Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Spinning Head

I've been working a good part of this afternoon and a chunk of yesterday on this week's French homework assignment with Madame Bataille--a Protestant view and use of Scripture. And I laugh, as if there is only "one" to explain. I am doing a bit of reading in various reliable sources as I can find them and wishing deeply for a library, my books back home, and more books. Oh, and endless hours to read, write, rewrite, and organize. I am also wishing for fluency in the French language; but alas, that's what this exercise is supposed to help me toward. Upon review and correction of my paper, Madame Bataille is going to talk to me about the Catholic use of Scripture as well as their beliefs concerning Mary. I am excited!

She and I have had some excellent conversations recently about Catholic practices and thought as well as her being curious to pick a Protestant's brain about ours. Oh la la. So after submitting a brief and not very thorough outline of some key Reformation figures and thoughts last week, I offered, Why don't I write out an explanation of the use of Scripture in the Protestant tradition. Again, I laugh because there are so many traditions it is hard to pin it down to best explain. I find myself adding caveats for understanding, which I am sure she will pick apart and say as is typical, Oh, it is all so confusing, this Protestantism. I am inclined to agree, committed Protestant though I am.

In all of these conversations, I have to walk a very fine line of 1) not knowing the ins and outs of Catholicism as a Catholic so wanting to learn from her, 2) wanting to articulate Protestantism well and faithfully without stepping on equally faithful Catholic toes, 3) acknowledging the areas that do truly overlap where we find unity. As I write about Scripture today, I find it increasingly important to place almost each sentence of what I write in historical context, as the Catholic church of today is not the Catholic church of Luther's time. The country of France today is not the France of Calvin's time. This is incredibly important for communicating rightly the tenets and the shortcomings of Protestantism as it was created and as it exists now.

As we talk, it is easy for me to see where works-righteousness can lead if a solid doctrine of justification is not introduced. It is easy for her to see where a lack of authority structures can lead in terms of an individualistic rendering of faith and practice. At the same time, Madame Bataille and I find that many of the practical edges of our faith overlap. Good works should accompany a faith in Christ. Chastity cultivates faithfulness in marriage. Abortion and capital punishment substantially reduce the value of life. Discernment in the context of community (or the priesthood for her) should be hallmarks of how Christians make decisions. These things and more we have alighted on.

You can see, my French tutoring sessions have become a theological highlight of every week. I live for these dialogues and moments, and oh by the way, I'm learning French. Madame Bataille is adamant about pronunciation, the flow of language, and developing a rich vocabulary. For this I am all very grateful. Must get back to it now but just needed a mental break and thought readers would appreciate a French lesson glimpse.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Coming Together 2: Lessons in Reconciliation

If Confrontation is my first name, then Reconciliation is my second. Since I was four I’ve been stepping into the middle of fights--physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual. My “life verse” (because every good Baptist learns to pick a life verse) when I was a child was Matthew 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” My parents fought quite a bit, really since I can remember having memories, and I could not stand it. When I thought someone might get hurt or when the shouting became too unbearable, I usually went in to break it up. How successful my attempts were I don’t know, but I always stuck around until someone left the house or went to another room. I figured they might hurt one another, but surely a child in their midst would tame the violence to manageable levels. My dad also tells me that in Sunday school, he watched me one time “mediate a conflict” over a toy between my two best friends. Apparently, I suggested how they might share the toy over different segments of time and found another toy for the one sharing to play with. In high school I was that friend who brought a certain element of objectivity, harsh or loving, to most conflicts between my group of girl friends. My general philosophy of confrontation and reconciliation was, If we can all take a few steps back from the issue and grow up, we’ll see this is not that big of a deal and really, we should get along. With time, prayer became an area of conflict I stepped into, a habit through which I saw the actual work of reconciliation on many levels accomplished. During college, in both personal and corporate venues, confrontation and reconciliation had to be part of my daily life. Within the last two and a half years, I have also tiptoed into racial reconciliation and I am immeasurably grateful to the Servant Leadership School and the Mennonite Central Committee’s Damascus Road Project for my initial formation. It is an overwhelming work, and I don’t really “do” anything within structures right now except to pray and hear different voices rising.

But I was surprised to find myself yesterday in the midst of another form of reconciliation. We were gathered in our large circle for weekly prayer and share at Moulin. Valerie had come to search for me in the bathroom and told me, “Francis is about to start prayer,” which I found odd since usually I’m not there at the beginning as I’m finishing cleaning the kitchen. I slip in as it’s going. However, I understood her coming to look for me as Francis began. He said, “Today we are going to pray for unity in the Church. This is the week of unity.” Then he looked at me, “Let’s pray for Jennifer’s church…Jennifer, you are Baptist?” I clarified that I attended the Baptist church here but was not myself Baptist, I was Protestant and being an American Protestant was complicated to explain. He understood, nodding, “There are many sorts in the U.S.” Then I added to help clear the ambiguity of “Protestant,” “I’m evangelical,” which is helpful here to say. All that to say, he wanted to pray for the Baptist church here, my church back home, for all the churches. Francis continued, “The important thing is, we all believe Jesus. We are all the Church. We are all needed. Each one.” Then he added, “Let’s also give thanks for Jennifer, for her help at Moulin.” I must now here add, serving at L’Arche is a challenge. Language aside, it’s a French work environment and communication is not the same as the states. I also have no idea what I’m doing most of the time except trying to be useful. More often than not I wonder if they think I’m just taking up space and in the way. That Francis would so pointedly pray for me almost made me cry.

And as we prayed I felt this new and heavy although good burden as I serve at L’Arche. I am not there just as Jennifer. It’s weird, more than even being a representative of Jesus almost, I am there as a Protestant. I am there as an attendee of the Compiegne Baptist church (I am often introduced as “she comes from the Baptist church” at which folks usually raise their eyebrows.). I am there as an agent, a minister, of reconciliation. I don’t think I had seen that before. I don’t think I had felt that before. Even as an American, I don’t think it’s too bold to say, I in some ways do and will give testimony to the Protestant witness in the L’Oise, a heavily culturally and practicing Catholic population yet one nonetheless considered the least-churched. Francis prayed and I sat considering what in a sense newly lies before me. I am not at Moulin to “convert” people into Protestants. I respect Catholicism too much and Protestantism too much for that. I also love Jesus too much for that. However, I am there, now I see, to work across lines. In my head, my time at L’Arche has always been configured to serve a group of people often forgotten, and let me be honest and say, also difficult. I’m supposed to be learning how to do this and at the same time learning from folks there. And yes, that is a significant part of it. But I think now I see a larger picture of why I’m at L’Arche. While many of my hours are committed to walking with others as they are reconciled to God through Jesus, at L’Arche I have been called into the work of reconciling “persons to persons.” I’m not doing it alone, no way, but in an open yet mostly Catholic environment, I’m definitely an odd duck. They could care less what faith I am, but if I say I’m one or another, an appropriate burden accompanies such a confession.

I remember the day my senior year when Dr. Setran wrote a diagram on the board during my History and Philosophy of Christian Education class. He delineated out the different areas of severed relationships that occurred with the Fall—God and persons; person with self; persons and creation; person (s) and person (s). He also discussed how ministry means and objectives should first and foremost be about healing those divides. I think that was the moment I knew, that wherever my life trajectory took me, I would always have to be about the work of mending severances. To use a more familiar phrase, I was called into the “ministry of reconciliation.” My childhood and youth formed me in many ways for this work. Although hard and I would never wish my earliest memories on anyone, I can see their holy purposes. That is the gift, I think, of God’s grace washing over all that was intended for evil. For what Satan meant for evil, God instead looked forward and saw Compiegne. He saw Moulin. He saw this week. And he said, No, indeed, I have come to make all things good.

I ask for your prayers as I and others seek that goodness. Each needed. All together.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Coming Together

This weekend commenced a week of celebrating 100 years of ecumenicism in Compiegne. Having been particularly reflective on this subject for the past couple of months, the following came to me and I felt it right to post here.

During my senior year at historically protestant Wheaton College, philosophy professor Dr. Joshua Hochschild was released from his teaching position upon his ecclesiastical move to Catholicism. His departure was controversial on many sides, and among my peer group, many of whom were his students at one point or another, we continue to talk out and debate the issue.

Why am I writing about this on my blog about life and ministry in France? For the following reason: Do not EVER EVER try to explain why a Christian college in America released a Catholic from teaching in its classrooms to a devout believing French Catholic like say, Madame Bataille, my tutor. At first she thought she did not understand me. I repeated it in English (this was the end of our lesson and we were both standing to go). Her face blanked in disbelief as I said, “C’est dommage [it’s sad], we are the Church, we are supposed to be…” at which she completed, “unified.”

I have many things to learn here in France and about the Church in general. My lessons have only just begun and what I can do now is have conversations, ask questions, and observe. But my thought after today and some observation up until now is this: Though sadly splintered along many Protestant lines, perhaps the church in America cannot see yet the importance, the need, the requirement to work across historical ecclesiastical divides. Its churches are still filled on Sundays. For the most part we like to think those who say they are Christian believe and practice. Faith plays a public political role in such a way that we cannot imagine our national fabric woven without it.

Let us recall, however, the following: In every small French town stands a minimum of one large Catholic church. Paris is famous for its churches and a wonderful philosophy and practice of worship inspired construction of Gothic cathedrals peppering the French landscape. And these churches were indeed used. Faith had a public role too. Kings and Popes worked together and so intertwined was the Church and the Kingdom that where one ended and one began, they are still sorting out.

Yet today when asked if someone believes in God or is a Catholic several varying responses will be given: “We believe in God but we do not talk about him.” “Catholic? Well, sort of, not really, my grandmothers used to teach the children in my town prayers so we have that history.” “God, I have not thought about it.”

France is living perhaps a history many Americans cannot fathom. The faithful Catholics, and Protestants too, here know well what is at stake for both themselves and if they cannot collaborate on some levels. When discussing an upcoming ecumenical event with a member of the Baptist Compiegne church, he said, “Many from this church, L’ABEJ (social service) and L’Arche participate,” with a smile on his face proud to relay that good news. I wondered at his confident smile, for if one is a faithful American evangelical committed to ecumenical ways, it is with care and finesse at times one must traverse these worlds so as to play the game of being religiously divided but equal.

Does ecumenicism have its drawbacks, negative affects, uncharted territories, theological quandaries? I’d be looking at the Church world with those beautifully rose-tinted glasses if I said it didn’t. Yes, it is a world and a work to carefully enter, for indeed within Protestantism and Catholicism lie tenets quite incompatible and not able to be bridged, if one is to practice Protestant Christianity or Catholic Christianity with integrity. But it is a ministry the Church, American or French or anywhere else, must be about. I am saddened by Madame Bataille’s shocked face. And I am humbled. There’s an old song I like that says, “What have we become, self-indulgent people? What have we become, tell me where are the righteous ones?” I point the finger at myself. I am self-indulgent and too eager at times to come preaching Protestantism over Jesus. I am unrighteous and too often see the great gifts and accomplishments of the American church (for in honesty there are many) than the work we have to do.

Carefully forward, yes, but let us become pupils today of our brothers and sisters in France. I’ll be the first to admit I’m an idealist living in a realist world. But when it comes to the Church, to the ministry of reconciliation, to the mission of the Gospel, I pray we all can be as dismayed as my tutor was. Is she Catholic? Yes. Am I Protestant? Yes. Theological differences? Definitely. But we have Jesus, and in humility and grace we must walk forward together, for his Kingdom is coming.


Further reading:
Wall Street Journal article on Hochschild
First Things response to WSJ article
Books and Culture article on Hochschild
Wheaton College Statement of Faith
Book recommendation--Is the Reformation Over?
Book recommendation by Madame Bataille--Rome Sweet Home

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Looking for an Au Pair

I forgot this--my host family the Prevotes are looking for an au pair, preferably a young female, for their three kids, mostly to help with the baby. An English speaker with French abilities is ideal. Please leave me a comment if you or anyone you know would be interested and I will get in touch. They would love someone right away but if that's not possible, whenever someone could start, great! Trust me, it's a great deal but I can give more details if you're interested.

Thanks...and please pray that we find someone.

NPR-style

Recently I started listening to parts of NPR podcasts in the morning. I never get through an entire podcast but the snippets I catch keep me a little more in touch with what’s going on back home. Between music and politics (elections!!!) there is always so much to learn. BUT ALSO, it has provided new inspiration for the blog. I’ve put my own spin on the content. Enjoy!

Weekend Edition Sunday
Thad and Joy McAuley and I spent Tuesday afternoon together in prayer during GEM’s Day of Prayer for Europe and broke the day’s fast together over a delicious bowl of potato soup. We prayed for the country of France, the church Thad and Joy serve here, ministry with students in GBU, and pastoral leadership. Ephesians 3:14-21 specifically has become my prayer for students here.

Life at Moulin (L’Arche) returned to normal on January 3rd and each day brings a new set of lessons to learn and praises to give. During prayer and share time on Tuesday morning, Francois, Moulin director, invited us all to consider the text of I John 3 and 4 for the year to come. Reflectively he encouraged all gathered to see God’s love for us as personal. He turned to Delphine and said, “God’s love for you has a different face than his love for Gerard,” as he turned to speak to him. Having just the night before read through I John and having been praying specifically for love for the French people, Francois’ word was particularly pointed as I consider ministry opportunities here.

I have begun meeting with two French tutors weekly—one for writing and pronunciation and another for conversation. Already I have seen the significant aid these two women have given as I become much more thoughtful and pointed with phrases and grammatical constructions I use in conversation. As Madame Bataille said during our first meeting before Christmas, “Oh! You have 7 months left here. We have time to do marvelous things in French.” She speaks often of the need to practice a high level of French and to understand it as a musical language without logic. Although difficult and tiring, I love learning it more exactly!

The community of L’Arche gathered this Thursday afternoon as it does once monthly for the Reunion Generale, basically a meeting for everyone who works in a branch of L’Arche. This was my first Reunion to attend and I have made it a goal to attend for the rest of my time here. More to come on L’Arche in another post…

GBU began 2008 as Sylvaine, one of the freshmen who is very engaged in his faith and church here and back home, led us in a meditation on God’s blessings. We then completed our time in prayer. Although we are not allowed to meet at the university, which at times can be discouraging, it provides us freedom to pray and worship, a trade-off I find particularly okay with which to deal. One of the questioning students who comes regularly was not present, which offered an opportunity for one student to suggest we all pull money together and buy her a Bible. She has a New Testament but not a complete one. As I sat there and listened, I thought, wow, God is moving in France. No one tell me otherwise.

JAO’s local Bible study gathered Friday night for a meal and study of Hebrews 4. The group was small, composed of six people, but the time together over dinner, during Bible study, and in prayer was rich. At one point our hostess for the evening Marie turned to Angelique upon regarding the clock and asked if the hour was okay (at 11pm we were only then commencing the study), did she need to go. Angelique murmured back, “It’s a good moment together. Don’t really want to rush it/leave it.” In that spirit our study began and prayer and sharing concluded the evening about 2:15 a.m.

All Songs Considered
On Saturday, January 12, 2008, the Eglise Baptiste de Compiegne (the church I attend) hosted Nicolas Farelly of Forum Culturel Protestant (check out new links to the right) for a conference entitled “L’Evangile au risque de la culture.” Farelly discussed the relationship of Christians to popular culture and how to think about and interact with it. When asked during the Q&A what his thoughts on Christian popular culture were, he admitted in general he found it to be poorly imitating what was being done well in secular popular culture. I laughed, however, when he referenced such artists as Over the Rhine, Pedro the Lion, and Sufjan Stevens as being Christian artists who have made significant good contributions within pop culture as Christians and have at the same time garnered a secular following. These are all American groups, their sort of which is missing in France.

I invited one of the French students in GBU to the event, as I knew it would provide a thoughtful and well-organized time of teaching but would not involve the sometimes deterring setting of a Sunday morning church service. This student in particular asks fantastic questions of Scripture and she definitely has a mind that is seeking to understand the Christian faith and the words of Scripture and Jesus. Thankfully this conference did indeed spark good conversation as we biked around together afterwards. I am thankful to the Compiegne church for being the kind that offers such events and for providing the occasion outside of GBU for teaching.

Fresh Air
In other developments this week, I joined my neighbor Vincent and a friend of his for dinner at Le Palais Gourmand; four hours later I arrived home. He invited us as “a gift for the New Year.” He has been inviting me for coffee, tea, or a meal since we first met a couple months ago upon his relocation to Compiegne. But somehow the idea of dinner with a 40-something divorcee just has had no appeal, as with language and cultural barriers I couldn’t quite discern his intentions. As a friend told me sarcastically, “But you could be Jesus to him.” And that is where wisdom in ministry and living must be exercised. So this week I decided if we had dinner once he’d stop bothering me. Well, turns out, it was all fine and dandy, intentions to be friendly and make sure I’m not alone. His friend, I forget her name, is in her mid-thirties. Vincent himself wanted to provide an opportunity for people to meet and enjoy a meal. Somehow his reference to receiving a phone call during his Zen moment in yoga class really helped calm my nerves about it all. And as he himself said upon our return to the apartment building, “This was a good way to start the New Year off. It helps to know your neighbors, although, you know, I’m not going to tell you everything about my life.” Good, glad that’s understood because I wasn’t planning on divulging mine either. In short, what I was dreading turned out to be enjoyable, refreshing, and not shady at all.

Mahina and I had dinner last night at her apartment to recount our holidays. I live a three-minute bike ride from her and she said, you know, we must really do this more often. When I told her I had been out late the night before for a Bible study she said, Wow, I just had no idea the Bible could bring people together like that. Then she asked me what I thought of the Bible! What an excellent opportunity to talk about how others and I use the Bible in for study and living. Our meals together are always “rigolo” [funny, amusing, enjoyable] as she calls them and as I ate some of her father’s homemade pate and admitted that I do love all odd French foods she said, Oh, well, in the spring you have to come home with me. We’ve got it penciled in for March.

Talk of the Nation
It appears President Sarkozy, dubbed President Bling Bling for his rather showy style, has dropped to below 50% in approval ratings as of this week. Why? Several reasons—1) He has paraded his private life, embodied in his romantic liaison with Carla Bruni, around too freely for the French liking. 2) While he was off traveling with his new love in Egypt for the holidays, back home in France workers were striking again for benefits that he promised upon election. 3) His governing (not to mention personal) style is rather American. He’s all about action and change, he is not considered to be the intellectual French value in leaders, and the French in general are concerned that with the recent rise in personal life activity, he is abandoning the priority of being their “chef.”

In French class this week, mention of President Sarkozy’s first press conference of 2008 was made. Our professor looked reasonably shocked as we commented on the question asked of him about his personal life. She said, “This is unheard of, never done before. To talk about the president’s personal life as if it’s politics!” I laughed and said, “Maybe he’s becoming too American.” She looked at me in agreement. I explained that in the states one’s political life can only be counted as acceptable so much as one’s personal life is clean and presentable along with it. In France this is not the case. As I learned this week in a couple of conversations, President Francois Mitterrand (1981-1995, some crucial years in Europe!) had an illegitimate daughter by his mistress whose life was kept a secret even though the state of France financed her life. In a veiled reference to this incident, Sarkozy this week told the press he did not wish his private life to remain a hidden and secretive, although when he and Bruni will wed he did not say, just that they are serious.

Books
1) I have begun to read Jorgen Bukdahl’s Soren Kierkegaard and the Common Man as well as Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kierkegaard, courtesy of Christmas presents. While I cannot provide reviews of either at this time, having been somewhat familiar with Kierkegaard and this thought since high school (thank you, Mrs. Sharon Mansfield), I can say this emphatically—KIERKEGAARD IS ESSENTIAL READING FOR ANY CHRISTIAN TAKING THEIR FAITH SERIOUSLY IN MATTERS NOT ONLY OF THOUGHT BUT OF LIVING AND ENGAGEMENT. I have turned to learn from him as I encounter young Christians and seeking students who desire a “big event” to grow their relationship with God or to believe Jesus. As Kierkegaard writes, “We must not support high and important things while ignoring the practical, daily stuff of life. Indeed, decision is something truly great; the life of eternity shines over decision. But the light of eternity does not shine on every decision. Decision may be once and for all; but decision itself is only the first thing…Decision gets us on our way…Decision lays its demanding hand on us from start to finish…It may well be that with great decisions others will marvel at you. All the same, you miss the one thing that is needful.” In light of such words, I am encouraged in how to speak with, pray for, and encourage the students with whom I meet. Decision is after all what “gets us on our way,” but there is an obedience and faithfulness to be cultivated in the life of the Christian. Ultimately, no intellectual or emotional reasons can bring us to Jesus; it is our need and weakness and yes, a decision to believe in such folly as grace and unconditional love that do.

2) I have read many personal memoirs on life in France and by far the best is Sarah Turnbull’s Almost French: Love and a New Life in France. Although she writes specifically of her Parisian life experiences, I find even in Compiegne her lessons in living with the French ring true. An easy and enjoyable must read!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

3:30 a.m.

It's 3:30 a.m. in Compiegne and where are you?! Me, I just got in from JAO's local Bible study which wrapped about 2:15 a.m. before I was brought back to my apartment by one of the other Compiegnoise young adults Eric. I'm more amused than anything else, thus why I'm writing this. We began around 8p.m. and 6 hours later, what do you know. An excellent time of eating (of course), Bible study, prayer, and sharing in one another's lives.

Gotta love fluid time. Gotta love France. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the alarm clock not to beep.

It's been a full week. Hopefully I can get a good post in this weekend but not making any promises. My brain is almost mush after the last two days spent between 80-100% in French; meanwhile my English mind runs with potential articles/blogs to write. Which will make it, I don't know.

Peace out.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Day of Prayer and News Article

GREATER EUROPE MISSION DAY OF PRAYER FOR EUROPE

Join Greater Europe Mission, its missionaries, supporters, and all others who long to see Jesus lifted up on the continent of Europe tomorrow, January 8th, for the Day of Prayer for Europe. GEM has provided five points around which our prayers may center and many participants are participating in a fast. I invite you to join your prayers with the prayers of the people in your home, small groups, church services, and private prayer time tomorrow and all this week. Let us focus our prayer efforts on an oft-forgotten by many but loved by Jesus corner of the world--Europe!!!

http://www.gemission.org/DayOfPrayer/DayOfPrayerDetails.asp

Please also pray for GBU as we meet together tomorrow night to kick off 2008 with a word of encouragement and prayer together for the university, fellow students, our group, and what God is doing in France.

News article
On another unrelated note, please read this article. It provided my good laugh for the day and it's why I love France, really. One minute they say a private life is a private life and no one's business when Sarkozy divorces. The next minute their President no longer "a le droit" ["has the right"--a personal favorite expression of mine I hear oh, about three times a day] to parade his private life dressed up as a pretty girlfriend around to other countries because of appearances. It's "disrespectful of the citizenry" and his girlfriend, former model now singer, "doesn't at all have the image of a first lady of France." As my French tutor said of the language so I also say of the culture, "It has no logic."

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Excerpts

Rather than try to take time to recount Christmas with the Prevotes, I’ll do the outlandish act of providing excerpts from my journal. When I have time, I write…and copiously. Thus, this beach holiday was perfect in more ways than one. Happy reading! By the way, Happy New Year!!!


12/21/2007
This is my first night at the Prevotes’ beach house in Le Touquet. They invited me to spend Christmas with them, and how grateful I am to be here. Above being awed by the beauty and profound simplicity of their home, I am once again awed at their hospitality and generosity…While Olivia put Gatien to bed, J-S and I cleaned up the kitchen as he asked about how I celebrate Christmas. So hooray for an opportunity already to talk about how my family celebrates a most important day.

Olivia and J-S seem to think I am “sensible” to all things French, as they said while discussing some American visitors they had who didn’t seem to quite appreciate what the Prevotes thought they should. That said, I am glad that to some extent I have found favor in their eyes. As I headed upstairs I told them if I cry during the weekend, just ignore me. I’m just very happy…

12/22/2007
Salty sea air has been replaced by the scent of slowly burning wood, the clattering sound of late-night summer patio dinners by sparkling lights in all the trees. It’s Christmas in Touquet but when I close my eyes I can see summer. At 9:30pm the sidewalks are deserted except the few dog-walkers and stragglers such as myself; but summertime will enliven these trottoirs with sunset strolls, children careening on bikes, awkward teenage laughter. Although 7 months away, I can feel it and see it.


But Christmas here is slow and lovely, days having no agenda other than to be together and live. Chloe, Loick, and I rambled through market today buying items for lunch. This after noon we played at the beach (who knew sand could be so great at 4 Celsius?)…I believe tomorrow includes a lunch with Olivia’s family and ice skating in the evening. If it is anything like today it will be pleasant and enjoyable.


As part of the day’s occurrences, Olivia and I shared a bit about our families, more than what I’ve known or shared before. I enjoyed it so because I felt like we entered new and more personal territory. What a gift, I realize, and I look forward to my days here…There is this new French evolution in my soul I believe, and I only pray it grows so as to remain. As J-S said to me, “you won’t be able to leave France. You can’t live this life in America. You’ll find this out and have to stay.” And then I heard him tell his brother-in-law, “She is American but French in her soul.” Realizing what he said, I sat in my chair quietly reveling as well as seeing the great compliment just paid me. Those words I will treasure always. Always. Now, I pray, may I be granted the grace and privilege for them to recognize what also is in my soul. And may they desire it.

12/23/2007
…Interestingly I have begun considering too the political versus spiritual nature of “nation.” When I read “nation,” automatically I think nation-state with heads of state, governing bodies, borders, and policies. Of note, however, is the affect of “nation” in the Kings, Isaiah, etc. Yes, it is a political reference, including kings and priests (political appointees at the time) but as I read carefully the Old Testament, I see in the spiritual economy how we must reconfigure how God looks upon nations. This is a hard and tedious consideration as it cuts to the base and heart of God’s character. It also directs us to see and live in the world as God sees it (and more!).

Although Christ exploded the Gospel with himself and his proclamation of begin “the Way,” a broadly inviting Gospel existed clearly during the time of OT recordings. While the people of Israel specifically receive teachings and recordings from Yahweh God, over and over references are made to other nations worshipping this same God. I find it personally important to remember that the OT is a specific historical record of a specifically historical people. With it alone we are unable to know what takes place between Yahweh God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and other peoples. All we can discern is that while God calls the nation of Israel “his,” they are not the only to worship him. Some verses I have particularly marked I’m including here: I Kings 8:41-43 and II Samuel 21:1-6 (7-14)…

…As I reflect, Christ’s coming to earth coincided with a significant historical moment when religiously the people of Israel were free yet lived economically contained. While they continued to practice the worship of Yahweh God, too much and quickly they were having to/felt a need to protect it from others—as a away to preserve their national and political identity. Somewhere in my head I imagine God turning to Jesus saying, “You better go now before this gets out of hand/becomes irreversibly destructive.” In the same way the Israelites of the time of Judges failed to testify of God to the new generations, so too with time did they forget to remember that Yahweh was (and is) first and foremost for all. The person and message of Jesus, then, upset what had become an exclusive religious tradition tied to national and political identity. First of all Jesus was a-political in a way no Jew was expecting. They wanted a king like David but instead received a carpenter who spoke of an other-worldly political order. They had a profound need to be ruled and gathered as a politically chosen people but Jesus instead spoke of all peoples being God’s children. As a French pastor pointed out recently, Jesus did not establish a new religion. He corrected one. Perhaps our psyches can better handle a new one as opposed to our configurations being wrong. Jesus above all reminded the Jews about the base of their faith practices—this is about worshipping an all-welcoming Yahweh God…


(later 12/23)
Winter Welcome

I heard the ocean whisper
its gentle winter welcome
Lulling my soul with its
softly lapping rhythm
I heard spoken
Partout partout
Everywhere all around
I thought it land
but it was sea
I thought it far
but it was near
Encircling engulfing surrounding
Inviting

Rider riding in the distance
Rumble felt underground
Trot and gallop
Canter stop
It’s all in the rhythm
flowing here

Gray cascading overhead
Life teeming underneath
Dog, they leap
Balls, they fly
Children, laugh
And adults they roam

Kicking sand, clumps soft and hard
Left to lie by the retreating tide
Quiet its exit for the evening
slipping out to its larger home
Foaming waves, amidst the fog,
rise and fall with silent push
of cloistered currents

The ocean extends its winter welcome
to the flaneurs taking holiday
And bids farewell to the final remnants of sunny hours
Come again, I heard it say
to us all
Left standing in its absent wake

It is strange
this winter ocean
Cold yet warm
Not yet closed for business
indeed never
For its doors are not those of the sun’s glowing reach
But of our sleeping secrets
stretched out before it
As only invitations of the sea can rouse



12/24/2007
Shells of Faithfulness

Some have stones of remembrance
We have shells of faithfulness
Marking the hours or days or trips
Wherein we have claimed its presence

Washed up, dug in
To darkened sand
Etched with water’s careful hand
Picked up, placed in
To slimmed pockets
Attached to sides of pants and purses

Remants
of memories
of promises made and kept
of October evenings on the East Coast
of “no way, Hosea’s” at Galveston
of balmy summer nights on the Port A Gulf
of frigid sunsets in Delaware
of Noel au Touquet

I can still taste the salt that told me in the end “it was good”
Familiar words, they’ve become
More promises and remnants to come, they say
These shells, though empty and dormant lie,
Speak to me of life lived and life awaiting

12/24-25/2007
Noel with the Prevotes

By meal time at 7:15pm they mean to say all will arrive by 7:30pm. Gifts will be opened. The apero and adults gifts will begin after the children. This will be about 8:15pm. Apero will include foie gras on pain epice, petit quiches, and champagne. Dinner a table will commence around 9pm. But the Croquilles St. Jacques must be sautéed first in golden butter and plates with them topping golden endives with butter and crème fraiche will arrive from the kitchen. We will all take a piece of bread. Next will be the traditional dish hailing from the Massif Central (central French countryside)—lentils with turkey, a particular sausage, carrots, and potatoes. Dollops of mustard will be glopped on each plate, because this is what the French do. All of this will be served with bubbly water, white wine, then red. Good reds from 1992, 1998, and 2002. When asking a Frenchman what the bouquet consists of, I will learn that for all the swirling and sniffing, he does not know but has a friend who takes seriously knowing wines. Me, he will say, I just like to drink it. After the main course, cheese will be served. Side note: this is not the kind of meal where you use the same plate wiped clean with bread as is typical French. Indeed we have four plate changes. Along with the cheese we have more bread, with dried figs. I find this combination strangely agreeable. By this time it has passed 11pm and I have become more fluent, both in comprehending and speaking. I understand almost all of what is being said. One would think cheese would put us all over the edge, but indeed two ice cream selections along with Mamaw’s fudge will. For the first time in my life I will not be able to finish my espresso.

During the meal I will inevitably be discussed…I calmly and quietly take all their conversation in releasing nary a word. Grandmother Prevote will ask how many children I want, a topic earlier discussed with Olivia. I want to both have and adopt, Olivia relays. But it is not the same sense, I am told, adopting. Before I can say a word, Olivia speaks for me. “But, well, she is guided by something strong,” she says, looking sweetly at me. And those words are enough to make an already enjoyable 5-hour dinner affair the most significant moment of this most blessed holiday.