
The ladies (sans Natacha)
I finally looked at the calendar today and promptly fell into a panic attack. I've been putting if off for a while now, counting specifics days and weeks and all, and was only made aware of it being a month away from my July departure on June 8th when someone told me. That was not a happy moment, and I can't remember who you are but you shouldn't have done that. Oddly, I am not weepy but stalwart, resolute in pressing forward with my various calls which brought me here until the very end. It's what one has to do, or at least I have to do, to not do the following...
I'm canceling my ticket home. I have mulled it over for multiple evening conversations with myself and honestly, it's not that I don't trust God to be faithful to continue his work here without me. But it feels, I think, quite selfish to leave. Christian Americans who read this blog (and any others of course), I would like to say this to you (and myself as well)--you've got it good. In fact, easy. Pick a corner of a town and you've got a church before you. I recently read an excellent book which records the following: "For a religious marketplace to exist, a society cannot have state-established, supported, and regulated churches." The authors follow with this a few paragraphs down: "...when religion becomes disestablished, it opens the doors for creative religious entrepreneurs to market their alternative faiths to religious consumers. The general public, likewise, is freed--at least in ideal--to choose among options. Disestablishment in the context of a new, pluralistic nation [America] led to a religious marketplace."* I will be the first to admit I am guilty of this on many levels and deciding on where to attend church is a very serious question for me. But, welcome to America. On the other side of the Atlantic, however, welcome to France, where there is no marketplace but rather a population cynical of church due to a sordid Church-State past (among other reasons) and maybe oh, 4-5 Protestant churches within my town or an hour+ beyond. My wrestlings with selfishness become clear. I also leave behind this--
Yesterday Corine and I plopped down on the grass next to the Oise River. We began to talk and she shared what she was learning from her quiet times, how it's "bizarre" that the particular questions she is asking every day continue to be met with response in her Scripture reading and meditations, encouraged by a Lecteur de la Bible her grandmother sent her from Cameroun! She began unfolding to me the story of Job and this was not my time to ask questions but to simply listen. To have this young, sincere, tender woman of Jesus teach me from her heart what God has been teaching her through Scripture of himself.
Earlier in the day, during lunch with Natacha, Corine, and Marie-Pierre, Natacha delivered as promised the teaching and worship of Passion: Paris. With great gusto and laughter, for which she is now in my mind famous, she covered all the points taught and again, this was not my time to talk. It was my time to listen and encounter this dear, fervent young woman teach her sisters of how God would use them.
So you see. I am leaving a lot. And it is selfish. But maybe you also see that it is time. A year is too short, and I struggle with a bit of jealousy reading of a brother leaving an Asian country after 3 years. Three years, I thought, what a dream! Time to really sink into a place, a people, to know the rhythms of the lives of those we love far deeper than I can within a year. This week, however, the same moments that made me want to cancel my ticket also told me, You can go. You can go.
In peace, then, I will go. And leave in the hands of my most capable God the lives, the hearts, the unfolding stories of those whom he said before time, I have knit them into your skin Jennifer to love but I have knit them into my hand to keep always.
In love, I came. In peace, I go. And for this I am a most grateful woman.
*Divided by Faith:Evangelical Religion and the Problem of Race in America; Michael O. Emerson and Christian Smith
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
GBU Update--Whoo-hoo!!!
Tonight GBU students gather for the last Bible study of the year. We are beginning the great spring wind down, followed next week with a night of worship and prayer and the week after with a big end of year, invite your friends party. God has been good this year, has made us numerous, has equipped students, and has begun galvanizing an identity for them together.
Praise be to God as well for the following. Natacha has decided, after the Passion worship conference, that she wants to go the GBU camp, the very same one I started out at last August. Over sandwiches on the yard today with her, Corine, and Marie-Pierre, Corine softly interjected as I told Natacha I would get her all the sign-up information, "Me too, I want to go." Hooray!!!!! Pray that the two of them will definitely sign up and go and that we can figure out some help financing their participation. (If you're interested, don't hesitate to contact me.)
This all is indeed good news. Pray that as I work with Nari and Armel to call out leaders for next year they would come together and continue the vision and work of GBU at Compiegne.
Please pray for us. This can't be done without the prayers of the people!!!
Praise be to God as well for the following. Natacha has decided, after the Passion worship conference, that she wants to go the GBU camp, the very same one I started out at last August. Over sandwiches on the yard today with her, Corine, and Marie-Pierre, Corine softly interjected as I told Natacha I would get her all the sign-up information, "Me too, I want to go." Hooray!!!!! Pray that the two of them will definitely sign up and go and that we can figure out some help financing their participation. (If you're interested, don't hesitate to contact me.)
This all is indeed good news. Pray that as I work with Nari and Armel to call out leaders for next year they would come together and continue the vision and work of GBU at Compiegne.
Please pray for us. This can't be done without the prayers of the people!!!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
And the Wall Came Tumbling Down
This morning after church Nari and I were walking to join Natacha for sandwiches down by the river. Natacha was in charge of an information display for Mozaik at an all-city garage sale wherein students were invited to participate. To the point, on the way Nari and I passed by an entry to a cyber cafe next to UTC that I pass all the time. Today, however, I heard loud “hallelujahs” and worship echoing out into the street from within. Nari kept walking, on the phone with Natacha and not having heard the praises. “Nari!” I called, “listen.” She came running back and then we just turned to one another, quickly forgetting our sandwiches and waiting Natacha, “Tu veux voir?” [do you want to see] A simultaneous, “Yes.”
It was a gathering of no more than 10-15 adults and children in what would be labeled a small ethnic church. A handful of the women were dressed in traditional African wear, which we later found out was more specifically Congolese. We were welcomed in and took our places at the plastic porch chairs, standing and praising. As the pastor powerfully began speak of the Father God, in whom we have victory, and by whom the disobedient devil was banished from heaven, and because of whom we have hope and joy because of the death and LIFE of Jesus Christ, I began to cry then weep. The pastor was loud and powerful, then at other moments tender and inviting, and I realized. I realized I have forgotten what a powerful God we serve. I wept profusely as Nari laid her hand on my back then I, mine on hers, and I saw Xue. I saw the walls of Jericho. I saw crumbling unbelief. And I saw a God who is capable. Who is powerful. Who has the victory and it is my great sin to not believe and follow obediently in the great conviction that he is tearing down walls. As worship continued, we were invited to take the hand of our neighbor or place our hand on the person in front of us, something I haven’t done in church since I left America. A member of the church prayed and again, more profuse weeping as I heard so much of God’s joy and love in his prayer to a God who is glorious, worthy, powerful. Forgive me, for I have sinned and forgotten.
I love church. And even though I’ve gone through rough spells, I always have and will need church in a way I can’t explain. Today I was reminded of the place wherein God has established the Church in the living out of Christian faith, of identifying with a people and learning of a God corporately. Church affects ministry. In its timidity, church teaches us as well timidity. In its carefulness, it teaches us to be careful. In its boldness, it teaches us proclamation. In its teaching emphases, be it stoic intellectual recitations, inspired and informed textual exegesis, proclamations of Gospel through spoken and sung word, it teaches something about the person of God beyond what is simply stated. Through the implicit curriculum of form and function and method of Sunday mornings, or Saturday nights or Friday evenings or whatever, we as members of a church and ministers of the Gospel are equipped, or ill-equipped, to know how to go about our weeks of living with others in his name.
While my job here is to support and not criticize, this morning I realized the French church has as many walls up to a powerful and liberating God as the culture. God is moving in the church, there is no doubt. Nonetheless, values and identities such as homogeneity in form, fear, safety, carefulness, not thinking outside the box, are just as much at work in churches here as they are in the culture. And both church and culture are bound here in a way that saddens and teaches me how to direct my prayers and encouragements. I am not basing this realization off of one morning’s experience in an ethnic church, for there are other instances, and one this week at Passion has led me to see God’s hand in placing these pieces of comprehension before me. Knowing Americans as I do, knowing the energy-expectations of Passion as I do, I realized this by reading the body language and encouragements of the Passion stage—France was and is a tough crowd, even the passionate Christians. Because of so many national wounds, they have learned to play it safe. And sadly, I think, this life becomes best lived with a safe God.
This morning, as Nari and I walked out of this small little church gathering, jaws to the ground with how awesome God’s presence was there, I told her, “I forgot that we serve a powerful God who can tear down walls.” And in further reflection I am reminded of the oft-quoted because it’s SO true line of C.S. Lewis in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe concerning Aslan, the lion who symbolizes in this series Jesus. “Safe? Of course [Aslan] isn’t safe. But he’s good.” I serve a good God, who is not safe, who is not timid, who demands that I shout and pray that walls come down.
Note: It is a known fact amongst French national Christians, mission workers, and ethnic Christians (in France this normally means of African origin) that ethnic churches may at times not always have the clearest theologies, namely that there can be incorporated into their beliefs and practices remnants of spiritism and animism. Another visit will help me in discerning, but this morning I heard three in one preached--Father, Son, and Spirit--and did not hear nor discern worship, praise, or pastoral direction that would place me ill-at-ease. Several points in fact confirmed a sincerity and Spirit-led gathering.
It was a gathering of no more than 10-15 adults and children in what would be labeled a small ethnic church. A handful of the women were dressed in traditional African wear, which we later found out was more specifically Congolese. We were welcomed in and took our places at the plastic porch chairs, standing and praising. As the pastor powerfully began speak of the Father God, in whom we have victory, and by whom the disobedient devil was banished from heaven, and because of whom we have hope and joy because of the death and LIFE of Jesus Christ, I began to cry then weep. The pastor was loud and powerful, then at other moments tender and inviting, and I realized. I realized I have forgotten what a powerful God we serve. I wept profusely as Nari laid her hand on my back then I, mine on hers, and I saw Xue. I saw the walls of Jericho. I saw crumbling unbelief. And I saw a God who is capable. Who is powerful. Who has the victory and it is my great sin to not believe and follow obediently in the great conviction that he is tearing down walls. As worship continued, we were invited to take the hand of our neighbor or place our hand on the person in front of us, something I haven’t done in church since I left America. A member of the church prayed and again, more profuse weeping as I heard so much of God’s joy and love in his prayer to a God who is glorious, worthy, powerful. Forgive me, for I have sinned and forgotten.
I love church. And even though I’ve gone through rough spells, I always have and will need church in a way I can’t explain. Today I was reminded of the place wherein God has established the Church in the living out of Christian faith, of identifying with a people and learning of a God corporately. Church affects ministry. In its timidity, church teaches us as well timidity. In its carefulness, it teaches us to be careful. In its boldness, it teaches us proclamation. In its teaching emphases, be it stoic intellectual recitations, inspired and informed textual exegesis, proclamations of Gospel through spoken and sung word, it teaches something about the person of God beyond what is simply stated. Through the implicit curriculum of form and function and method of Sunday mornings, or Saturday nights or Friday evenings or whatever, we as members of a church and ministers of the Gospel are equipped, or ill-equipped, to know how to go about our weeks of living with others in his name.
While my job here is to support and not criticize, this morning I realized the French church has as many walls up to a powerful and liberating God as the culture. God is moving in the church, there is no doubt. Nonetheless, values and identities such as homogeneity in form, fear, safety, carefulness, not thinking outside the box, are just as much at work in churches here as they are in the culture. And both church and culture are bound here in a way that saddens and teaches me how to direct my prayers and encouragements. I am not basing this realization off of one morning’s experience in an ethnic church, for there are other instances, and one this week at Passion has led me to see God’s hand in placing these pieces of comprehension before me. Knowing Americans as I do, knowing the energy-expectations of Passion as I do, I realized this by reading the body language and encouragements of the Passion stage—France was and is a tough crowd, even the passionate Christians. Because of so many national wounds, they have learned to play it safe. And sadly, I think, this life becomes best lived with a safe God.
This morning, as Nari and I walked out of this small little church gathering, jaws to the ground with how awesome God’s presence was there, I told her, “I forgot that we serve a powerful God who can tear down walls.” And in further reflection I am reminded of the oft-quoted because it’s SO true line of C.S. Lewis in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe concerning Aslan, the lion who symbolizes in this series Jesus. “Safe? Of course [Aslan] isn’t safe. But he’s good.” I serve a good God, who is not safe, who is not timid, who demands that I shout and pray that walls come down.
Note: It is a known fact amongst French national Christians, mission workers, and ethnic Christians (in France this normally means of African origin) that ethnic churches may at times not always have the clearest theologies, namely that there can be incorporated into their beliefs and practices remnants of spiritism and animism. Another visit will help me in discerning, but this morning I heard three in one preached--Father, Son, and Spirit--and did not hear nor discern worship, praise, or pastoral direction that would place me ill-at-ease. Several points in fact confirmed a sincerity and Spirit-led gathering.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Foyer Evangelique Universitaire
This morning Joy and I headed north to Lille, France, to visit a university ministry called Foyer Evangelique Protestante, or FEU which means “fire” in French. I am now familiar with GBU and through the states and some contacts here aware of Agape, European Campus Crusade. (try inviting a Muslim to a “Crusade” event : /) FEU was the latest on the list of ministries to check out. To say Joy and I were excited and overwhelmed by our time there would be an understatement. Two young couples with three kids between them welcomed us into their home for a morning discussion of their vision and ministry. Next we were invited to stay for a home-cooked lunch, to which a college student ran down from upstairs to join. Another student ran in from her morning on campus to eat up dessert and play with the kids. One of young wives toured me and Joy around Lille for the afternoon, during which we spent most of the time talking while walking, and not necessarily touring. Great fun! En bref, here is what I would like to share.
Vision
FEU exists to serve the Church, encouraging students who know Jesus and those who come to know him to plug into their local churches. While they offer a regular weekly line-up of events as well, they carefully work to balance and not overlap nor overextend students between their programming and the churches’. In Lille, they work with 4-7 partner churches to connect students with congregations, needs, and church life. FEU sees their role as a part of the Church to build the Church and seeks to cultivate in students habits which will carry them beyond university parachurch activities after receiving their diplomas.
What it Looks Like
FEU’s exist in Grenoble, Lille, Marseille, and Chambery, and take on a variety of forms. Most are facilitated either out of someone’s home, which is bought with the space and intent to rent rooms to students engaged with FEU such as in Lille, or a larger building such as in Grenoble. As we experienced today, in a house or building welcoming students, the front door is always open and someone is always in the home. On Thursdays the team meets together and stays together for a good part of the day, thus contributing to the community sense of the ministry. FEU is a part of France pour Christ’s mission and is a relatively new ministry as far as mission history goes. It is also a France-born ministry.
Weekly Ministries
FEU Lille’s weekly ministries begin on Sunday, transporting students to church in a large vehicle. For the afternoon, they gather students for football (soccer), which provides an excellent opportunity to connect with students outside of FEU. Sunday evenings they often organize a culture-themed party replete with food, music, maybe dancing, and hanging out. Mondays are prayer. Tuesdays are prayer and days on campus engaging in evangelization by giving 12-question Bible knowledge tests to passing students. This year they have been able to connect with 600-900 students through these questionnaires, many leading to more significant conversations and invitations to FEU. Thursday they offer a Bible study and are looking to begin next year shuffling students to churches for studies there instead depending on local church activity. Saturdays they organize tourist outings, beach trips, and other fun gatherings for students, many of whom they shared don’t get out and see much if it isn’t organized for them. Alongside regular activities, each member of the couples is actively engaged in meeting with students one-on-one for discipleship, prayer, and Bible study. Each couple and students involved in leadership are significantly involved in local churches so as to fuel FEU’s vision and model church participation for other students.
Personal Note
If you’ve been keeping up this year, church attendance has been a huge prayer request this year with students. Having seen increased faithfulness in attendance I am encouraged but also have needed wisdom in how to further connect these students with a church I’m myself learning. Being at FEU today provided a great source of encouragement, vision, and resources, seeing that here exists a ministry feeding into the life of the local church. Being there as well with Joy was excellent because I asked questions from the student ministry perspective and she asked from both local French church needs perspective as well as potential placement for short-termers with GEM such as myself (to which they are VERY open). Our different sets of questions were able to fuel a broader discussion and garner more well-rounded, useful information.
Before we headed out, we stopped by the “Catho,” the Catholic university and one of many Lille universities. According to Wikipedia, with over 97,000 students, this city is considered “one of the first student cities in France.” Let me add, nothing gets my blood pumping like a college campus. Nothing. And nothing gets it pumping more than one attracting national and international populations, such as Lille and such as Compiegne here, yet on a much smaller scale. Today my blood was really pumping.
On the way out of town, we drove through Roubaix, keeping our eyes out for potential mosques, which we know exist but for which I was unable to find addresses. Shocker. If you google Roubaix, you will pull up many articles on Muslim-civic interactions. This is considered one of the most heavily Muslim-populated cities in France and has attracted significant research attention in France and internationally.
Although we didn’t see much of Lille, if you are interested in checking out academic life, ministry opportunities, or want to visit a place not Paris (which I recommend), this is a great spot. Please feel free to leave a comment if you would like more information concerning FEU or other opportunities in Lille.
Vision
FEU exists to serve the Church, encouraging students who know Jesus and those who come to know him to plug into their local churches. While they offer a regular weekly line-up of events as well, they carefully work to balance and not overlap nor overextend students between their programming and the churches’. In Lille, they work with 4-7 partner churches to connect students with congregations, needs, and church life. FEU sees their role as a part of the Church to build the Church and seeks to cultivate in students habits which will carry them beyond university parachurch activities after receiving their diplomas.
What it Looks Like
FEU’s exist in Grenoble, Lille, Marseille, and Chambery, and take on a variety of forms. Most are facilitated either out of someone’s home, which is bought with the space and intent to rent rooms to students engaged with FEU such as in Lille, or a larger building such as in Grenoble. As we experienced today, in a house or building welcoming students, the front door is always open and someone is always in the home. On Thursdays the team meets together and stays together for a good part of the day, thus contributing to the community sense of the ministry. FEU is a part of France pour Christ’s mission and is a relatively new ministry as far as mission history goes. It is also a France-born ministry.
Weekly Ministries
FEU Lille’s weekly ministries begin on Sunday, transporting students to church in a large vehicle. For the afternoon, they gather students for football (soccer), which provides an excellent opportunity to connect with students outside of FEU. Sunday evenings they often organize a culture-themed party replete with food, music, maybe dancing, and hanging out. Mondays are prayer. Tuesdays are prayer and days on campus engaging in evangelization by giving 12-question Bible knowledge tests to passing students. This year they have been able to connect with 600-900 students through these questionnaires, many leading to more significant conversations and invitations to FEU. Thursday they offer a Bible study and are looking to begin next year shuffling students to churches for studies there instead depending on local church activity. Saturdays they organize tourist outings, beach trips, and other fun gatherings for students, many of whom they shared don’t get out and see much if it isn’t organized for them. Alongside regular activities, each member of the couples is actively engaged in meeting with students one-on-one for discipleship, prayer, and Bible study. Each couple and students involved in leadership are significantly involved in local churches so as to fuel FEU’s vision and model church participation for other students.
Personal Note
If you’ve been keeping up this year, church attendance has been a huge prayer request this year with students. Having seen increased faithfulness in attendance I am encouraged but also have needed wisdom in how to further connect these students with a church I’m myself learning. Being at FEU today provided a great source of encouragement, vision, and resources, seeing that here exists a ministry feeding into the life of the local church. Being there as well with Joy was excellent because I asked questions from the student ministry perspective and she asked from both local French church needs perspective as well as potential placement for short-termers with GEM such as myself (to which they are VERY open). Our different sets of questions were able to fuel a broader discussion and garner more well-rounded, useful information.
Before we headed out, we stopped by the “Catho,” the Catholic university and one of many Lille universities. According to Wikipedia, with over 97,000 students, this city is considered “one of the first student cities in France.” Let me add, nothing gets my blood pumping like a college campus. Nothing. And nothing gets it pumping more than one attracting national and international populations, such as Lille and such as Compiegne here, yet on a much smaller scale. Today my blood was really pumping.
Ah, feels like home...in front of the Catholic university main hall
On the way out of town, we drove through Roubaix, keeping our eyes out for potential mosques, which we know exist but for which I was unable to find addresses. Shocker. If you google Roubaix, you will pull up many articles on Muslim-civic interactions. This is considered one of the most heavily Muslim-populated cities in France and has attracted significant research attention in France and internationally.
Although we didn’t see much of Lille, if you are interested in checking out academic life, ministry opportunities, or want to visit a place not Paris (which I recommend), this is a great spot. Please feel free to leave a comment if you would like more information concerning FEU or other opportunities in Lille.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Passion: Paris
Just got in from Passion: Paris. Forgot my camera. Whoops. Students and young adults from my church had a blast!
Following is the song that brought me to weeping tears.
God of this City
I include the brief clips from Kampala, because it was their Ugandan prayers and financial gifts that covered us in Paris this night. As Louie Giglio shared, "When we asked leaders in Uganda if it would be weird for them to give money to the Paris event, they said, 'Uh, yeah.'" France and the Western World is always giving to African countries. But tonight as Louie proclaimed, "But tonight, you are receiving from Uganda, which is how God's Kingdom works. It all gets turned upside down." Amen.
Passion in Kampala
Worship in Kampala
Following is the song that brought me to weeping tears.
God of this City
I include the brief clips from Kampala, because it was their Ugandan prayers and financial gifts that covered us in Paris this night. As Louie Giglio shared, "When we asked leaders in Uganda if it would be weird for them to give money to the Paris event, they said, 'Uh, yeah.'" France and the Western World is always giving to African countries. But tonight as Louie proclaimed, "But tonight, you are receiving from Uganda, which is how God's Kingdom works. It all gets turned upside down." Amen.
Passion in Kampala
Worship in Kampala
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Not My Day
Yesterday did not go at all as planned. In fact, everything I had written on my calendar didn't happen. I have a bike tire problem and since I'm a biking idiot cannot fix it myself. This has taken some time. I ended up going to back to L'Arche in the afternoon to see Sabine at the hospital with others, since I am delinquent and have not done so yet. I was also fielding calls a good part of the afternoon and evening concerning Passion: Paris details, which I was of course happy and equipped to do but had not realized would take so much time. Some items, albeit extra, like buying a birthday card for a friend and flowers for Sabine and groceries, were scrapped due to limited time and no wheels. A few other items rearranged my day and when I walked in at 6pm I felt a little overwhelmed to think about my unaccomplished to do list, yet all that I had done within the day was "supposed" to happen and there was nothing that I would have changed. Except my transportation issues...and to clarify, having my bike out of commission is a little like having your car out of commission. What I can accomplish in 30 minutes becomes 2 hours. You see the difference.
As well, transitioning to life back in the states requires some effort on this end and working according to stateside office hours. So when your day begins at 9am, my second day is beginning then too, around 4pm, if I'm here. And if not, which is often the case, my 6pm til about 10pmish. Fun times.
I fell asleep decompressing and processing the day with God as I looked out my lightly curtained windows at the dark sky. "Well, that just didn't go as planned, did it?" To which I promptly, with some Spirit help, responded, "Guess it wasn't your day after all?!" God and I had a nice laugh and chat about that before I cruised into sleepyville.
You would think yesterday would have situated me well for this morning but it didn't. I forgot to prep the coffee last night so didn't have any this morning. My bike which I thought was okay I discovered was flat again, a slow internal leak. So I called L'Arche while rolling down the street, aware that the cuisine group was all mine today, and said, I'm on my way but coming slowly on my bike. Now, I know it is not good for the frame to use a flat tire...but I could have cared less. I entered five minutes late still on the phone with my neighbor asking if he could help me take care of this problem. He and his friend would come by and pick it up and take it to get fixed. So while juggling a decreased number of cuisine participants, bike phone calls, etc, I glanced at an email which told me an email announcement about the June 7th JAO had not been sent. I wanted to throw ice at a fence (my mother's anger management plan for me as a child). On top of this I felt like a complete failure at L'Arche because while accomplishing the task, I was not fully present to the moment and needs of others and had to keep running out of the prayer and share time on the phone coordinating my bike pick up. Then it started to rain. I had not brought an umbrella and had determined I should not have woken up for this day. Pretty sure an English expletive came out. I called Marie-Pierre who I was meeting for lunch to say I would be late because I was on foot rather than bike. She understood. No worries. As well I was trying to get hold of colleagues to determine how to handle this JAO situation--was it a cultural timing/calendar issue I had to swallow? Should I suggest another date? Could we find one? Why wasn't this done earlier?!
Before I left L'Arche, three things happened. Valerie asked if we could grab coffee next week. Jordane, an assistant, asked if I wanted to eat at her foyer next week or two. Dalila who comes daily to Moulin invited me to dinner next Thursday, which is a big "validated" act to be able to invite someone into your foyer not as an assistant but as a "personne accuilli", handicapped person or literally "welcomed person."
Then when I met Marie-Pierre, she had met Natacha who was headed to the cafeteria alone. Can we eat together? Um, yeah! So we all three headed to the creperie nearby in centre ville and shared an absolutely wonderful time together. Marie-Pierre is eager to get together next week and it was wonderful to see Natacha and catch up a a bit. She's headed to Passion tonight with Nari, Clement, Sylvaine, and myself, all of GBU, and was pumped.
As I started my walk home after taking care of my yesterday's scrapped to do's out--post office, birthday card, grocery store--which is quick and easy to do if you are in centre ville, I breathed the cool windy spring air here that is constantly perfumed with fresh blooms. Since I'm always flying on my bike somewhere, sometimes the pace of walking and breathing is lost on me. I laughed as I hopped down a little side street. Well, God, I prayed in thought, you're using this morning to put me in a great spot for worship tonight are you not? You see, I've been a little cynical at times about Passion, not because I don't think it's great and that students will be refreshed. But here is this great big American event in English for French Christians, and I don't know enough to know how to personally sort through all my hang-ups about it. God repeatedly brought me back to my hardened heart and reminded me, You let me use what I will from this and just worship me. This morning, along with yesterday, was no different and it humbled me to realize it took a frustrating, out of it morning to ready me to enter the throne room. Shouldn't I always be softened and readied?
I was thinking as well on the way home on the question someone from my church posed for a bulletin insert upon my return, how has God used you? I wonder at the question and answer. Have I been used? Have I been useful? Have I been ready and willing? What would I look back over this year and believe God might have, in an odd moment of deciding to look on me as a daughter he could do something with for his purposes, seen for me. I think he saw Natacha's smile, Marie-Pierre's eagerness, Xue's sincerity, Sabine's pain, Dalila's invitation, Valerie's encouragement and peace, and my great brokenness. Then he did this--Plunk! Off you go, to Compiegne, do my bidding, and when you have a bad day or morning, I'll be there to give you a reason why you needed it.
Yesterday it was to be reminded my days are not my own. Today it was to prepare my heart for coming before him in my native tongue. And tomorrow, well, I hope tomorrow is better.
As well, transitioning to life back in the states requires some effort on this end and working according to stateside office hours. So when your day begins at 9am, my second day is beginning then too, around 4pm, if I'm here. And if not, which is often the case, my 6pm til about 10pmish. Fun times.
I fell asleep decompressing and processing the day with God as I looked out my lightly curtained windows at the dark sky. "Well, that just didn't go as planned, did it?" To which I promptly, with some Spirit help, responded, "Guess it wasn't your day after all?!" God and I had a nice laugh and chat about that before I cruised into sleepyville.
You would think yesterday would have situated me well for this morning but it didn't. I forgot to prep the coffee last night so didn't have any this morning. My bike which I thought was okay I discovered was flat again, a slow internal leak. So I called L'Arche while rolling down the street, aware that the cuisine group was all mine today, and said, I'm on my way but coming slowly on my bike. Now, I know it is not good for the frame to use a flat tire...but I could have cared less. I entered five minutes late still on the phone with my neighbor asking if he could help me take care of this problem. He and his friend would come by and pick it up and take it to get fixed. So while juggling a decreased number of cuisine participants, bike phone calls, etc, I glanced at an email which told me an email announcement about the June 7th JAO had not been sent. I wanted to throw ice at a fence (my mother's anger management plan for me as a child). On top of this I felt like a complete failure at L'Arche because while accomplishing the task, I was not fully present to the moment and needs of others and had to keep running out of the prayer and share time on the phone coordinating my bike pick up. Then it started to rain. I had not brought an umbrella and had determined I should not have woken up for this day. Pretty sure an English expletive came out. I called Marie-Pierre who I was meeting for lunch to say I would be late because I was on foot rather than bike. She understood. No worries. As well I was trying to get hold of colleagues to determine how to handle this JAO situation--was it a cultural timing/calendar issue I had to swallow? Should I suggest another date? Could we find one? Why wasn't this done earlier?!
Before I left L'Arche, three things happened. Valerie asked if we could grab coffee next week. Jordane, an assistant, asked if I wanted to eat at her foyer next week or two. Dalila who comes daily to Moulin invited me to dinner next Thursday, which is a big "validated" act to be able to invite someone into your foyer not as an assistant but as a "personne accuilli", handicapped person or literally "welcomed person."
Then when I met Marie-Pierre, she had met Natacha who was headed to the cafeteria alone. Can we eat together? Um, yeah! So we all three headed to the creperie nearby in centre ville and shared an absolutely wonderful time together. Marie-Pierre is eager to get together next week and it was wonderful to see Natacha and catch up a a bit. She's headed to Passion tonight with Nari, Clement, Sylvaine, and myself, all of GBU, and was pumped.
As I started my walk home after taking care of my yesterday's scrapped to do's out--post office, birthday card, grocery store--which is quick and easy to do if you are in centre ville, I breathed the cool windy spring air here that is constantly perfumed with fresh blooms. Since I'm always flying on my bike somewhere, sometimes the pace of walking and breathing is lost on me. I laughed as I hopped down a little side street. Well, God, I prayed in thought, you're using this morning to put me in a great spot for worship tonight are you not? You see, I've been a little cynical at times about Passion, not because I don't think it's great and that students will be refreshed. But here is this great big American event in English for French Christians, and I don't know enough to know how to personally sort through all my hang-ups about it. God repeatedly brought me back to my hardened heart and reminded me, You let me use what I will from this and just worship me. This morning, along with yesterday, was no different and it humbled me to realize it took a frustrating, out of it morning to ready me to enter the throne room. Shouldn't I always be softened and readied?
I was thinking as well on the way home on the question someone from my church posed for a bulletin insert upon my return, how has God used you? I wonder at the question and answer. Have I been used? Have I been useful? Have I been ready and willing? What would I look back over this year and believe God might have, in an odd moment of deciding to look on me as a daughter he could do something with for his purposes, seen for me. I think he saw Natacha's smile, Marie-Pierre's eagerness, Xue's sincerity, Sabine's pain, Dalila's invitation, Valerie's encouragement and peace, and my great brokenness. Then he did this--Plunk! Off you go, to Compiegne, do my bidding, and when you have a bad day or morning, I'll be there to give you a reason why you needed it.
Yesterday it was to be reminded my days are not my own. Today it was to prepare my heart for coming before him in my native tongue. And tomorrow, well, I hope tomorrow is better.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
It's Good to Be Back
After a little over two week stint in the states, mainly in Oklahoma with a run to Denver for a wedding and down to Texas to fly out, I'm back in Compiegne for the final leg. And how wonderful it is!
Wednesday night the McAuleys graciously allowed me to organize a round table on Muslim worldview and evangelistic conversation points with students in their home. Nari, Armel, and Clement (responsables and future responsable) came for a two hour plus dinner and learning time with two workers from the Paris area. This was an exciting evening to organize and we were truly blessed by our time together and further equipped for our increasing opportunities to engage Muslim students in dialogue concerning their faith and Christianity. For most in the Muslim tradition, questioning and understanding their faith is either unacceptable or not thought of to do, a major point which Christians can engage not by antagonizing but by simply asking them questions of their faith. This can begin them on their own asking and seeking journey, one which we may pray brings them to see Jesus as more than prophet.
It was wonderful seeing three of the students and Nari had exciting news--she has been accepted for a humanitarian project in Laos using her degree in food engineering and design. She will be helping design nutritional programs for underfed children with limited resources. Is that not cool?! I jumped and got all giddy when she told me. :)
This morning at L'Arche, while meeting with Valerie before group de decoration, I was corralled into the kitchen and presented with a croissant as my welcome back. As I often arrive on Thursdays with a croissant in hand for my meeting with Valerie, Benedicte was convinced this would be a sure winner. And lest you be fooled--the way to my heart is by food. No wonder me and the French get along so well. As I laughed and savored, they peppered me with questions about my time home and I heard of Martine and Valerie's trip to London. Group deco was two short, as Gerard broke his finger and Sabine is still in the hospital. I have particularly enjoyed working with Gerard to help him discover gifts within--namely his artistic ability only recently realized--and look forward to his return. Tomorrow we celebrate 4 birthdays and I am excited to be back for them!
My time home put these next 5 weeks into a perspective that I can't quite describe other than to say I have great peace and joy and am not overwhelmed with the sadness I thought imminent. This must be God. I've been doing some reading and reflecting on Scripture, which has been a great aid, and I will hope to post those notes soon. Lunches abound with students already, weekends between now and when I leave are full, and life and ministry rolls along. Next Tuesday night some students and I head down to Paris for Passion: Paris and the last JAO of the year is scheduled for June 7th. Please continue to lift us up here.
Here are two French song links to check out. I pretty much LOVE Garou's voice and if the arrangement of Belle doesn't make you weep, something is severely wrong.
Belle
Sous le Vent
Me, Lauren, our cousin Casey relaxing after her art show
Even at 23 and 25, we still pull off "adorable" (in my opinion).
An impromptu run over to see Mamaw in Tyler, TX before I flew out of DFW.
Wednesday night the McAuleys graciously allowed me to organize a round table on Muslim worldview and evangelistic conversation points with students in their home. Nari, Armel, and Clement (responsables and future responsable) came for a two hour plus dinner and learning time with two workers from the Paris area. This was an exciting evening to organize and we were truly blessed by our time together and further equipped for our increasing opportunities to engage Muslim students in dialogue concerning their faith and Christianity. For most in the Muslim tradition, questioning and understanding their faith is either unacceptable or not thought of to do, a major point which Christians can engage not by antagonizing but by simply asking them questions of their faith. This can begin them on their own asking and seeking journey, one which we may pray brings them to see Jesus as more than prophet.
Me, Nari, Armel, our two guests, and Clement after our dinner round table
It was wonderful seeing three of the students and Nari had exciting news--she has been accepted for a humanitarian project in Laos using her degree in food engineering and design. She will be helping design nutritional programs for underfed children with limited resources. Is that not cool?! I jumped and got all giddy when she told me. :)
This morning at L'Arche, while meeting with Valerie before group de decoration, I was corralled into the kitchen and presented with a croissant as my welcome back. As I often arrive on Thursdays with a croissant in hand for my meeting with Valerie, Benedicte was convinced this would be a sure winner. And lest you be fooled--the way to my heart is by food. No wonder me and the French get along so well. As I laughed and savored, they peppered me with questions about my time home and I heard of Martine and Valerie's trip to London. Group deco was two short, as Gerard broke his finger and Sabine is still in the hospital. I have particularly enjoyed working with Gerard to help him discover gifts within--namely his artistic ability only recently realized--and look forward to his return. Tomorrow we celebrate 4 birthdays and I am excited to be back for them!
My time home put these next 5 weeks into a perspective that I can't quite describe other than to say I have great peace and joy and am not overwhelmed with the sadness I thought imminent. This must be God. I've been doing some reading and reflecting on Scripture, which has been a great aid, and I will hope to post those notes soon. Lunches abound with students already, weekends between now and when I leave are full, and life and ministry rolls along. Next Tuesday night some students and I head down to Paris for Passion: Paris and the last JAO of the year is scheduled for June 7th. Please continue to lift us up here.
Here are two French song links to check out. I pretty much LOVE Garou's voice and if the arrangement of Belle doesn't make you weep, something is severely wrong.
Belle
Sous le Vent
Monday, April 14, 2008
Mid-April Update
I’m writing this blog in advance and for review to accomplish a few things—give a brief update, preview you as to what’s coming down the pipe, and leave you with a few poems/ditties I have jotted in my journal. I also say this: You may not hear from me for a while. I’m giving an update now so you can be praying. Thanks in advance!
So Far
April thus far has been fairly “normal”, and I use that term loosely. GBU, one-on-one’s, L’Arche, meeting up with Compiegne acquaintances and friends. Marie, who I met through JAO and Virginia Hemmerle, came over to meet for sharing and prayer, which is always a blessing. I met up different days with a few UTC students outside the regular GBU loop. Had coffee with Valerie from L’Arche, which again, huge blessing. She has a beautiful testimony and presence and much wisdom on how to serve well at L’Arche. Thursday night I headed to Mozaik’s party, the student group of which Natacha is president. Several GBU students were going and had invited me and it was a blast (even if humorous to me) to join them on the dance floor. I love dancing and it takes all of 60 seconds for me to warm up to bustin’ a move. Last week I was hardly ever home and I have given up cooking for myself beyond the basic and simple. I busted my tail the first weekend of April and week following so I could take a retreat at the McAuley’s house. Wonderfully it worked out for me to be there Friday afternoon through Sunday morning and I experienced most of the time in silence holed up in their basement. Between letter writing, reading, journaling, praying, thinking, oh my, it was divine and much needed. This week I am at L’Arche in the afternoons rather than mornings and students are on vacation (I know, yet again…). This has opened up a great opportunity for me to press forward on my Greek. I fell behind but am slowly getting back on track and if I can say this, really enjoying it. Continue to keep this endeavor in your prayers. I’ve also been busy getting FAFSA for next year finally done, tickets bought, and final month plans made and in the works. What prompted this blog in fact was my purchase of my final ticket home—July 8th. I don’t really know what to do with that. So, I have it. It’s official, I’m leaving France. There…
Natacha in all her glory :)
What’s Coming
This coming weekend I’ll be joining Nari, Armel, and Clement for GBU’s Congres National near Tours, France. The topic for the weekend is “Bible without Borders,” considering the place the Bible is legally not allowed around the globe and the places it is culturally and legally not allowed in France. Nari, Armel, and I have already spoken about taking some time this weekend to strategize for responsibility sharing and turnover for the year to come, and I am excited overall at the momentum GBU has going. Pray for that to continue.
Between now and May 8, there is the regular activities of the week with L’Arche and GBU. April 15 I have a dinner meeting my place with Joel and Francois to plan for the next and final JAO before summer vacation begins. This Thursday is one of the L’Arche assistant’s birthdays, which I have learned normally gets her down. Last week our decoration group made a birthday poster, and Valerie and I have a surprise in the works for her, Martine, Thursday morning and at gouter (snack) time. Pray she may be blessed. Another thing on the L’Arche front, as of next week I will not be there on Wednesdays. This is sad for me because I really look forward to mosaic with Chantal but for all the rest going on, it is necessary and I have both L’Arche’s and GEM’s blessing. Francis and I are also going to meet with a higher-up before I leave in May to discuss my time there and how they would prefer I transition out of my volunteer position. I’m also working out seeing a couple long-time GEM missionaries as well as visiting Faculte Libre de Theologie Evangelique a Vaux-sur-Seine, just west of Paris. I’ll be in Berlin, Germany April 30-May 3 for GEM’s first organization-wide Muslim ministry training. I am very excited about this and cannot wait to give you a report. May 5 I will attend the L’Oise Pastorale (L’Oise area pastor’s bi-monthly meeting) to make a brief announcement about the Passion worship conference and distribute publicity. Pray for reception to the information and encouragement of their students to attend. May 8 I leave for the USA until May 26. During that time I will be helping out with and attending my sister’s art show, going to her graduation, participating in my former roommates’ wedding festivities, and making some headway on details for my July/August move, transition, beginning of studies, and finding a job. I will also be getting in touch with supporters to make plans for seeing you all in July! I am very excited to share face to face with so many of you who have loved and supported me well here.
Prayer Requests
Last week I had lunch with Nari and Xue, and they found out that Xue will be doing a semester abroad in Switzerland in the same city Nari has applied for an internship. Nari has been praying for that opportunity so that she can encourage Xue as she is trying to believe. I ask you to pray explicitly that Xue comes to belief this year and that Nari may be allowed to walk with her with all joy and energy in her first steps. I cannot reiterate enough—THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT PRAYER REQUEST! Nari has continued to follow my time with Xue and has been praying for us. Pray that Xue and I may have some pointed discussions in the next few weeks and that Nari will be granted the next privilege of walking alongside her. How personally sweet for me this would be.
I am also hoping/praying to organize a Muslim ministry dinner and roundtable for a handful of GBU students. A couple are already very interested, and given their almost constant contact with many Muslim students, I sense this time would be greatly beneficial. Pray for me to be able to get that organized and facilitated between now and the end of May.
Pray also for final JAO planning, the Passion World Tour Paris stop, ongoing relationships here in Compiegne, and so much more, I can’t even keep up with it. I am hoping to see the Prevotes, and at the least Olivia, before I leave May 8 and continue to keep them lifted up. Madame Bataille asks about them and she is a great encouragement to me here to have the hard conversations. Thad McAuley asked me if there was anything they were afraid of, fears? (a prevalent issue in France). No, I said, they are so happy-go-lucky joyful people. I forgot one thing—Jean-Stephane won’t step foot in a cemetery. He’s afraid of them. Madame Bataille brought this to mind. Perhaps this is an opportunity, I don’t know if that door will be opened; but pray.
Poems
Metro
You notice that there is no noise
sauf les americains
Who are just so excited and don’t know better
And the hormonally-driven anxious teenagers shouting for attention
You notice that no one smiles
and there is certainly never laughter
You notice that everyone is reading something
and you feel out of place if you’re not
You notice that everyone exits walking the same quick pace that the train parts
You notice that you learn the manners of the metro,
how to enter, exit, sit, stand
You learn to ignore others
and get yourself where you need to go
You learn to occupy your space
and neglect that it is shared
You learn how to avoid direct eye contact
but still manage to people watch
You learn to stop looking out the window
for a glimpse of sunlight or someone you know
Because this is after all a black tunnel
You stop listening to the voices and conversations around you
You start automatically attaching pod to ear
You stop smiling even when the accordion-player begs you to
You start trying to blend in by looking devoid of emotion
You stop wondering how long it takes to get from place to place
You start allowing a standard 45 minutes, apologizing if late, roaming if early
That’s the life of the metro
Its power to which we succumb
Without thinking
Because we need to get to wherever it is we’re going
Forget the journey
Repetition
And it is sometimes
in the repeating
That we can remember
Jesus, je sais que tu es la
It takes the melody and the silence
to recall for us his presence
Because prone we are to forget, or neglect, or ignore
Baptism
Wash me in the waters
O Thou Spirit most divine
Refresh me and renew me
Reminding, the life coursing thro’ ‘tis thine
Wash me in the waters
Cleansing, may they be
Recalling that my choice of thee
Doth bind for eternity
Wash me in the waters
Fresh baptismal flow
Surrounding and engulfing be its
Glisten and its glow
Wash me in the waters
Making me anew
Reborn and re-envisioned
Yours again, me in you
Oh wash me in the waters
Which for me is life
Yours I come, leaving at the altar
My human grief and strife
For thou O God, art Lord alone
Of me and all the land
Of all the peoples and the places
Countless as the ever-baptized sand
Entering Silence
Profound is the silence ever widening before me
Evidencing the distractions cluttering space
inviting and wanting all that is holy to enter
A gift to sit and hear only the creaking of wood and passing of outside cars
as silence falls and reigns in a space
Meant for awed worship
Entering Silence Two
The bell tolls, but unheard
Only a mark of my mind,
That it has begun, this retreat into returning as we came
Silence
What glory is it, I admit,
To have left behind all that would pull and entangle
For prolonged moments of being
That it could always be as this,
Friday evening falling
With no thoughts of where to be, what to do, what’s forgotten
Only Be is what lies before me
And it is as if my entire body, down to the nerves in my feet know
Beautiful is this glory
All that floods me now is the joy of what is to come
Amplified by the joy of what is now
How great thou art
How great it is
Simultaneous wonders to me
Silence falls, sun remains,
And flooding in, come they both
When I Stop to Think
Someday you’ll wake up
And be 30, 50, 80
Will it all have been one pursuit after another
Without end
Continuous striving
And no rest
May there be points of conclusion and closure
With ability to look back and rejoice
Forward and dream
Down and delight
May it all be lived as a gracious gift
Unsure, but in need of fidelity
Commitment
Grace
And Love
So Far
April thus far has been fairly “normal”, and I use that term loosely. GBU, one-on-one’s, L’Arche, meeting up with Compiegne acquaintances and friends. Marie, who I met through JAO and Virginia Hemmerle, came over to meet for sharing and prayer, which is always a blessing. I met up different days with a few UTC students outside the regular GBU loop. Had coffee with Valerie from L’Arche, which again, huge blessing. She has a beautiful testimony and presence and much wisdom on how to serve well at L’Arche. Thursday night I headed to Mozaik’s party, the student group of which Natacha is president. Several GBU students were going and had invited me and it was a blast (even if humorous to me) to join them on the dance floor. I love dancing and it takes all of 60 seconds for me to warm up to bustin’ a move. Last week I was hardly ever home and I have given up cooking for myself beyond the basic and simple. I busted my tail the first weekend of April and week following so I could take a retreat at the McAuley’s house. Wonderfully it worked out for me to be there Friday afternoon through Sunday morning and I experienced most of the time in silence holed up in their basement. Between letter writing, reading, journaling, praying, thinking, oh my, it was divine and much needed. This week I am at L’Arche in the afternoons rather than mornings and students are on vacation (I know, yet again…). This has opened up a great opportunity for me to press forward on my Greek. I fell behind but am slowly getting back on track and if I can say this, really enjoying it. Continue to keep this endeavor in your prayers. I’ve also been busy getting FAFSA for next year finally done, tickets bought, and final month plans made and in the works. What prompted this blog in fact was my purchase of my final ticket home—July 8th. I don’t really know what to do with that. So, I have it. It’s official, I’m leaving France. There…
Students dancing at Mozaik's party
Natacha in all her glory :)
Julien, Jacque, me, and Chantal during mosaic, the craft
What’s Coming
This coming weekend I’ll be joining Nari, Armel, and Clement for GBU’s Congres National near Tours, France. The topic for the weekend is “Bible without Borders,” considering the place the Bible is legally not allowed around the globe and the places it is culturally and legally not allowed in France. Nari, Armel, and I have already spoken about taking some time this weekend to strategize for responsibility sharing and turnover for the year to come, and I am excited overall at the momentum GBU has going. Pray for that to continue.
Between now and May 8, there is the regular activities of the week with L’Arche and GBU. April 15 I have a dinner meeting my place with Joel and Francois to plan for the next and final JAO before summer vacation begins. This Thursday is one of the L’Arche assistant’s birthdays, which I have learned normally gets her down. Last week our decoration group made a birthday poster, and Valerie and I have a surprise in the works for her, Martine, Thursday morning and at gouter (snack) time. Pray she may be blessed. Another thing on the L’Arche front, as of next week I will not be there on Wednesdays. This is sad for me because I really look forward to mosaic with Chantal but for all the rest going on, it is necessary and I have both L’Arche’s and GEM’s blessing. Francis and I are also going to meet with a higher-up before I leave in May to discuss my time there and how they would prefer I transition out of my volunteer position. I’m also working out seeing a couple long-time GEM missionaries as well as visiting Faculte Libre de Theologie Evangelique a Vaux-sur-Seine, just west of Paris. I’ll be in Berlin, Germany April 30-May 3 for GEM’s first organization-wide Muslim ministry training. I am very excited about this and cannot wait to give you a report. May 5 I will attend the L’Oise Pastorale (L’Oise area pastor’s bi-monthly meeting) to make a brief announcement about the Passion worship conference and distribute publicity. Pray for reception to the information and encouragement of their students to attend. May 8 I leave for the USA until May 26. During that time I will be helping out with and attending my sister’s art show, going to her graduation, participating in my former roommates’ wedding festivities, and making some headway on details for my July/August move, transition, beginning of studies, and finding a job. I will also be getting in touch with supporters to make plans for seeing you all in July! I am very excited to share face to face with so many of you who have loved and supported me well here.
Prayer Requests
Last week I had lunch with Nari and Xue, and they found out that Xue will be doing a semester abroad in Switzerland in the same city Nari has applied for an internship. Nari has been praying for that opportunity so that she can encourage Xue as she is trying to believe. I ask you to pray explicitly that Xue comes to belief this year and that Nari may be allowed to walk with her with all joy and energy in her first steps. I cannot reiterate enough—THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT PRAYER REQUEST! Nari has continued to follow my time with Xue and has been praying for us. Pray that Xue and I may have some pointed discussions in the next few weeks and that Nari will be granted the next privilege of walking alongside her. How personally sweet for me this would be.
I am also hoping/praying to organize a Muslim ministry dinner and roundtable for a handful of GBU students. A couple are already very interested, and given their almost constant contact with many Muslim students, I sense this time would be greatly beneficial. Pray for me to be able to get that organized and facilitated between now and the end of May.
Pray also for final JAO planning, the Passion World Tour Paris stop, ongoing relationships here in Compiegne, and so much more, I can’t even keep up with it. I am hoping to see the Prevotes, and at the least Olivia, before I leave May 8 and continue to keep them lifted up. Madame Bataille asks about them and she is a great encouragement to me here to have the hard conversations. Thad McAuley asked me if there was anything they were afraid of, fears? (a prevalent issue in France). No, I said, they are so happy-go-lucky joyful people. I forgot one thing—Jean-Stephane won’t step foot in a cemetery. He’s afraid of them. Madame Bataille brought this to mind. Perhaps this is an opportunity, I don’t know if that door will be opened; but pray.
Poems
Metro
You notice that there is no noise
sauf les americains
Who are just so excited and don’t know better
And the hormonally-driven anxious teenagers shouting for attention
You notice that no one smiles
and there is certainly never laughter
You notice that everyone is reading something
and you feel out of place if you’re not
You notice that everyone exits walking the same quick pace that the train parts
You notice that you learn the manners of the metro,
how to enter, exit, sit, stand
You learn to ignore others
and get yourself where you need to go
You learn to occupy your space
and neglect that it is shared
You learn how to avoid direct eye contact
but still manage to people watch
You learn to stop looking out the window
for a glimpse of sunlight or someone you know
Because this is after all a black tunnel
You stop listening to the voices and conversations around you
You start automatically attaching pod to ear
You stop smiling even when the accordion-player begs you to
You start trying to blend in by looking devoid of emotion
You stop wondering how long it takes to get from place to place
You start allowing a standard 45 minutes, apologizing if late, roaming if early
That’s the life of the metro
Its power to which we succumb
Without thinking
Because we need to get to wherever it is we’re going
Forget the journey
Repetition
And it is sometimes
in the repeating
That we can remember
Jesus, je sais que tu es la
It takes the melody and the silence
to recall for us his presence
Because prone we are to forget, or neglect, or ignore
Baptism
Wash me in the waters
O Thou Spirit most divine
Refresh me and renew me
Reminding, the life coursing thro’ ‘tis thine
Wash me in the waters
Cleansing, may they be
Recalling that my choice of thee
Doth bind for eternity
Wash me in the waters
Fresh baptismal flow
Surrounding and engulfing be its
Glisten and its glow
Wash me in the waters
Making me anew
Reborn and re-envisioned
Yours again, me in you
Oh wash me in the waters
Which for me is life
Yours I come, leaving at the altar
My human grief and strife
For thou O God, art Lord alone
Of me and all the land
Of all the peoples and the places
Countless as the ever-baptized sand
Entering Silence
Profound is the silence ever widening before me
Evidencing the distractions cluttering space
inviting and wanting all that is holy to enter
A gift to sit and hear only the creaking of wood and passing of outside cars
as silence falls and reigns in a space
Meant for awed worship
Entering Silence Two
The bell tolls, but unheard
Only a mark of my mind,
That it has begun, this retreat into returning as we came
Silence
What glory is it, I admit,
To have left behind all that would pull and entangle
For prolonged moments of being
That it could always be as this,
Friday evening falling
With no thoughts of where to be, what to do, what’s forgotten
Only Be is what lies before me
And it is as if my entire body, down to the nerves in my feet know
Beautiful is this glory
All that floods me now is the joy of what is to come
Amplified by the joy of what is now
How great thou art
How great it is
Simultaneous wonders to me
Silence falls, sun remains,
And flooding in, come they both
When I Stop to Think
Someday you’ll wake up
And be 30, 50, 80
Will it all have been one pursuit after another
Without end
Continuous striving
And no rest
May there be points of conclusion and closure
With ability to look back and rejoice
Forward and dream
Down and delight
May it all be lived as a gracious gift
Unsure, but in need of fidelity
Commitment
Grace
And Love
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Praise Ya
Y’all, I’m up in my room, at my desk, dancing praises. And ain’t nothin’ but the Holy Spirit making that happen. Let me break it down, GBU-style. Check it…
Last Tuesday night, we had a Bible study on John 8:31-47 to discuss truth and freedom. Now, I don’t know about you, but that is not an easy passage, and the students DUG IN!!! Our discussion was amazing, and we were guided over and over again into the text by Armel. The themes of desires, will, being slaves, and sin, along side truth and freedom, were all on the table. And let me just say, GBU is trying very hard to become an official group at the university here, which is a long, long, tiring, walking fine lines process. That said, it is imperative (I can’t stress that enough.) that we study the text of Scripture. The Christian students in the group believe it contains truth and words speaking of life, and it is in this spirit everyone is engaged in facilitating the studies. But we also have to objectively consider the text and trust God to work through study to raise up words of truth.
It is at this point that I would like to say, I LOVE the Bible! I have always liked it, but alongside GBU and through personal study this year (complimenting previous studies) I am overwhelmed at the logic of Scripture. Now, I do not pretend to preach the logic of the Gospel. That is entirely different, and I don’t see logic other than what faith and spiritual understanding grant. But, the Biblical texts themselves are brilliant. Not easy, mind you, but simply brilliant.
Tonight we studied Ephesians 2:1-10 to consider the “obligations of God.” The point was to enter into studying grace, which was well-facilitated by Corinne and Nari, and it was a most engaging study for everyone, with plenty of questions posed and pressed. And responses from the text searched out. Beautiful. I believe among the Christian attendees there is a hunger for the Word being fueled and for others we are welcoming they are finding truly a safe space to search out the teachings of Scripture.
I have the image of “God added to their numbers” from Acts 2, and every time I return to my apartment from a GBU study, I cannot help but praise and pray for what God is doing in this midst of this group. We number regularly 17, and tonight we welcomed two students from the Catholic group. Nari, Armel, Clement, and I joined their group last week for a Wednesday dinner, and Nari and I went to a worship group on Thursday. Powerful! Beautiful to worship with brothers and sisters of a different Christian fabric who are seeking out the glory of God to be established. We know we have our differences, but we also see our love and belief in Christ as central and crucial. Pray that God will continue to bless further exchanges and relationships established between us.
Speaking of relationships being established, with the McAuleys’ permission, I was able to host a dinner and GBU women sleep-over in their home on Friday. We had a blast and the thought always ran through my mind was, “Oh, the things I can do with a house.” And I am dead serious. I “need” a house. We ate ratatouille, munched American monster cookies, shared our weeks’ highs and lows, watched movies, chomped down homemade guac with chips, and laughed tons. We had 10 total for dinner and 5 for the night. Scrambling eggs after only I think what was 3 hours of sleep was never so much fun! Here’s a few photos for proof.
Two songs that make me DANCE and PRAISE!
Shackles
O Praise Him
Last Tuesday night, we had a Bible study on John 8:31-47 to discuss truth and freedom. Now, I don’t know about you, but that is not an easy passage, and the students DUG IN!!! Our discussion was amazing, and we were guided over and over again into the text by Armel. The themes of desires, will, being slaves, and sin, along side truth and freedom, were all on the table. And let me just say, GBU is trying very hard to become an official group at the university here, which is a long, long, tiring, walking fine lines process. That said, it is imperative (I can’t stress that enough.) that we study the text of Scripture. The Christian students in the group believe it contains truth and words speaking of life, and it is in this spirit everyone is engaged in facilitating the studies. But we also have to objectively consider the text and trust God to work through study to raise up words of truth.
It is at this point that I would like to say, I LOVE the Bible! I have always liked it, but alongside GBU and through personal study this year (complimenting previous studies) I am overwhelmed at the logic of Scripture. Now, I do not pretend to preach the logic of the Gospel. That is entirely different, and I don’t see logic other than what faith and spiritual understanding grant. But, the Biblical texts themselves are brilliant. Not easy, mind you, but simply brilliant.
Tonight we studied Ephesians 2:1-10 to consider the “obligations of God.” The point was to enter into studying grace, which was well-facilitated by Corinne and Nari, and it was a most engaging study for everyone, with plenty of questions posed and pressed. And responses from the text searched out. Beautiful. I believe among the Christian attendees there is a hunger for the Word being fueled and for others we are welcoming they are finding truly a safe space to search out the teachings of Scripture.
I have the image of “God added to their numbers” from Acts 2, and every time I return to my apartment from a GBU study, I cannot help but praise and pray for what God is doing in this midst of this group. We number regularly 17, and tonight we welcomed two students from the Catholic group. Nari, Armel, Clement, and I joined their group last week for a Wednesday dinner, and Nari and I went to a worship group on Thursday. Powerful! Beautiful to worship with brothers and sisters of a different Christian fabric who are seeking out the glory of God to be established. We know we have our differences, but we also see our love and belief in Christ as central and crucial. Pray that God will continue to bless further exchanges and relationships established between us.
Speaking of relationships being established, with the McAuleys’ permission, I was able to host a dinner and GBU women sleep-over in their home on Friday. We had a blast and the thought always ran through my mind was, “Oh, the things I can do with a house.” And I am dead serious. I “need” a house. We ate ratatouille, munched American monster cookies, shared our weeks’ highs and lows, watched movies, chomped down homemade guac with chips, and laughed tons. We had 10 total for dinner and 5 for the night. Scrambling eggs after only I think what was 3 hours of sleep was never so much fun! Here’s a few photos for proof.
Two songs that make me DANCE and PRAISE!
Shackles
O Praise Him
Monday, March 31, 2008
The Comprehensive Report
Oh my, where to begin. As my sister has told me, your blogs are longish. Yes, this I know. I’ll try to make it easier reading by giving titles for what could potentially be a mammoth blog. It’s my Sunday evening, down-time activity after a few full weeks. So full that laundry just barely happened and I have yet to do my grocery store shopping since Easter, save toilet paper, milk, apples, and cereal. ☺ C’est la vie.
Easter in Touquet
I’ve had several folks ask me, How was Easter with your family? There is SO much to say here, and I know I’m pretty free in sharing in this locale. But, I’ve opted to share with supporters via an imminent update more personal details than I will publish here. For the sake of protecting privacy and out of respect at this point, not wanting to make objects those whom are dear subjects, I will leave you with the following points.
I had GREAT doors opened to me during this weekend, specifically with Olivia and Chloe. Olivia and I discussed all the way to Touquet “religion,” and I was able to hear much of her beliefs, her issues with the Catholic Church, etc. As I recounted to someone, I prayed for every moment that I could “preach Jesus” without preaching. I took every sentence captive and prayed God would make me faithful with the conversation. I also wanted her to hear my moments of pressing God and Jesus, that it is not a simple faith I have stepped into, for I heard one of her values being, It is important to know why we believe and practice how we do. Without understanding, it is meaningless. I also share this point with her and pray for continued opportunities to “preach” Jesus. If you receive the support letter, you will know t he story of Chloe. Sorry, it is a tender one but doesn’t make the public access blog cut.
On the whole, the weekend was actually difficult for me because it was the first Easter in my life when I wasn’t celebrating communally with the Church Christ’s resurrection. I repeatedly asked God to push me outwards, give me joy and help me serve in the midst of my sadness. (It also snowed on Easter, which also made me homesick for Chicago.) I was also able to use this, however, to tell JS and Olivia how different Easter is in France. “Everyone celebrates it here, everyone goes to mass and says the words…but it does nothing. Back home, it’s a party. We celebrate!”
Continue pressing prayers in for this family.
JAO Teaching
Thank you for your prayers for Saturday night. After spending the last month preparing, after revising and correcting my poor written French with my tutor and a couple others, and after much prayer, God gave me great peace in entering the evening with the knowledge that it is his Spirit who animates and communicates, even across language barriers. Listeners were gracious and together we discovered how important it is to both learn about prayer from Scripture and be reminded of how crucial it is for our lives personally, communally, and globally. I was delightfully reminded that as part of a team with Francois and Joel, we together carry the work of the evening and what a blessing that was and is—to see how we were synced over the span of the hours and in the midst of shifting plans (Our worship leader arrived late, which ended up being perfect after having been in Scriptures on prayer, to be drawn into worship from that.) What a good and gracious God we serve, and I was/am humbled to get to be a part of encouraging the saints through Scripture and teaching.
GBU Inside Scoop…I’s all good, foo’ (an expression my sister and I use meaning, “It’s all good, fool.”)
Since last I wrote in depth on GBU, we have kicked off the new semester and are going strong. We spent the first two weeks learning together how to facilitate a Bible s tudy using the inductive (OIA) Bible study method, led by Esther of GBU-Nord. Nari got us all organized with Excel spreadsheets of everyone signed up to receive our emails as well as a sign-up sheet for the semester of studies, which already has things flowing much better. My friend Zola came to share his story and encourage returning students. We were allowed to use a room at UTC for our first study, went back to the apartment for the next, and this Tuesday, a university representative is coming to check us out to see if we can be granted further permission for a room as well as becoming official. They are afraid of proselytization, which we don’t do. If they note anything about our group, I pray it will be our diversity and dynamic. Since the new semester we welcome 15-17 students give or take. Of these we are Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, a-religious, all being engaged for the evening with Scripture. I have been particularly encouraged at the wisdom and planning given to preparing studies thus far, and am excited for the opportunities before us together this semester.
As for meeting with the women, due to some personal issues, Xue had dropped off the scene but we have reconnected at her initiation and some exciting things are happening there. Continue pray as we meet on Thursdays for lunch. Although Nari and I are not meeting regularly, we are in consistent contact via email, phone calls, and conversations; she is a strong one and I pray for her personal growth and gifts to be used in the Kingdom. Corinne, Natacha, and I meet also one-on-one and these gals especially have made their home in my heart. When Natacha and I first met at the beginning of the semester, she was eager to talk—“I like to talk a lot, and I knew I could talk to you.” Two hours later…☺ Corinne is a tender one with a sensitive spirit and I pray God’s guidance and protection and presence over her constantly. I think she is making some life choices as a direct result of her spiritual growth that are difficult but necessary. I don’t know details, but God is moving in her and growing her in assuredness. The three of us also started swimming lessons yesterday. When Natacha found out I was a swim instructor she nearly fell over in glee. Turns out neither of them know how to swim, but we will fix that soon enough!
What’s up at L’Arche?
I go into L’Arche every day for a few hours, and continually I find they entrust me with activities. My time there has allowed me insights into several various and difficult areas for a mission worker to understand—working in France; Catholicism; social services; city/Compiegne community. Through each of these aspects I have found my time at L’Arche to serve me in almost all other areas of my living and being here. It is quite the joy and gift to go there every day, and more often than not I find I need them more than they probably need me. L’Arche represents on the whole a rather (although not entirely) believing and practicing Catholic community, open to the likes of me and others. The Tuesday after Easter during prayer and share time, I nearly lost it as Francis recounted how we have hope in Jesus’ life as Christians after Easter and when Benedicte shared that for her after Easter is the beginning of a new spiritual year. Valerie encouraged me when I shared briefly about talking with Chloe over Easter weekend—“Well, you have to because if you don’t, she might not ever be told about the resurrection.” Our decoration group continues to go well and it appears that I am in charge of salad and dessert shopping needs for Tuesday lunch. As well, Chantal and I have begun to work on a new mosaic hot pad together. She has Down’s Syndrome and cannot see well at all, so I am experimenting with how to create a “puzzle” form out of the mosaic so she can create more complicated items. We work very well together and I love this!
However, I am also going to talk to Francis about decreasing my hours at L’Arche by one day per week. I have fallen behind in other areas here, as well as on the whole being less organized than I usually am, not good for all that’s before me between now and July. As I have met more students at UTC and there is more work with GBU students to do, I want to shift my energies there in my remaining months. Thus, the time shift away from L’Arche.
A sad note to add on L’Arche. Sabine, one of my favorite individuals who comes daily to the workshop, was crossing the street going home on Good Friday. She normally comes and goes alone, but she also has tendencies to lock into tunnel vision. This must have been one of those times, because she did not look before she crossed and was hit by an oncoming car. All of us who work with her were there and were able to be present at the scene. Needless to say, it was quite the shock and not the most pleasant way to begin Easter weekend. She suffered multiple broken bones and will not be able to move for several weeks due to a broken pelvis. She is conscious and her head seems to be functioning as it was before, but pray for her healing in these upcoming weeks.
Personally Speaking—An update on the non-important yet nonetheless existent elements of my life. ☺
My desk, if it could speak, feels like an abandoned child. My apartment is in dire need of a scrub down and a grocery store trip is, uh, way overdue. I’ve drunk more caffeine the last two weeks than I have since A quad 2nd semester senior year. I haven’t read for pleasure in a long time (although I did start a book over Easter; remains to be seen if I’ll pick it back up). I recently told my mother that I’m homesick for Waco, to which she responded, Whoa, haven’t heard that in 5 years! I need to buy 3 airfare tickets, all in a span of three weeks and I’m behind in general in looking ahead on the calendar. I’m out of Nutella, which I thought I would never do, finish the jar. But somehow, that bread and chocolate combo they eat here has gotten into my system. My neighbor bought me a new bike to “borrow” until I leave in July after I stupidly threw away an old handle part that is hard to find on my vintage French bike.
Not Yet, But Soon
Although I do not leave until July, the time is passing too quickly. I will be in the states (though sadly neither in Texas or Chicago) for a good part of May for my sister’s graduation and art show and a friend’s wedding. Knowing that May is limited in my time here and that when I return, June will fly, I’ve already entered that “don’t really think about it yet but start preparing” emotional mode. Ministry-wise, there is some transition work to do before I depart from GBU and JAO. Personally, I’m going to be a complete mess. I miss home in many ways—church in Waco and Chicago; living with people; family; hugs; friends that are easily reached via telephone and it doesn’t take two weeks to figure out connecting; speaking English and laughing a lot; Tex-Mex, bbq, and deep dish pizza ☺. But in some ways those are all pretty selfish. When Mahina inquired as to my departure and I said July, she responded, “Already? Wow.” When I think about leaving, all these faces flash in front of me—people known and those only starting to be known—and I get very sad. I knew this would happen, and I very intentionally don’t dwell on this reality.
However, you can begin praying for me, for my leaving as well as ministry preparations and loose ends here. On some levels I think ministry transitions seem the easiest of the two, although I know that’s not entirely true. I am in all honesty excited to go home, but as I said recently, “I’m ready for May, but I could deal without July,” which is about the best way I can put it.
Easter in Touquet
I’ve had several folks ask me, How was Easter with your family? There is SO much to say here, and I know I’m pretty free in sharing in this locale. But, I’ve opted to share with supporters via an imminent update more personal details than I will publish here. For the sake of protecting privacy and out of respect at this point, not wanting to make objects those whom are dear subjects, I will leave you with the following points.
American Brunch with the Prevotes
I had GREAT doors opened to me during this weekend, specifically with Olivia and Chloe. Olivia and I discussed all the way to Touquet “religion,” and I was able to hear much of her beliefs, her issues with the Catholic Church, etc. As I recounted to someone, I prayed for every moment that I could “preach Jesus” without preaching. I took every sentence captive and prayed God would make me faithful with the conversation. I also wanted her to hear my moments of pressing God and Jesus, that it is not a simple faith I have stepped into, for I heard one of her values being, It is important to know why we believe and practice how we do. Without understanding, it is meaningless. I also share this point with her and pray for continued opportunities to “preach” Jesus. If you receive the support letter, you will know t he story of Chloe. Sorry, it is a tender one but doesn’t make the public access blog cut.
On the whole, the weekend was actually difficult for me because it was the first Easter in my life when I wasn’t celebrating communally with the Church Christ’s resurrection. I repeatedly asked God to push me outwards, give me joy and help me serve in the midst of my sadness. (It also snowed on Easter, which also made me homesick for Chicago.) I was also able to use this, however, to tell JS and Olivia how different Easter is in France. “Everyone celebrates it here, everyone goes to mass and says the words…but it does nothing. Back home, it’s a party. We celebrate!”
Continue pressing prayers in for this family.
JAO Teaching
Thank you for your prayers for Saturday night. After spending the last month preparing, after revising and correcting my poor written French with my tutor and a couple others, and after much prayer, God gave me great peace in entering the evening with the knowledge that it is his Spirit who animates and communicates, even across language barriers. Listeners were gracious and together we discovered how important it is to both learn about prayer from Scripture and be reminded of how crucial it is for our lives personally, communally, and globally. I was delightfully reminded that as part of a team with Francois and Joel, we together carry the work of the evening and what a blessing that was and is—to see how we were synced over the span of the hours and in the midst of shifting plans (Our worship leader arrived late, which ended up being perfect after having been in Scriptures on prayer, to be drawn into worship from that.) What a good and gracious God we serve, and I was/am humbled to get to be a part of encouraging the saints through Scripture and teaching.
GBU Inside Scoop…I’s all good, foo’ (an expression my sister and I use meaning, “It’s all good, fool.”)
Since last I wrote in depth on GBU, we have kicked off the new semester and are going strong. We spent the first two weeks learning together how to facilitate a Bible s tudy using the inductive (OIA) Bible study method, led by Esther of GBU-Nord. Nari got us all organized with Excel spreadsheets of everyone signed up to receive our emails as well as a sign-up sheet for the semester of studies, which already has things flowing much better. My friend Zola came to share his story and encourage returning students. We were allowed to use a room at UTC for our first study, went back to the apartment for the next, and this Tuesday, a university representative is coming to check us out to see if we can be granted further permission for a room as well as becoming official. They are afraid of proselytization, which we don’t do. If they note anything about our group, I pray it will be our diversity and dynamic. Since the new semester we welcome 15-17 students give or take. Of these we are Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, a-religious, all being engaged for the evening with Scripture. I have been particularly encouraged at the wisdom and planning given to preparing studies thus far, and am excited for the opportunities before us together this semester.
As for meeting with the women, due to some personal issues, Xue had dropped off the scene but we have reconnected at her initiation and some exciting things are happening there. Continue pray as we meet on Thursdays for lunch. Although Nari and I are not meeting regularly, we are in consistent contact via email, phone calls, and conversations; she is a strong one and I pray for her personal growth and gifts to be used in the Kingdom. Corinne, Natacha, and I meet also one-on-one and these gals especially have made their home in my heart. When Natacha and I first met at the beginning of the semester, she was eager to talk—“I like to talk a lot, and I knew I could talk to you.” Two hours later…☺ Corinne is a tender one with a sensitive spirit and I pray God’s guidance and protection and presence over her constantly. I think she is making some life choices as a direct result of her spiritual growth that are difficult but necessary. I don’t know details, but God is moving in her and growing her in assuredness. The three of us also started swimming lessons yesterday. When Natacha found out I was a swim instructor she nearly fell over in glee. Turns out neither of them know how to swim, but we will fix that soon enough!
What’s up at L’Arche?
I go into L’Arche every day for a few hours, and continually I find they entrust me with activities. My time there has allowed me insights into several various and difficult areas for a mission worker to understand—working in France; Catholicism; social services; city/Compiegne community. Through each of these aspects I have found my time at L’Arche to serve me in almost all other areas of my living and being here. It is quite the joy and gift to go there every day, and more often than not I find I need them more than they probably need me. L’Arche represents on the whole a rather (although not entirely) believing and practicing Catholic community, open to the likes of me and others. The Tuesday after Easter during prayer and share time, I nearly lost it as Francis recounted how we have hope in Jesus’ life as Christians after Easter and when Benedicte shared that for her after Easter is the beginning of a new spiritual year. Valerie encouraged me when I shared briefly about talking with Chloe over Easter weekend—“Well, you have to because if you don’t, she might not ever be told about the resurrection.” Our decoration group continues to go well and it appears that I am in charge of salad and dessert shopping needs for Tuesday lunch. As well, Chantal and I have begun to work on a new mosaic hot pad together. She has Down’s Syndrome and cannot see well at all, so I am experimenting with how to create a “puzzle” form out of the mosaic so she can create more complicated items. We work very well together and I love this!
Decoration group creating Easter cookies, with my Grandmommy's sugar cookie recipe!
However, I am also going to talk to Francis about decreasing my hours at L’Arche by one day per week. I have fallen behind in other areas here, as well as on the whole being less organized than I usually am, not good for all that’s before me between now and July. As I have met more students at UTC and there is more work with GBU students to do, I want to shift my energies there in my remaining months. Thus, the time shift away from L’Arche.
A sad note to add on L’Arche. Sabine, one of my favorite individuals who comes daily to the workshop, was crossing the street going home on Good Friday. She normally comes and goes alone, but she also has tendencies to lock into tunnel vision. This must have been one of those times, because she did not look before she crossed and was hit by an oncoming car. All of us who work with her were there and were able to be present at the scene. Needless to say, it was quite the shock and not the most pleasant way to begin Easter weekend. She suffered multiple broken bones and will not be able to move for several weeks due to a broken pelvis. She is conscious and her head seems to be functioning as it was before, but pray for her healing in these upcoming weeks.
Personally Speaking—An update on the non-important yet nonetheless existent elements of my life. ☺
My desk, if it could speak, feels like an abandoned child. My apartment is in dire need of a scrub down and a grocery store trip is, uh, way overdue. I’ve drunk more caffeine the last two weeks than I have since A quad 2nd semester senior year. I haven’t read for pleasure in a long time (although I did start a book over Easter; remains to be seen if I’ll pick it back up). I recently told my mother that I’m homesick for Waco, to which she responded, Whoa, haven’t heard that in 5 years! I need to buy 3 airfare tickets, all in a span of three weeks and I’m behind in general in looking ahead on the calendar. I’m out of Nutella, which I thought I would never do, finish the jar. But somehow, that bread and chocolate combo they eat here has gotten into my system. My neighbor bought me a new bike to “borrow” until I leave in July after I stupidly threw away an old handle part that is hard to find on my vintage French bike.
Not Yet, But Soon
Although I do not leave until July, the time is passing too quickly. I will be in the states (though sadly neither in Texas or Chicago) for a good part of May for my sister’s graduation and art show and a friend’s wedding. Knowing that May is limited in my time here and that when I return, June will fly, I’ve already entered that “don’t really think about it yet but start preparing” emotional mode. Ministry-wise, there is some transition work to do before I depart from GBU and JAO. Personally, I’m going to be a complete mess. I miss home in many ways—church in Waco and Chicago; living with people; family; hugs; friends that are easily reached via telephone and it doesn’t take two weeks to figure out connecting; speaking English and laughing a lot; Tex-Mex, bbq, and deep dish pizza ☺. But in some ways those are all pretty selfish. When Mahina inquired as to my departure and I said July, she responded, “Already? Wow.” When I think about leaving, all these faces flash in front of me—people known and those only starting to be known—and I get very sad. I knew this would happen, and I very intentionally don’t dwell on this reality.
However, you can begin praying for me, for my leaving as well as ministry preparations and loose ends here. On some levels I think ministry transitions seem the easiest of the two, although I know that’s not entirely true. I am in all honesty excited to go home, but as I said recently, “I’m ready for May, but I could deal without July,” which is about the best way I can put it.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Prayer reminder
Hello. I promise I'll get a longer update in. There is SO much...the mammoth Sunday edition will hopefully make its appearance.
However, please remember to pray for tomorrow evening, March 29th at 8pm, which is between 5 and 9 hours later than most places in the states. I'll be teaching on prayer for the JAO group. Pray that the Spirit would animate my words across the language limits and that a spirit of prayer would be encouraged and sparked by both the teaching and gathering together in prayer afterward. I'll paste in the outline below (in French for them to take notes) so you can pray through the different Scripture points.
I. L’introduction
II. L’Ancien Testament
A. Moise [Exode 33:1-23]
B. Anne [I Samuel 1: 1-20]
C. Ezekias [II Rois 18:3-8; II Rois 18: 26-37; II Rois 19 :14-19 ; II Rois 19:20; 32-37]
D. David [Psaume 51]
III. Jesus
A. L’enseignement [Luc 11:1-13]
B. L’exemple [Jean 17]
C. L’habitude [Luc 6:12-16; Matthieu 14: 22-24; Marc 1: 35-39]
IV. La Conclusion
Pray specifically for our time after teaching as I help facilitate prayer together.
However, please remember to pray for tomorrow evening, March 29th at 8pm, which is between 5 and 9 hours later than most places in the states. I'll be teaching on prayer for the JAO group. Pray that the Spirit would animate my words across the language limits and that a spirit of prayer would be encouraged and sparked by both the teaching and gathering together in prayer afterward. I'll paste in the outline below (in French for them to take notes) so you can pray through the different Scripture points.
I. L’introduction
II. L’Ancien Testament
A. Moise [Exode 33:1-23]
B. Anne [I Samuel 1: 1-20]
C. Ezekias [II Rois 18:3-8; II Rois 18: 26-37; II Rois 19 :14-19 ; II Rois 19:20; 32-37]
D. David [Psaume 51]
III. Jesus
A. L’enseignement [Luc 11:1-13]
B. L’exemple [Jean 17]
C. L’habitude [Luc 6:12-16; Matthieu 14: 22-24; Marc 1: 35-39]
IV. La Conclusion
Pray specifically for our time after teaching as I help facilitate prayer together.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Passion World Tour in Paris
Official Passion Conference Website
Christianity Today, April 2007--The Passion World Tour Vision
Passion Conference Blog
Buy Passion CDS, books, and more here
Order more here
Passion Worship Conferences are making a world tour, stopping in Paris, France June 3, 2008. I'm helping get the word out in the L'Oise area. Join me and others in our prayers that God will use this event, traverse culture by the power of his Holy Spirit, and encourage and ignite a love of worshiping His Greatness through the testimony of song and teaching in the land of France.
May the university population of France have spirits quickened for the glory of God come down, made manifest in their worship of God, love for his people and good works in his world that those who live without joy and hope may know the depth and breadth of his embrace.
More information to follow.
Christianity Today, April 2007--The Passion World Tour Vision
Passion Conference Blog
Buy Passion CDS, books, and more here
Order more here
Passion Worship Conferences are making a world tour, stopping in Paris, France June 3, 2008. I'm helping get the word out in the L'Oise area. Join me and others in our prayers that God will use this event, traverse culture by the power of his Holy Spirit, and encourage and ignite a love of worshiping His Greatness through the testimony of song and teaching in the land of France.
May the university population of France have spirits quickened for the glory of God come down, made manifest in their worship of God, love for his people and good works in his world that those who live without joy and hope may know the depth and breadth of his embrace.
More information to follow.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Ye of Little Faith
I was recently asked, “Is that the first thing you’ve received by faith?” by a friend after recounting a story of how I waited and waited for a pair of shoes to go on final markdown. (In the midst of the sale at one point, I was told there were no more of this shoe left. I returned to later to find a pair, in my size. Thus my elation!) It was an issue and purchase from the beginning I felt I needed to wait and pray on, and to trust and have faith. To my friend’s question, I thought nothing of it. “No, my whole life is a product of faith. Not the first…,” I responded, brushing it off and thinking nothing of the question again. Until today.
GBU students set up an informational stand for the student activity kick-off this morning. Replete with speakers and music, books, a band-dessine (adult cartoon book), sign-up sheet, and informational posters, students rotate throughout the day sitting at the table offering information to all who pass. I dropped by after lunch to visit with Corinne and bring some candies to pass out. Nari was all smiles engaging students as they passed. Natacha skipped back and forth from Mozaik’s (African student group) table and GBU, introducing students to both. Corinne munched her lunch and invited passing students to sign up for emails and explained more what the group is. Clement discussed the band-dessine with passing students and another Clement arrived as I was leaving. Nari took the information of the Catholic student group’s representatives so we can hopefully organize a joint activity at some point this semester. Armel (do you remember him from camp? he’s back!) dropped by to check in between classes and say hello. The sign up sheet was filled on the front and new names were being added to the back. This all happened in the course of a little over an hour.
Several students, one in particular, showed little interest when they realized what we were. In their eyes I could see avoidance. Others were more open to hearing what students had to say, even though in the end they said it really didn’t interest them “but thanks.” Still others listened well and decided, sure, I’ll sign up. One young student Nari spoke with particularly struck me. He and two friends arrived for the Mozaik table but not before ever bubbly outgoing Nari asked if they were interested in signing up on the email list. She looked at one student asking, as he seemed to not be too engaged, “Are you Muslim?” He was and as she responded, “you’re welcome to come,” and he reached for the Bible. He flipped through it with his friend and turned to Nari, “I’ll sign up, this interests me.”
Between the fearful faces, the hesitant, the disinterested or curious, the open, the warm and friendly, I sat in my chair struck by two realities. One, the GBU students have no choice but to be bold in their sharing and faith. Absolutely every GBU student I saw interacted verbally with students passing, friends or unknown, and kindly and openly invited any and all. I went to Wheaton College, a small, Christian liberal arts school, and I LOVED every minute there and don’t for one minute wish it to be different. I don’t think I would be in France in my current capacity if it weren’t for Wheaton. But there are moments, such as this one today, when I wish during those four years I would have had more need and press to be bold in my faith as these students. Their circumstances have equipped them in a way mine did not. Two, I lack faith and I cannot honestly say that I have trusted in God to provide by faith the way my friend asked of me earlier or the way I see these students being bold in their simply inviting. As the particular Muslim student flipped through the Bible then said “this interests me,” I started praying for all the names on the sign-up sheet, that GBU students would be blessed to see God move and call their friends to himself.
As I walked home I kept praying and turned after to reflecting on what I had prayed. Lord, do I really trust that indeed you can deliver on what I and others am asking? Do I have faith that the young man looking at the Bible might one day be your son? Do I have faith not to just entrust others to you but to keep coming back asking for them? (Luke 11:5-13)
I further thought on how the Enlightenment in all of its splendor (note smidgen of sarcasm) has rendered much of France skeptical and fearful of anything out of the box. I recalled the cartoon of a blind man walking with a stick saying, “I only believe in what I can see.” I thought about our human need for proof and reason and how even the most illogical folk, i.e., French, demand it to believe in anything. Then I thought about myself. I’m a disciple of Jesus. I believe his life and words mean something more than just a good way to live. I pray fervently and often. But I lack faith. I don’t honestly believe in the way of bold faith that Scripture and Christ’s life calls me to do. Did my shoes excite me only because I saw God provide out of faith and prayers, or because I never go out on a limb to have the kind of faith that they required? Do I have faith in my prayers, through incessant pounding on God’s door, in how I wait and trust, in bold words I speak, in releasing that which I know God, and not I, is doing?
Recently I’ve been spending my devotional time in Isaiah, which I think is perhaps my favorite book of the Old Testament book. It does wonders for blowing the top off of God, off of how we envision nations called to him, off of how the Israelites imagined their Jesus would come, off of the Gospel, redemption, justice, and grace. I have a nice theological treatise formed in my head from all of this and it really is—it’s nice. I can handle it in my heart and in my head. It challenges me in who I see God to be and how I see his world. Problem is, “nice” doesn’t get anything done. “Nice” does not transform my sweet prayers into persistent, loud, annoying, I’m not leaving until you give me what I’m asking for knocking. “Nice” doesn’t flip my vision of each and every human being and soul and broken system upside down and see them as beloved daughters and sons and restored. “Nice” keeps me safe as well as them. Try as hard as I might to not live or think in terms of a humanly boxed God, here he goes again, showing me that indeed I have boxed him and his ways in and that my faith needs some stretching. My friend was right to ask, “Is that the first thing you’ve received by faith?” While it’s not, I cannot honestly my faith is as strong as I would like to think it.
With all of this rolling around in my head, I came home and directly went the first two places I often go—Bible and music. John 1:1-18 always proves helpful for me. In particular today I noted, “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”; “the true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world”; “he came to his own, and his own people did not receive him, but to all who did receive him…he gave the right to become children of God.” I turned to Grits and their song Believe and prayed through the truths they sing—
“…It’s hard to conceive
What the mind can’t comprehend
And harder to believe
What the eyes can't understand
We look to theory, philosophies and thought
For a sure foundation
In a belief we once sought
While the shadow of truth
Cast an image so clear
The closer it gets
We reject it out of fear
If we really wanted truth
We would give our lives for it
Walk in its direction of light…”
I may not be a science-oriented, show me the proof or else type of person. I may also not be the most skeptical or visionless because I was born optimistic. I may not be turning from the GBU table in disinterest or mistrust. But perhaps my prayers and actions resemble them just the same. Too soft. Too safe. Too doable. Too manageable. See, I think God wants the unmanageable and is challenging me personally to come to him and go out in faith, trusting that in fact, he can do the unthinkable. I think he also wants his welcome mat worn out with my scrubby (new ☺) shoe prints. I really believe he sees every person on this globe as he saw unfaithful Israel in the book Hosea, as Ruhama (“she has received mercy”) and Ammi (“my people”); but he’s waiting for his people to do something about it! Throughout Scripture we see patterns of God, yes God, wrestling with his own judgments and punishments, with his hunger for righteousness but his simultaneous acquiescence to love. (If there ever was one to throw a curve ball, it’s Yahweh.) And in the midst, he plants his people, individuals and those he has gathered, to come to him and remind him of his promises. It’s not that he’s forgetful. It’s not that he is doesn’t know how to make up his mind. It’s that this non-laissez-faire God has placed within his regulated spiritual economy free agents called to live and act by faith, in their prayers, in their being wed to a prostitute, in their pleading as David, do not forget me or turn away, in trusting that there is a High Priest interceding and a Holy Spirit turning our illogical prayers into done deals. Do I have the faith then, to join with the witness of Scripture and history, to ask, nay, demand his opening rigid minds and chilled hearts to his liberating love? I think that’s what France needs, at least here in Compiegne. Perhaps it is the least God would do.
Pray as I grow in faith and learn to pound the door.
GBU students set up an informational stand for the student activity kick-off this morning. Replete with speakers and music, books, a band-dessine (adult cartoon book), sign-up sheet, and informational posters, students rotate throughout the day sitting at the table offering information to all who pass. I dropped by after lunch to visit with Corinne and bring some candies to pass out. Nari was all smiles engaging students as they passed. Natacha skipped back and forth from Mozaik’s (African student group) table and GBU, introducing students to both. Corinne munched her lunch and invited passing students to sign up for emails and explained more what the group is. Clement discussed the band-dessine with passing students and another Clement arrived as I was leaving. Nari took the information of the Catholic student group’s representatives so we can hopefully organize a joint activity at some point this semester. Armel (do you remember him from camp? he’s back!) dropped by to check in between classes and say hello. The sign up sheet was filled on the front and new names were being added to the back. This all happened in the course of a little over an hour.
Several students, one in particular, showed little interest when they realized what we were. In their eyes I could see avoidance. Others were more open to hearing what students had to say, even though in the end they said it really didn’t interest them “but thanks.” Still others listened well and decided, sure, I’ll sign up. One young student Nari spoke with particularly struck me. He and two friends arrived for the Mozaik table but not before ever bubbly outgoing Nari asked if they were interested in signing up on the email list. She looked at one student asking, as he seemed to not be too engaged, “Are you Muslim?” He was and as she responded, “you’re welcome to come,” and he reached for the Bible. He flipped through it with his friend and turned to Nari, “I’ll sign up, this interests me.”
Between the fearful faces, the hesitant, the disinterested or curious, the open, the warm and friendly, I sat in my chair struck by two realities. One, the GBU students have no choice but to be bold in their sharing and faith. Absolutely every GBU student I saw interacted verbally with students passing, friends or unknown, and kindly and openly invited any and all. I went to Wheaton College, a small, Christian liberal arts school, and I LOVED every minute there and don’t for one minute wish it to be different. I don’t think I would be in France in my current capacity if it weren’t for Wheaton. But there are moments, such as this one today, when I wish during those four years I would have had more need and press to be bold in my faith as these students. Their circumstances have equipped them in a way mine did not. Two, I lack faith and I cannot honestly say that I have trusted in God to provide by faith the way my friend asked of me earlier or the way I see these students being bold in their simply inviting. As the particular Muslim student flipped through the Bible then said “this interests me,” I started praying for all the names on the sign-up sheet, that GBU students would be blessed to see God move and call their friends to himself.
As I walked home I kept praying and turned after to reflecting on what I had prayed. Lord, do I really trust that indeed you can deliver on what I and others am asking? Do I have faith that the young man looking at the Bible might one day be your son? Do I have faith not to just entrust others to you but to keep coming back asking for them? (Luke 11:5-13)
I further thought on how the Enlightenment in all of its splendor (note smidgen of sarcasm) has rendered much of France skeptical and fearful of anything out of the box. I recalled the cartoon of a blind man walking with a stick saying, “I only believe in what I can see.” I thought about our human need for proof and reason and how even the most illogical folk, i.e., French, demand it to believe in anything. Then I thought about myself. I’m a disciple of Jesus. I believe his life and words mean something more than just a good way to live. I pray fervently and often. But I lack faith. I don’t honestly believe in the way of bold faith that Scripture and Christ’s life calls me to do. Did my shoes excite me only because I saw God provide out of faith and prayers, or because I never go out on a limb to have the kind of faith that they required? Do I have faith in my prayers, through incessant pounding on God’s door, in how I wait and trust, in bold words I speak, in releasing that which I know God, and not I, is doing?
Recently I’ve been spending my devotional time in Isaiah, which I think is perhaps my favorite book of the Old Testament book. It does wonders for blowing the top off of God, off of how we envision nations called to him, off of how the Israelites imagined their Jesus would come, off of the Gospel, redemption, justice, and grace. I have a nice theological treatise formed in my head from all of this and it really is—it’s nice. I can handle it in my heart and in my head. It challenges me in who I see God to be and how I see his world. Problem is, “nice” doesn’t get anything done. “Nice” does not transform my sweet prayers into persistent, loud, annoying, I’m not leaving until you give me what I’m asking for knocking. “Nice” doesn’t flip my vision of each and every human being and soul and broken system upside down and see them as beloved daughters and sons and restored. “Nice” keeps me safe as well as them. Try as hard as I might to not live or think in terms of a humanly boxed God, here he goes again, showing me that indeed I have boxed him and his ways in and that my faith needs some stretching. My friend was right to ask, “Is that the first thing you’ve received by faith?” While it’s not, I cannot honestly my faith is as strong as I would like to think it.
With all of this rolling around in my head, I came home and directly went the first two places I often go—Bible and music. John 1:1-18 always proves helpful for me. In particular today I noted, “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”; “the true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world”; “he came to his own, and his own people did not receive him, but to all who did receive him…he gave the right to become children of God.” I turned to Grits and their song Believe and prayed through the truths they sing—
“…It’s hard to conceive
What the mind can’t comprehend
And harder to believe
What the eyes can't understand
We look to theory, philosophies and thought
For a sure foundation
In a belief we once sought
While the shadow of truth
Cast an image so clear
The closer it gets
We reject it out of fear
If we really wanted truth
We would give our lives for it
Walk in its direction of light…”
I may not be a science-oriented, show me the proof or else type of person. I may also not be the most skeptical or visionless because I was born optimistic. I may not be turning from the GBU table in disinterest or mistrust. But perhaps my prayers and actions resemble them just the same. Too soft. Too safe. Too doable. Too manageable. See, I think God wants the unmanageable and is challenging me personally to come to him and go out in faith, trusting that in fact, he can do the unthinkable. I think he also wants his welcome mat worn out with my scrubby (new ☺) shoe prints. I really believe he sees every person on this globe as he saw unfaithful Israel in the book Hosea, as Ruhama (“she has received mercy”) and Ammi (“my people”); but he’s waiting for his people to do something about it! Throughout Scripture we see patterns of God, yes God, wrestling with his own judgments and punishments, with his hunger for righteousness but his simultaneous acquiescence to love. (If there ever was one to throw a curve ball, it’s Yahweh.) And in the midst, he plants his people, individuals and those he has gathered, to come to him and remind him of his promises. It’s not that he’s forgetful. It’s not that he is doesn’t know how to make up his mind. It’s that this non-laissez-faire God has placed within his regulated spiritual economy free agents called to live and act by faith, in their prayers, in their being wed to a prostitute, in their pleading as David, do not forget me or turn away, in trusting that there is a High Priest interceding and a Holy Spirit turning our illogical prayers into done deals. Do I have the faith then, to join with the witness of Scripture and history, to ask, nay, demand his opening rigid minds and chilled hearts to his liberating love? I think that’s what France needs, at least here in Compiegne. Perhaps it is the least God would do.
Pray as I grow in faith and learn to pound the door.
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