Week of Fetes (parties)

I'm going to add to this blog hopefully before Christmas, and I even have pictures to go with the stories...but I get a rush off of people and while the ink is flowing in my head thought I'd get it down here for you. I hope you will appreciate.

Christmas Luncheon at L'Arche on Tuesday--the French take at least 2 hours, even up to three, for mid-day lunches. Such was the case with Le Moulin's Christmas party to which 46 were invited, 5 courses and a bonbon were served, and three hours later clean-up was still ongoing. What a marvelous time we had both celebrating Christmas and honoring those who give of their time to Le Moulin every week.

Christmas Party with GBU Tuesday night--From one to the next I roll, onto GBU's Christmas fondue party. FORTY students came!!! That's a big deal. And, the GBU students took the opportunity not only to eat fondue with friends but to share about what GBU is, what we do; about Christmas and why we celebrate it, because of Jesus' coming and being a gift for all of us; about Scripture, by passing candies with verses attached to all invited. We were all skeptical if students would read them...BUT THEY DID!!! And not only that, many asked questions and GBU students as I observed explained different verses to their friends. Talk about bold and public. My role is to support, to answer questions, to mingle; and so I took the opportunity to meet friends of the students I've come to love, to offer those gourmet brownies decorated with icing and Christmas sprinkles (thanks Melissa!!!), and to pray throughout the time that God would use this time to prick in minds and hearts curiosity about the things of him. Join us in this prayer.

Christmas "spectacle" at L'Arche--Wednesday afternoon many members of the L'Arche community gathered for a theatrical presentation of the birth of Christ prepared and organized by assistants in the community. The entire salle de communautaire (like a fellowship hall) was taken over by hay, a manger scene, three different sets, and many a friendly face. What a fete it was, gloriously celebrating Jesus' birth. A personal highlight for me came during the snack time afterward when I met an assistant with whom I discussed Jean Vanier, Henri Nouwen, how we came to know L'Arche, family faith traditions...really great! A believing Catholic sincere in living it out.

And a dinner party--To top it off just got in from a very French dinner party. These are truly the moments I live for in life--aperitif (hors d'oeuvres), soup course, main course, dessert, three hours of conversation replete with all the place settings, fork and knife props, name tags (ah, the beautiful art of placing guests), and another introduction into French life. Most of the attendees were new to Compiegne and a handful were connected to L'Arche. I garnered I was the only Protestant among them, a fact which I don't go yelling in the streets because French just think we're weird, especially in L'Oise. But when asked from what tradition I came and I said "Protestant" my neighbor asked more specifically. "Ah," said I, "evangelical." He knew the term but not the context. I explained briefly we place an emphasis on "La Parole" (the Word of God), social action/justice more and more (engagement with need), and talking with others about the life of Jesus. It was a great conversation in which I tried to hear and learn where he was coming from, a practicing Catholic it sounded but not quite sure what all that does and does not include. After we made our way to the living room, myself and another guest Pierre exchanged conversation on living in a foreign country, our connections to L'Arche, what we do, the life of Jean Vanier. When I said I plan to pursue further education but am grateful for time to formulate more real and exact questions for the classroom he asked, what kinds of questions do I have, especially after life in France. That was fun (and challenging) to articulate and I was further glad to meet another member of the community. (Oh, and the flowers, big hit!)

To add to all the goodness of the fetes, I had a great conversation with Thad McAuley, GEM supervisor, about goals and objectives for ministry, re-articulating so as to be pointed with the remainder of my time here. I LIVE for these kinds of interactions and it was great to get feedback and feel in a sense set for the New Year.

AND!!! In my post office box I got a letter from Fellowship Bible Church with lots of Christmas greetings and blessings, which just tops off a fantastic couple of days. Thank you so much! What a great deal of love I felt sent to me. And this week is not even over. Whew! Tomorrow is L'Arche and French class. Friday, L'Arche and tutoring with Madame Bataille and then I leave in the evening with the Prevotes for Christmas. Hurrah!!! Meanwhile my apartment looks a little dejected but well, I'm okay with that.

A final update on Christmas because I've eluded to it--I was invited to join Jean-Stephene, Olivia, Chloe, Loick, et Gatien for the Christmas holidays. They have a house in Le Touquet, a northern beach town, and I will spend the 24th with Jean-Stephene's family and the 25th with Olivia's. She has five sisters and I've never met them or their families. I am blessed to have been invited and count this as significant time with them and gift of God for myself and for I hope being Love Come Down in their midst.

It's 11:43pm. Little tired but well, not really. But I should sleep. Joyeux Noel a tous. Je vous passe la paix et le joie de Christ pour ce saison. Je vous souhaite Bonne Annee aussi. Quels merveilleux oeuvres notre Pere a fait!!! (Merry Christmas to all. I pass the peace of Christ and joy to you for this season. I wish you a Happy New Year as well. What marvelous works our Father has done.)

In response

I keep up with one of my dearest friend's blogs because it's like sitting down for a late night conversation with her while she munches cheese and crackers and I drink caffeinated coffee. This latest made me think of my past two days of spending. I think about money a lot and this month has been no different, in fact more. For every euro I spend, it's like $1.50. It's also the holidays. As well ministry and social engagements have picked up, which have seen an increased expenditure to take or give things at events. But here's this...

I dug through the bottom-shelf no name brand chocolate rack yesterday preparing to make brownies. I couldn't find anything that was clearly marked useable for brownies, so I bought the "patissier" (pastry) chocolate that was marked down to 3 euros but still more than the cheapest. Here was my thought--I'm making these brownies and fudge for Christmas presents--for a GBU fete, for my French host family, and for L'Arche. They should have the best.

At the last minute I've been invited to join my previous host family the Prevotes for Christmas at their beach house up north. Their dog is named Aslan from the Narnia movie. They are non-practicing Catholics. I bought their kids an illustrated The Magician's Nephew and signed it with love from me...because I believe Aslan is on the move and I want to reinforce whatever presence of God and Jesus slips into their home.

I'm headed out shortly to a real French dinner with French people, in a French home, all in French, having been invited by a woman who is going to tutor me in French. In France you bring either wine or flowers to a dinner. I opted for flowers and went to the "Rapi'Flore" down the street from me and told them I have 10 euros; what can we do with that? We came up with a beautiful arrangement that looks Christmasy. I'm sure Madame Bataille expects no flowers or wine from a young American who wouldn't know better. But the best way to enter the lives and hearts of people here is to bless them by honoring their customs.

These three purchases seem frivolous to me and I debated each one of them. (I squatted on the chocolate aisle for 5 minutes comparing and thinking. I have thought about the present for the Prevotes since knowing of their dog's name. And I visited the florist, told her I was just looking, and returned later with a limit in mind.) I don't normally spend money on such things here--rent, bills, food, lunches with GBU women, and the occasional train ticket usually make it up. But these are my values--
1) Honor people with what you serve them to eat. When someone takes a bite of food in my home or something I've brought to a party, I want them to feel loved.
2) God uses the simplest of books to plant the most important of seeds, even for 7 and 5 year old children.
3) Honor invitations and count them as the gifts they are. Respond in kind.

Well, I must go to dinner but maybe your values are different than mine. That's okay. But there's this "poor missionary" mindset out there that even on a budget and bad exchange rate I'm trying to dispel. It's not that I spend frivolously. Everything that goes out of my wallet is pointed. It's not that I live above my means, at all in fact. It's that I inherently connect what I spend to first, is it being responsible and obedient, i.e., paying bills and tithe, and is it loving others...even in France, even as a missionary. I have a lot to learn about money, finances, planning, saving/spending, thinking about the future. But here and now I just wanted to share this short reflection. My friend's blog came at a perfect time that coincided with my latest actions.

Getting Real

Hi lovely readers and supporters. I'm working on a post that ties together some of what I've been learning, reflecting on personally, reading and studying in Scripture and other texts this week. I hope I'll get it up by tomorrow night sometime; it comes in spurts but it's as much for me to have as to share with you. That said, I'm just going to break it down for you...

This week has not been good. In fact, I'll call it bad. To comfort you, it's nothing tied to specific ministries here for the most part. Ministry is slow and takes a lot of initiating, and that does get wearying, but on the whole it's been "same old, same old" if you can call it that. But I can paint a rosy picture over just about anything and I've opted to not this time. I can't put my finger on any one particular thing that would have made this week stand out as just very difficult. I'm an emotional person in general but I tend towards balanced expression. This week has not seen balanced at all. I have cried at the most surprising moments and I have not had the energy I normally do. Part of this is due to real tiredness along with battling some sickness that has taken root in my chest; I've even made a doctor's appointment. I knew I was sick when everything kept spinning on Friday and I could barely bike home; even thought of walking the bike although that would have taken longer so opted to press on. The weather has changed, it's fairly cold, not like Chicago but it's wet which means it takes hours to warm up, which has its particular effects. It's Christmastime, which of course always brings with it some level of sadness when you're away from family and friends. But, I don't think it's that either.

In general it's just been one of those weeks when I want to go "home," whatever that means these days. It's also been a week of really pressing into God and Jesus. One night as I was falling asleep I prayed, "Alright God, today, let's talk about it. It hasn't been bad, but it hasn't been good. I need you desperately right now and I have no idea what my needs are other than that I can feel something is off."

And when I've thought the badness has passed, like a few moments ago as I lugged my wet laundry in as I do every other Saturday morning, it comes up again. I had turned to wash dishes and all of the sudden I'm crying for no apparent reason and I just have to sit down because I'm so weak. The song lyrics "Draw me close to you, never let me go, I lay it all down again, to hear you say that you're my friend, you are my desire, no one else will do, cause no one else can take your place, to feel the warmth of your embrace..." instantly came to me, and as I bent over into my kitchen towel I just let those words for this week sink in.

As I had dinner with Nari last night we were sharing and it seems she's had a rough week too, also has trouble having needs, and we were able to encourage one another from where we both sat--spiritually good and knowing we are in need of a great God but tired and frustrated. Our time was an answer to prayer because as I left I asked God to please use my apparent weakness in my time with Nari. I felt like I was supposed to share and be real before her as others have been with me, and I saw God honor that prayer, and well, despite bad there is always good. (see, told you I can see anything as rosy)

This coming week is full and there are some Christmas plans in the works that could be in fact very exciting!!! I'm headed out soon to meet Natacha for the library opening, which is great as we've been trying to get our schedules together all week. But if you would, pray for me. I don't even know specifically how to ask. Life here is so full and so good and wow, I'm amazed what God puts into my path to do. But I think I am weary and in need of care for reasons I don't myself understand.

Untitled

I'm taking time to write here against my better judgment, more than anything because I should go to bed. It's 10pm, early according my standards, but I have a 5am rise time getting a guest to the train station (apologize to all who normally rise at 5am; I'm pretty sure my mind and body has very little capacity for functioning at that hour). However, I need to write this.

Several key ministry moments have passed this week--two significant discipleship/evangelism conversations, GEM's Christmas prayer and party day, the first meeting of JAO transition leadership team, and a few more. However, I have not slept well at all, due not to lack of tiredness; rather I have hit the pillow quite hard. But I have tossed and turn, waking up in the middle of the night in prayer and thought much over what I am to say, not say, how I am to encourage, what Scripture has to say, what folks need, etc. specifically in regards to 1) waiting on experiences of God, 2) our identity and confidence in Christ and God through the work of the Holy Spirit, and 3) personal integrity in ministry. It having been a full week and having been tired at night, I've only been able to literally grab one solid hour and a some time on a train to look through Scriptures in search of what it has to say and how God is speaking through it and the Holy Spirit today. I have literally had a few moments where I've wanted to cry because all I want and quite frankly need to do is sit down in some serious Scripture study accompanied by prayer and writing to sort through all that has, I feel and think, spiritually come into aspects of ministry this week but have not been able to. Looking to this week ahead I'm carving out some time for this specifically because if I am not being equipped in prayer and study to minister appropriately through the Spirit, quite frankly, I have no business being here. Yes, trust God with it all, of course I believe that; but well, when you're waking up consistently at night wrestling that's not just invitation to a moment to sit idly by and allow God to work his magic. Since Christ came preaching not magic but the formation of persons through discipleship, I personally have to be about that work in order to be poured out.

In writing I may sound like I'm very weighed down, confused even, that this time has been burden. Well, not really. Burden, yes, but appropriately so more as the "privilege" Paul often calls his ministry. Confused and weighed down, not really either. More needing to prepare, sort, and recognize the intense and significant work involved with discipleship, encouragement, and evangelism. Over and over recently I have shared with some close friends that I have seen so significantly God's preparing me for this season here in ways that I can only now recognize. I am here neither too soon nor too late. And I think with this week I see another level--that we must sense and recognize truly the spiritual (notice I do not write eternal yet that is encompassed) weight of ministering. While there is much to rejoice over in this past week, indeed in these past months, it comes with a certain amount of weightiness that cannot be just cast aside or written off but that must be taken into account.

So if you will, please pray that this coming week provides some significant time for study and preparation alongside the handfuls of other interactions taking place. While I'm thinking about it, pray too for this season of Christmas here. Quite accidentally with my weekend visitor (my sister's roommate) we walked into a couple of masses and of course, I having a rather high view of this sacramental moment took it all in (minus the communion bread of course). But this is what I do when I stumble upon services such as this in France, probably something I should do more in the States come to think of it--I pray for the person who is hearing the first word about God, that it will prick them and something will be stirred. I pray too for the person who has come with great need and burden, that in the Holy Words of God and in the Holy taking of the Eucharist (because I'm pretty sure it's a free for all in such settings if you know what I mean) they will encounter our Great Comforter and meet him newly or afresh. Scriptures for this weekend's mass focused on preparing the way of Jesus, looking at John the Baptist's words in Matthew 3. This is a season of preparing the way, of looking to Jesus' arrival. Pray that The Way would be heard and take seed in the hearts and minds of those searching but unsure of that for which they seek.

"I feel like I'm waiting for something..."

My dear friends, I've put off writing something for feeling the need to write everything, which is just impossible. When I survey the last two weeks and a few days alone, there is much to relate of ministry here in Compiegne but, well, it will have to go unwritten. Suffice it to say, there were parties galore, multiple Thanksgiving dinners and observations, new acquaintances made at L'Arche, more learned of why I am here, new levels of conversations with GBU women, the Hemmerles' departure, and on and on. What I write below, however, is of today, fresh and real. I don't mention a name because it's personal but when you pray, I'm sure the name is known.

I wove my way down slender streets, whizzing past stalled cars and leisurely walkers as I rolled to what has become "my holy space" here in Compiegne. I prayed St. Germaine's doors would be unlocked. The padded wooden door stood slightly ajar and as I silently praised God for this grace I walked my bike over to a secluded spot and locked it up. Entering the church I maneuvered between the chairs and up the aisle, not stopping to cross myself because, well, I'm not Catholic and it just wouldn't be faithful to them or myself, not the least too the Cross. I found the row of chairs most secluded in darkness caused by the falling shadow of a concrete pillar; I had no idea what was coming so I knew I needed some sort of covering.

She sat there, atop her stool, I above mine, sipping drinks and catching up on our week-ends' activities. Her quiet voice and timidity always gives me cause to lean forward to hear better, but her sweet laughs in between always give me reason to throw my head back as well. After having chatted on a bit as we usually do to begin, I asked how she needed encouragement for the rest of the semester, what kinds of questions did she need someone to ask her to check in with her. And it was precisely from her response on that I sensed this was no ordinary conversation nor that our interactions hereafter would ever be able to be the same. What ensued was a literal pouring out of thoughts and needs as connected by questions I thought and prayed long and hard on before asking. She wants to be more invested--in her studies, in her life, in GBU, in her faith. One comment led to another and I continued to learn that she desires to grow in her confidence to make decisions and to be a person in general. She shared that she wants to be more engaged and confident in her faith, better knowing of God. And this is how she said it.

"When I pray, I ask God to grow my faith and to give me confidence in it. ("j'ai envie de...") I want to understand the way for my life. But it never comes. I feel like I'm waiting for something but I don't know what. I have been waiting."

If I could have fallen back against the wall I would have, not at the shock of what I was hearing but that I was hearing it. Here is a young woman, I realized, asking God desperately, Show me the way and teach me to walk in it. And she has just invited me quite freely into that asking.

Our time continues on and I ask some more questions so I know how best to pray, how best to encourage, what resources to seek out. We talk about the source of confidence, joy and happiness, "le bonheur," what she means by "chemin" (a way), and more. The time has passed quickly and the project she needed to work on has been forgotten as she eyes the clock and says, Oh, I didn't even know the time.

I tell her that I am grateful for her sharing, that I will continue to pray and think on what she has talked about for our next time together. She looks at me with a most deep sincerity and says, Thank you for listening.

I sit straight up in the uncomfortable wooden chair and look towards the altar. I want to press my hand out and against the chilled pillar for support but instead I let my glove-clad hands rest in my lap. I do not even know how to pray or what to pray but I am reminded of testaments in the books of Samuel and Kings when the work of prayer prompted the work of God. I recall too what I read in I Thessalonians this morning about the love between God's people and his servants. So I ask, Lord, I have no idea what she is waiting for, but I pray that you will move and that the desire of her heart to know you, to walk in you confidently, and to have joy will be heard. I pray that you will give her what neither she nor I know to identify. Please Lord, please. The tears come as I knew they eventually would, and I know these are the sort of tears that lead to sobbing and scenes that are sadly not fit for the stoicism of our churches. So I sit there and try to be as quiet as possible, but I cry and I keep praying and eventually my scarf gets wet and I realize I have no Kleenex so I'm going to have to pull it together if I want to leave in semi-respectable fashion. I slowly raise up, take my heavy bag, and head to the door. Valerie from L'Arche is sitting in the back and I quickly wave and walk out.

It has rained and I did not tie the plastic bag over my bike seat. Brushing off the cold drops and unlocking the chain, I pull the bike away from the fence. I take the handles and begin walking slowly to the bottom of the yard, toward the street glistening and the cars passing. I am heavy yet light. I am blessed yet questioning. I am simultaneously prayerful and thoughtful. I know I'm going home to make soup but I am also asking, Where to now, Lord? Where to now?

How does it go again? Oh, right...

Hullabaloo, kanick, kanick, hullabaloo, kanick, kanick, hullabaloo, hullabaloo, hullabaloo, kanick, kanick...WHOOP!!!

I have just taken fresh pumpkin pie from the oven. Dressing awaits baking in the fridge. My 11:30pm cup of coffee has both kicked in and kicked out simultaneously at 1am. Tomorrow is another full day in a week of full days, wait, wait, make that a month that has been and a month to come. I promise a substantial post will be made this weekend. There's much to recount and Thanksgiving this year has once again been a sweet time to bless God for his goodness in ministry here and in life in general.

And his final goodness we hope...7:36 remaining in the 4th, UT vs. Texas A&M, it's 24 UT to A&M's 38, Aggies have the ball...and I must go to bed. I can't watch the game Dad and Granddaddy, but I sure can check the score!

Sunday Reflections

So besides the JAO post, here's an extra one for you. I'm running out soon for dinner at Mahina's (she insisted it's her turn to host) but before I go...

I've been thinking about the "Kingdom of God." This term gets used a lot, thrown around even more, and ever since someone made a rather pointed comment about it once, I listen up when we start talking about the "Kingdom of God." A former housemate once asked, "What if the 'Kingdom of God' is not a liberating idea? What if it denotes further oppression? What then are we about?" Hmm, good question. As I've been thinking about it today, the Bible talks a lot about the Kingdom of God and if when we say "kingdom of God", people run and ride, that means a couple of things. We have royally mucked up the kingdom concept, haven't we? If someone preaches liberation as only God can establish in a Kingdom and someone else hears and wants nothing to do with it, we better first understand what they hear when they hear "kingdom." We also ought to rethink what we envision when we envision and preach "kingdom." We third ought to gather at a round table so that none take precedence over the other and talk about this radical Kingdom of God and how it should be envisioned and construed so that all run towards it, not away. As a French person, I would want nothing to do with a kingdom (or the church). As a person enslaved at the orders of a king, I would want nothing to do with a kingdom. As a concubine among the masses, I would want nothing to do with a kingdom. As a Christian who wants to take seriously this Biblical "Kingdom" concept, I want to learn what God really means. I guess we have some work to do.

Spiritual growth--I've been tossing around the idea of measuring spiritual growth. If growth denotes activity and life, then inherently an object is growing somewhere. What is its end and how is it getting there? And first, is it growing? Does it have sunlight, water, air, the essentials? And how are we keeping tabs on it. I think particularly here in the context of GBU after a great dinner with one of the students this week. She really pumped me up and got me thinking--we need goals and markers. It's good and right to grow in knowledge. We ought also to be growing in maturity, in how we apply spiritual knowledge. Much further food for ministry thought and action.

Why is it easier for the church to envision establishing justice outside its walls than being an institution of justice to begin with? I guess if we're just, someone who has always been comfortable at church might get uncomfortable. Plus it's easier to keep injustice, sin, and brokenness as a problem "of the world" then rather confront that it might in fact be a problem of the Church, as in residing in the Church rather than something to merely respond to "out there." Yikes, really, because I thought we had gotten so much right for so long.

And in closing, here's some lyrics to a song I've been listening to. Hope it ministers to your soul as it did mine.

To Close to the Mirror--Eddie Ruth Bradford

Yes, I'm too close to the mirror to see what you see
Why you shower down your blessings, your blessings on me
Not anything I've done, Lord, as far as I can see
Yes, I'm too close to the mirror to see what you see in me

Sometimes I think about the things you have done for me
How you washed away all my sins, set my spirit free
Then I look back on my life
I haven't always done right
Still goodness and mercy follow me every day and night

When I thought about giving up
You said trust in me
If you hold on and faint not
Keep your faith in me
Lord, you don't see me like I am
You see me like I'm gonna be
So I believe I'll run on
And see what the end will be

Hallelujah, I'm too close to the mirror to see what you see
Why you shower down your blessings, your blessings on me
Not anything I've done, Lord, as far as I can see
Yes, I'm too close to the mirror to see what you see in me

What is JAO?

JAO is an acronym for "Les Jeunes Adultes D'Oise"--young adults of L'Oise. That's what JAO is; however, as that's not incredibly helpful to understand the ministry, I'll tell you more.

JAO is a regional ministry envisioned and started by Dave and Virginia Hemmerle as a response to the spiritual needs for Bible study and relational connection for Christian and non-Christian young adults in the L'Oise Valley. Although much of France does not have a strong Protestant (or even Christian) witness, L'Oise is considered one of the weakest regions due to a variety of reasons--history, Catholicism, closed mindsets, etc, etc. Thus, young Christians invariably attempt to live out their faith in the context of a church (which by the way isn't necessarily a given institution for support here) but without the support and relationships of peers as well as modeling and teaching. Insert JAO.

JAO consists of two elements--regional monthly gatherings and every 6-week Bible studies. The regional monthly gatherings include worship, prayer, topical teaching, and fellowship (note: really don't like that word, so Christian-ese, but what else do I write?). We gather at a church in Nogent-sur-Oise, a central meeting point, for three to four hours. Up until this point, Dave has been organizing and teaching at each regional JAO but with the Hemmerles' fast-approaching departure, others will soon be teaching as well. For the Bible studies, a smaller (although all are invited) group have met at the Hemmerles' home. The time starts with a meal followed by Bible study and prayer. Of interesting note, for the last Bible study, the the meal began around 8:45pm and the study began at 10pm. :) Not exactly an American hour for Bible study, but I LOVE it! This year Dave took everyone's ideas and we are studying Hebrews. The responsibility for facilitating a study is passed around the group.

As aforementioned, Dave and Virginia leave in less than two weeks for their one-year stateside assignment. In preparation for their departure, Dave has worked to assemble a transition team so that JAO is able to continue ministering to young adults with engaged and equipped leadership. Praise be to God, a man named Francois who works with another young adult ministry a bit north of us heard of Dave and contacted him about working with JAO. As well, two other French nationals Joel and Marie have quickly stepped in to take leadership and organization responsibility. I as well am a part of this transition team to support the ongoing national French ministry.

Dave and Virginia have provided key leadership, relationships, and hospitality for these young adults during their time in L'Oise. However, perhaps most exciting for me as an outsider in some senses is to see the significant potential this ministry has to continue flourishing. It is difficult--stateside, France, or anywhere else--to start a ministry and build into in such a way that it can continue well after initial leadership has departed. Pray that the transition team and all who participate will continue to recognize a call to leadership and engagement with JAO, not only for their needs but for the larger building up of the Church and being a collective witness to the unifying work of Christ in the midst of so many. JAO is an exciting ministry avenue of which to be a part and I hope you will pray with us and for us in the coming months.

Here's the Rundown

I'm way overdue to write an inside scoop even though I have one half-drafted. Hopefully I'll finish it soon. But I'll hit some high points from the last few days.

Groupe Biblique Universitaire at my apartment Friday night--fondue, fun, and prayer!

Irenee et Clement prepare the fondue ingredients--cheese and bread, of course.

Irenee demonstrates how to do fondue.

GBU women pose for the camera
moi, Nari, Heather, Natacha, et Corinne

I acquired a French family.


Just kidding! However, after their stellar performance on Sunday (not letting on that they knew it was my birthday at church) and after their fantastic leaping out of walls for my surprise birthday dinner, who wouldn't claim the McAuley kids? Their mom Joy joins us below, just for proof.


It's official--I'm a quarter of a century old. After discovering some new wrinkles around my mouth this week, I've decided to stop smiling so much. Seriously though, I'm excited and blessed to have made it thus far when so many in our world don't. Praise be to God for the gift of this breath.


Heard Phillip Yancey speak at Centre Evangelique (more to come) this afternoon.


Glad I'm not into impulse buying--there were several rooms full of books at Centre Evangelique!!! Oh the great temptations of life from which we must flee.

My First French Cinema Experience

Last Thursday night I went to the movies with a woman from church. Now, I can't remember the last time I was in an American theatre much less a French one. Anyway, we saw Le Premier Cri. I have a movie review in me to write but don't have the mental faculties for it right now. Couple of things though...

1) This will never make it to the Unites States' theatres. Way too much nudity for the American public. Sad thing is, it struck me as how objectified both French and Americans make a woman's body rather than see it as quite natural and beautiful as this movie poignantly portrays.

2) The website is in French but if you click on "videos" it will be clear enough. Here's the rundown--It's a documentary following the birth process in 10 different cultures. It is an artistic and at times disjointed rendering of the experience between the 10 women; but beautifully done. It does not necessarily follow pregnancy but specifically focuses on the preparation for birth and the occurrence itself.

3) BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL EVER!!! The trailer is quite touching; the movie, well, I never found a reason to cry. It had its sweet moments and was definitely thought-provoking but on levels unrelated directly to birthing babies.

4) If somehow miraculously this does make it to the USA I do suggest you see it, women AND men. I do not recommend this for children under the age of 13 unless accompanied by intentional conversation (see point 5). It can be used educationally for teenagers, young adults, and opens a fantastic door into discussions related to different cultures, traditions, physicality and sexuality, and...

5) Spirituality--I was intrigued at the spiritual experiences, or lack thereof, connected to the birth process in a handful of the women's stories. This movie raises issues beyond simply birth itself but probes (without making a statement) at the how and why of different birth processes. Several of these processes link to spiritual practices and it is quite interesting. The renderings are profound and provide much food for thought, not inappropriate but perhaps a bit inaccessible to little minds.

Prep Work

I'm spending a good part of the holiday Toussaint prepping and studying for upcoming conversations and French class. A recent question posed to me was "How did Jesus create the world if God did too?" So we get into Trinity issues, Jesus as Creator issues, etc. and as I'm gathering some verses to give I thought, Oh, you would love to see this. I like to call it "Evangelism in a Globalized Context." You'll note I've left out Hebrews 1, namely because it gets complicated and I don't know if I can explain it clearly in English much less French! Pray that God uses this.

Of note, for study I appreciate the English Standard Version, for personal reading I use ESV or New American Standard, and for sharing English translations, Today's New International Version. For an older Christian I think ESV, NASB, NIV, etc., are great and helpful and one can usually be aware of language differences we might use today. For teaching the Kingdom of God as one that includes oh, I don't know, both genders, TNIV is extremely necessary for new and questioning students. In general I have found The Message oddly enough not usually that helpful, as it is a cultural as much as it is a language translation--my opinion. For French, I use either La Bible "en francais courant" or a very simple version published by BLF Europe. Louis Segond is the one used below; it is the definitive French translation. I have been told "Parole de Vie" is simple and easy for non-native speakers as well as new and growing Christians. I believe it is one of the more popular versions among students here although I do not have one yet. I can only pray the Chinese version I found below is correct.

Jesus le Createur

創 世 記 1:26

26 　 神 说 ： 我 们 要 照 着 我 们 的 形 像 、 按 着 我 们 的 样 式 造 人 ， 使 他 们 管 理 海 里 的 鱼 、 空 中 的 鸟 、 地 上 的 牲 畜 ， 和 全 地 ， 并 地 上 所 爬 的 一 切 昆 虫 。

Genèse 1:26

26 Puis Dieu dit: Faisons l'homme à notre image, selon notre ressemblance, et qu'il domine sur les poissons de la mer, sur les oiseaux du ciel, sur le bétail, sur toute la terre, et sur tous les reptiles qui rampent sur la terre.

Genesis 1: 26

26 Then God said, "Let us make human beings in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, [a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

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約 翰 福 音 1:1-5

約 翰 福 音 1

1 太 初 有 道 ， 道 与 神 同 在 ， 道 就 是 神 。

2 这 道 太 初 与 神 同 在 。

3 万 物 是 藉 着 他 造 的 ； 凡 被 造 的 ， 没 有 一 样 不 是 藉 着 他 造 的 。

4 生 命 在 他 里 头 ， 这 生 命 就 是 人 的 光 。

5 光 照 在 黑 暗 里 ， 黑 暗 却 不 接 受 光 。

Jean 1:1-5

1 Au commencement était la Parole, et la Parole était avec Dieu, et la Parole était Dieu.

2Elle était au commencement avec Dieu.

3Toutes choses ont été faites par elle, et rien de ce qui a été fait n'a été fait sans elle.

4En elle était la vie, et la vie était la lumière des hommes.

5La lumière luit dans les ténèbres, et les ténèbres ne l'ont point reçue.

John 1:1-5

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all people. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

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歌 羅 西 書 1:15-20

15 爱 子 是 那 不 能 看 见 之 神 的 像 ， 是 首 生 的 ， 在 一 切 被 造 的 以 先 。

16 因 为 万 有 都 是 靠 他 造 的 ， 无 论 是 天 上 的 ， 地 上 的 ； 能 看 见 的 ， 不 能 看 见 的 ； 或 是 有位 的 ， 主 治 的 ， 执 政 的 ， 掌 权 的 ； 一 概 都 是 藉 着 他 造 的 ， 又 是 为 他 造 的 。

17 他 在 万 有 之 先 ； 万 有 也 靠 他 而 立 。

18 他 也 是 教 会 全 体 之 首 。 他 是 元 始 ， 是 从 死 里 首 先 复 生 的 ， 使 他 可 以 在 凡 事 上 居 首 位 。

19 因 为 父 喜 欢 叫 一 切 的 丰 盛 在 他 里 面 居 住 。

20 既 然 藉 着 他 在 十 字 架 上 所 流 的 血 成 就 了 和 平 ， 便 藉 着 他 叫 万 有 ─ 无 论 是 地 上 的 、 天 上 的 ─ 都 与 自 己 和 好 了 。

Colossiens 1:15-20

15 Il est l'image du Dieu invisible, le premier-né de toute la création.

16 Car en lui ont été créées toutes les choses qui sont dans les cieux et sur la terre, les visibles et les invisibles, trônes, dignités, dominations, autorités. Tout a été créé par lui et pour lui.

17Il est avant toutes choses, et toutes choses subsistent en lui.

18Il est la tête du corps de l'Église; il est le commencement, le premier-né d'entre les morts, afin d'être en tout le premier.

19Car Dieu a voulu que toute plénitude habitât en lui;

20 il a voulu par lui réconcilier tout avec lui-même, tant ce qui est sur la terre que ce qui est dans les cieux, en faisant la paix par lui, par le sang de sa croix.

Colossians 1:15-20

15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Faithful

This is random and personal but it's worth sharing in my opinion. Below is a snippet from an email my mom sent me which instigated this whole post. She is a faithful prayer warrior and avid missions supporter. In fact, I still remember the missions notebook on the den coffee table with a map of the world and all the missionaries alphabetized and filed every time their newsletters came in. Some of the best reading I did as a child and teenager. I also happen to think Mom is fascinating! Throughout my college years she would read what books I brought home and left between semesters. Thus, we were able to "keep up" in a sense better than what I heard a lot of other students struggle with. When my theology of the Holy Spirit got blown open, she was there reading the same. When I started realizing, hey, why are women silent in the Church, she was also there reading. And when I fell in love again with philosophy, she also took interest. (Never have been able to get her hooked on politics though. :) ) As I have naturally added social justice to my list of passions and pursuits, she is always there with stories from work about how she has made a push for bi-lingual documents, how she's confronted an educator who couldn't speak Spanish to find someone who could so that equal care could be delivered, how she enrolled in a Spanish class so she could at least communicate basics herself, and she amazes me at how quickly she sees and serves "the least of these", from the voiceless premature babies to Spanish-speaking parents to Waco's poor and young single moms which frequent her hospital more than the other in town. Currently she likes to say "As a supporter of the ministry in France, it would be helpful to know/understand/pray, etc." She has helped me understand the relationship between the sending and the sent in the church so I can refine what and how I communicate. As well she has inherited all my books since I departed for France which fill an entire shelf unit to the ceiling and five boxes. So, she's taken to reading beyond her own equally large collection my Simone Weil reader in snippets and Augustine as of late...apparently. Anyway, just thought I'd pass this on.

So Sunday, as I walk into church and sit down, the service begins by the opening of a window to the baptistry alcove, where a mother and father together are sharing and participating in the baptizing and prayer blessing of their two children. I consider my prayers for you and Lauren, how a mother prays for her children day and night.....as I have been reading in II Timothy, that Paul did for his son in the Lord.....as I have been reading in "The Autobiography of George Muller", that he did for the orphans.......as I have been reading in "Confessions", that Monnica did for Augustine.

What is L'Arche?

L'Arche is an international faith-based organization which provides home, care, and a high quality of life to persons disabled both mentally and/or physically. Jean Vanier, a Canadian transplanted to Trosly-Breuil, France (not too far from me) started L'Arche communities by initially inviting two mentally disabled men to live in his home rather than remain institutionalized. From such simple beginnings, the ministry of L'Arche spans the globe today offering safe homes to many individuals who would otherwise be left in institutions or uncared for. Believing that within each individual lies the capacity to contribute to the lives of others through love, service, and presence despite appearances, Vanier encourages the formation of communities which draw upon everyone's gifts and abilities. His theology most clearly takes root in the love of God and the call of Jesus to live fully with those many would consider "broken," for by living alongside apparent brokenness, one can discover their own brokenness as well as the redemption for it. He also profoundly addresses the need for Christian community to be sought and formed in response to the great losses individualized and privatized faith incurs.

I first became aware of L'Arche during college through reading many of Henri Nouwen's works. Nouwen became one of the most influential authors, thinkers, and Christians I read during college. His books Wounded Healer, In the Name of Jesus, Out of Solitude, Reaching Out, The Way of the Heart, and excerpts from Life of the Beloved particularly shaped the way I think of ministry, of being and doing, of community, and of living in general. An academic worn by the culture of competition and intellectualism in the Ivy League seminaries, he found a place as community member and priest at Daybreak, a L'Arche community in Toronto, Canada. He often traveled and spoke at conferences, always insisting that a member of Daybreak accompany him that the life of Christ and community in their midst would be testimony to all that he would teach.

My second brush with L'Arche occurred while I lived in Washington, D.C. and participated in the Servant Leadership School's Discipleship Year Program. While I visited a L'Arche community only once, I benefited from Jean Vanier's writings as well as enjoyed art created and displayed by the D.C. L'Arche community members at Potter's House, my favorite bookstore and home away from home in DC.

L'Arche around the world takes on different cultural, religious, and organizational flavors depending on its location. However, its network is administratively tied together between all 130 locations. Most often, L'Arche communities are configured as a home wherein live an assortment of residents both developmentally handicapped and assistants. Assistants normally commit one or more years to a community, volunteering to help with daily life, chores, running everyone around on errands and appointments, and learning to live in a different than usual context. Developmentally handicapped residents contribute just as fully to the life of the community and often may be engaged in day programs outside the house.

For my time in Compiegne, I work in a rather large and well-developed leg of L'Arche which facilitates several communities in Compiegne as well as offers day programs for developmentally disabled adults. Within this day program called Le Moulin is where I help. Each day a range of activities have been developed and are offered for a regular number of enrolled participants. Time together throughout the day is spent in a variety of ways--preparing lunch, arts and crafts, sharing and prayer, swimming, cleaning, exercise, outdoor photography, taking a rest, talking, spa treatments (or at least this is how I translate the word), educational trips in the community, etc. As I help out, it is a growing and stretching time, as this is not necessarily my heart or life's call nor am I known for my patience. However, I enjoy getting to participate in the activities alongside people and one can truly see that help is needed as well as I need to learn much from program participants. I have to be honest--last Friday I got to lead the exercise session at Le Moulin and it was such a blast. We rotate men and women going to a dance studio to work with a professional dance teacher, and for the rotation when the women remain at Le Moulin, Martine and I facilitate the time. So when Martine was out of town, I got to choose the music, what sorts of exercises we did, I even pulled out the percussion box and we worked on motion/sound coordination. I am fascinated by the way I see the arts in various forms aid developmental progress, and it is such a joy to be able to contribute in an area where there is limited ability...and see those abilities grow and as a group share a few laughs and kicks. Yes, there were kicks. I put on club dance music and we practiced moving in time. :) What can I say? Spreading the gospel of dance one person at a time.

If you are new to hearing of L'Arche, Nouwen, or Vanier, I recommend you find a couple of their short books and learn more. Vanier's From Brokenness to Community is a quick read which will provide a glimpse into the heart and work of L'Arche. For a quick but meaty Nouwen read I recommend In the Name of Jesus. Of course, I also dare you to read only one Nouwen book. I couldn't. As well, if you are experiencing a time of wondering "what am I doing with my life?" many of the L'Arche communities provide a wonderful space in which to flesh out responses to that question in wonderful ways that might not ordinarily happen just doing life on your own. A certain interdependency is cultivated at the center of each community and it would be well worth giving time to both learning and growing in a place so that these principles can be taken on and outward with you for life. Besides being a space to answer such a question, L'Arche is a wonderful and well-established network of communities that is well worth checking out if you are interested in community life, service, and/or developmentally disabled needs and resources.

Because God said "It was good."

Maybe it's just in my head, but when missionaries send pictures and letters home, I feel like there's this unspoken need to be proclaim the sufferings "on the field" we are currently experiencing. Feel free to dispel this myth that is rooted in my head. I'm trying hard to as well. I want to affirm the spiritual infancy and non-existence which is France. I want to tell you how much my heart breaks when I interact with people who know Jesus only nominally or not at all. Both of these statements are true. We all have days here when we look to skies and enter empty churches and proclaim in frustration that God must have left this land. I've even heard a story of a veteran couple who prayed their official paperwork wouldn't clear so they would have to go back to the states. Yeah, it's hard.

But here's the deali-o yo: There is immense joy to be had serving here. And not just because it's France. It happens to be beautiful here in all the pictures because they have a history spanning more than 300 years. And not just because it's personally easy. Someone asked me to explain something in English instead of French to them and afterward commented, wow, you're totally different in English with your facial expressions and hands. I walk around most days living under 50% of my personality. I don't call that fun. And not because I have found my calling to France and am never going "home." In fact, the cultural differences between my American self and the lovely French are much more acute this second time around than the first summer of ministry. I'm not disenchanted, just real.

But the reason for immense joy exists at the core of ministry, at the core of fulfilling the Great Commission and Great Commandment according to the ways God has intimately created us each to do, at the core of following him wherever he leads (if it's to France, to the classroom, to family, to cooking school, to adult education for the blind, wherever!). The core of being used by God, I believe, is joy. Jesus surely didn't walk around with a sullen face--why did people follow him and why could children not resist him? Yes, in the Synoptic Gospels we read Christ prayed for the cup of his sacrifice, the culmination of his being, to be passed from him. He was not exactly leaping towards the cross. But we flip over to John and read that he promises his disciples joy, joy in seeing him, joy in the receiving of what God grants. And the joy will be full and no one will be able to take it away from them. Then he calls his disciples into his ministry, into establishing the Church, and joy as a gift of God in their midst is never renounced. And then Paul, can't get over Paul...he's got joy all over the place and the man is always traveling, often imprisoned, separated from the people he loves AND he's teaching and encouraging joy in churches. Finally, there's James. You must simply love James. "Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." He's writing to those in the Church, those that are inherently involved in ministry and prodding them on to joy despite trials.

Trials, yes, they are here for the taking. The spiritual battle is on and we are all in the thick of it. But in most of my pictures, many of my stories--I'm not trying to paint a rosy picture nor do I want to leave you with a false impression of the spiritual needs here for they are grave--we're going to be having a good time. Not just flippantly good but this is about investing in people's lives, and I think people's lives are perhaps the most significant call to joy I know. They are indeed reflections of a most full and glorious God.

In celebration of joy, here's some of its latest victims.

Me and Tiffany, fellow GEM Euroquester, say goodbye in Paris.



Natacha flashes a smile during GBU's night of worship, prayer, and discussion.



Xue is all smiles and giggles for the camera.



JoJo, Mahina, and I enjoy a lovely Sunday afternoon lunch to practice English.

Today's Praises

Today I met with Corinne for lunch. She shared more about her family, how she prays, we talked about parents, time in Scripture. I eased into letting her know that I'd love to meet regularly every other week if she would like to--for prayer, encouragement, to talk about needs, etc. As we were talking, I shared with her how difficult I see it is for Christians here--"sans beaucoup de soutien, d'encouragement, les autres chretiennes." (without a lot of support, encouragement, other christians) She quietly responded, "But you're here now, and we can 'profiter' a bit from that." I think I almost cried.

So this is what I "do"--I encourage the weary and the young. I ask God to show me how to love them, how to walk with them. Then I go home and look in the mirror and think--I get to do this? What the heck?!

I praise God that he uses us despite ourselves. I praise God that he redeems us. I praise God that he has me here for a reason. And I praise God for Corinne and the others. I praise God for keeping them faithful despite their setting. I praise God for calling them to himself. I praise God for their sweet spirits. I praise God that those he has called he will not abandon.

Aren't Sundays Wonderful?!

I love Sundays. I really do. It's as if they are inherently Sabbath as they arise and exist, no work necessary to make it so. Absolutely magnificent. Last Sunday I visited a church in Senlis with an Slovakian couple who now make their home in France (and speak a gazillion languages) and with Heather, an American student at UTC. Alexandra et Pavol invited us to join them when they heard our church was having a "week-end d'eglise" 2 hours away for the weekend. Basically it was a church retreat. So after church we returned to Compiegne for a gloriously long lunch and then a drive to nearby Pierrefonds to see the chateau there, as previously mentioned in last week's blog. After a pleasant Sunday ramble, I headed home about 6pm.

Today I commenced the day's activities by preparing a salad this morning for a meeting of young adults after church. As much as I dig French food, I'm really into more ethnic varieties. Thus my choice of couscous salad with raisins, apples, cinnamon, and sugar explained--a Moroccan recipe. After a great sermon on Jesus and Zachee (Zachaeus), which I will hopefully recap at some point this week because it's worth sharing, the young adults headed to the simple annex (not to be confused with America's gargantuan church annexes that could house a small country suffering from hunger and war) for the lunch and meeting. It passed as I'm learning most French meetings pass. Eventually we reach a point...eventually. The meal seems quite sacred here, as I'm disposed to believe it is already, and the intent of our gathering--to discuss what it is that the young adults at the church are to do together, a regrouping of sorts--wound its way to the surface towards dessert time. We will be gathering one Sunday a month for such a meal accompanied by an activity afterwards, whether it be fun, film, discussion, Bible study, etc. There will also be a Thanksgiving party, actually not suggested by me but another American, which we'll plan and prepare at the end of November. I'm still learning how to be a part of something like a French church with all of my American ideas and baggage and training (not that these are bad; but I'm in France now) so I stayed rather silent and would offer comments as solicited but did not try to be my usually not-so-timid self. While some young adults headed out for an afternoon ramble, I headed back to my place to meet Mahina.

Mahina is a student I met at UTC who wants to practice English. This afternoon we had decided to hang out, and as it turns out we share an enjoyment of cooking AND she has an oven (I do not) and suggested we get together and I could teach her how to bake. Um, okay, that's only my passion. We talked in Franglais about gardening, cooking, her studies, a newspaper she recommends, and I met her boyfriend who lives in the apartment above her. She had to return to studies but not before she invited me back for dinner this evening with her and a random 62 year-old retired professor she met on the train. As Mahina said, "She's retired but very energetic, still going." So I'm headed back for that and have promised to return the hostessing favor. I think Mahina has a sincere gift of hospitality and she's also interested in going to the market together on Saturdays. It was just such a great interaction, the day is beautiful here, it's Sunday, and man, everyone should be as blessed as I to get to serve in Compiegne. Struggles, yes. I've made that clear before. But so good.

Editorial note: In last week's Week in Review, mention was made about an upcoming What is L'Arche? article as well as Op-ed. At this time, the What is piece is being drafted and as the writer has time throughout this week, plans to publish it soon. As for the Op-ed, the Editorial Board has decided it will not run as aforementioned. For any inconveniences we apologize.

Of Note

Here's a list of cultural differences you might run across when visiting France, at least in Compiegne although I'm sure the list applies elsewhere. These are just the items I can think of off the top of my head.

• On the way to and from wherever I'm walking, I like to play a little game called "dodge the poop." Every French person owns a dog, it seems, and the idea of pooper scoopers has yet to hit French shores.
• Clean air: it's a foreign concept. I calculate that I've lost at least five years of my life due to a nasty combination of cigarette smoke air and bad car emissions. My favorite is when I open my balcony doors to get a little coolness and freshness into my apartment only to have some neighbor's 7am or 7pm cigarette trail waft into my chambers. Somehow, it's not what I was looking for. I'm told the number of smokers in France is down, however, due to a general European movement to curb the habit. Really? Really? 'Cause if this is down, I'd hate to see up.
  
• Efficiency, not a cultural value. Whether it's architecture (the UTC campus for example or Charles de Gaulle airport), processes, bureaucracy, don't expect it. Ever. Ever.
• Almost every mixed salad I've had here contains mayonnaise. I know Americans use it a lot too, but they put it in weird salad combos--like corn, tomato, pasta, and crab sticks. Tastes good but just odd.
• What would you like for breakfast? Bread, bread, or more bread? If they eat anything at all with their bowl (they drink tea and coffee from a bowl; I do not recommend this without potholders!) of hot beverage, it's a variety of breads--croissants, pain au chocolat, baguette slathered with Nutella. Which brings me to the next subject...
• Bread. It really is true, and for an American oh so darling to observe. The French consume more baguettes than should be legal. At the lunch hour, a two hour daily establishment, everyone is carrying them home. At the school release hour, many moms and kids are picking them up. And around breakfast time, a plethora of folks run down to the boulangerie so their Nutella has company.
• I've been here before so I expected to return to it unchanged; but I am truly fascinated by the collective French inability to hit the toilet bowl. Too much information? Maybe, but it's like potty training never happened here, or a different philosophy--just get in the general vicinity of the bowl and it's a victory--was used.
• Professors could care less about your self-esteem. Although I myself am quite annoyed at the direction of American education in coddling children, adolescents, and older students, correcting students in front of the class is not in my repertoire of experiences. Thus, when my French professor starts handing out corrections to us all, I am taken aback. Good for the French acquisition, but leave your pride at the door.
• Guard your eyes. And I'm dead serious. There is no concept of magazines in black bags or X-rated anything. I've seen plenty of sidewalk advertisements that would render most Americans suffering a heart attack, including me. My simple suggestion--just stick to the newspaper rack.
• They eat fatty meat. Meat here is good, don't get me wrong, but when I eat it, I spend half my meal picking marbled fat out of it. I can't handle it but it seems the French like their cow to slither down more so than I.
  

I'm sure there's plenty more but those are the daily things that pop into my mind. As others surface, I'll keep you posted. I've written them in a negative light, I know, but France is a wonderful place to live, work, and serve, if you are interested. I don't mean to turn you off. But you really should know some of these things if you ever want to live or even visit here. This is my opinion anyway.

Week in Review

Ah, it's Sunday evening after a wonderfully full week. I've decided to write a recap formatted in short form after the New York Times' Week in Review, of which I am an avid fan. I can only aspire to the coverage, wit, prophetic pieces, and general likeability of the section, but here goes...Remember, the section headings are set in the context of France ministry, so not as broad in coverage. :)

Laugh Lines

• What do you get when you put 5 adults and 6 kids in a studio apartment on the 5th floor with a balcony? A gouter (French snack time) hosted for the Hemmerles and McAuleys in my apartment. We had a blast chomping down on snacks, checking out the balcony, keeping the kids from throwing each other over, and romping in the apartment yard which I decided is the perfect playground for kids.

• So I'm holding open a door at L'Arche and Bernard, one of the daily participants, approaches me and moves way too close to my face, lips puckered for a cheek smack. Now in France, they "faire le bise" (cheek kiss as greeting and goodbye) routinely, but this was not hello or au revoir. I leaned away as far as I could then with no other option left, awkwardly turned my cheek to him. I didn't want to be rude and didn't know if this was just what people do there. He planted one on me. I am SO NOT a touch person and explained this to Martine, one of the staff members. Oh, she said, Bernard likes the ladies. You have the complete right to say "only the hand." No problem. Whew, thank God. Next time, hand shake please.
• After a pleasant church visit and lunch with a couple in Compiegne who affiliate with GBU, Heather and I found ourselves on a drive to nearby Pierrefonds to visit a chateau that is oft-toured by Parisians and French but not so many others. Here's the funny part--we had NO idea this was part of the day! We thought we were being driven home but as the road ran on, Heather looked at me and said, are we going to Pierrefonds? Um, yeah, I think we are. This has happened to me a couple other times before in France, maybe because I've missed a detail or because France is a "high context culture." The information age has missed them completely. Needless to say, my heels and hose fared decently on the cobblestone trek and gravel byways. Must admit, I felt a bit of French triumph leisurely strolling as so many French women do. However, I don't recommend it.
  

The News/Behind the News

• The News--Reported earlier, GBU-Compiegne departed for St. Genevieve de Bois for "le week-end de responsable," organized for Northern France and Parisian GBU's to encourage and facilitate vision-casting and planning for the year ahead. In attendance were Nari, Irenee, Heather, Clemente, and myself. Behind the News--This weekend was fantastic, and Dave Hemmerle and I were excited to take silent roles Tuesday night as students stepped up to the responsibility plate, announcing upcoming GBU gatherings, leading the Bible study, and encouraging others to plug in to GBU locally and nationally.

• The News--I was the first to present orally in my French course, and many thanks to those who were praying. After a Type A/perfectionist preparation, I decided to stop and hand it over to God, as I knew no amount of preparation would loosen my tongue unless he was at work. Behind the News--The presentation went well and God granted me the ability to present as well as engage students in discussing and thinking about "conviviality au travail," basically how to cultivate amicable relations with co-workers. A great surprise to me, I forgot that I've been making presentations for a while now, and even in French, it's no skin off my back to talk in front of people (if you know me, you know...). That ability coupled with prayers and grace to speak in French enabled the presentation to go well.

• The News--Greater Europe Mission France gathered for a Day of Prayer and administrative business on Wednesday in Ecouen, France, just south of Compiegne. Virginia Hemmerle spent the evening picking up the last added touches for my apartment, which came furnished and as well houses two chairs donated by the Hemmerles. Behind the News--I always find it most encouraging and challenging to be reminded we are a part of something larger than ourselves. This should always be the Church, but for missionaries, it also needs to be one's mission or supporting agency. Wednesday was a wonderful time to hear of how God is working and what needs are arising among ministry partners here France...and to pray together for them. In the evening, Virginia and I took about a 1/2 hour to circle Ikea before entering. Why is it that Ikea's are always located in some hard to get to from the road location? It was wonderful to share the experience together and I am so grateful for the friendship and wisdom of Virginia. I'm also grateful that she took me to Ikea--not a small trek but we made a memory. You can see the homey affects of the shopping in the photo.

The Nation

Ministry life and busyness has definitely picked up, and two thoughts keep running through my head. This is SUCH a privilege. I'm in France. Working at L'Arche keeps me immersed in French everyday and it also provides a growing edge, as working with mentally handicapped adults is not in my repertoire of experiences. Other staff there are kind to teach me how to "be there" well and I find I just enjoy sitting down at a table and asking someone, so how was your weekend, or, what did you do last night? I'm learning more about simplicity as I read Foster's words, serve at L'Arche, and live in Compiegne.

As I've mentioned, working the GBU is my favorite aspect of ministry. This week I met with three women and will be getting together with a couple this week. For the most part, we are meeting one-on-one bi-weekly for encouragement and conversation. One gal in particular asks all sorts of wonderful questions about Jesus and Christianity and I am privileged to get to answer them, as best I can. She keeps me on my toes and for that I am grateful. In general, there have not been women disciple-makers in these women's lives, and as I've talked with them about meeting, they eagerly agree and see the need to be encouraged. This past Friday I hosted our first "Femmes de GBU" evening, beginning with soup and sandwiches for the early birds and ending with yummy dessert made by one of our own, Heather, and divine French ice cream. We had no agenda other than just being women together, and the time was wonderful, never lacking of conversation, laughter, and energy. We all look forward to the next gathering. Nari asked as we parted ways if we could pray together, and I am blessed by the spiritual sensitivity cultivated by being sisters together. Our next gathering will be opened up for friends and other young women we know, specifically those not a part of GBU or the Church. It will be a "Fete de Femmes" and you can begin praying that the time spent piques others' curiosity at the joy and love in our midst.

As for JAO, Les Jeunes Adultes D'Oise, sadly I missed the first Bible study and meal at the Hemmerles because of the GBU retreat. I will however be present at the next, and I'm seeing this as a blessing, so that folks do not associate me with leadership but rather with being a member in their midst--which is what I am. The Hemmerles are praying for French transitional leadership and you as well can join the prayer team for this. I was excited though that this morning I visited a church in a neighboring town and did get to speak with a couple of the gals in JAO. They are kind young women and I'm praying to get to connect with them more in the coming months.

The World

Often you have to step back and assess in ministry--assess a context, a conversation, what one is doing, etc. This week I have been assessing, and grieving, the lack of spiritual models and disciple-makers in the French church. Granted, I'm new here and my experience is limited to a particular slice of French religious life, but none of the women of GBU have been mentored, there are no discipleship programs of which I am aware, and when I shared my grief over the lack of Paul/Timothy relationships at the GEM Day of Prayer, everyone knowingly nodded that this is the case where they serve.

I've been reading I and II Timothy along with keeping up with sermons from back home and I've decided this. The Church in America and in Europe will completely die if discipleship is not made priority. I cannot speak to other parts of the globe, because I have not been to them (a point I hope to change within my lifetime); but one cannot have a Church if one is not invested in raising up disciples and spiritual leaders. Now, as long as God sits on the throne above, there will be a Church, but if it is to thrive, if it is to be filled with people who long for Jesus, who seek to establish holiness and righteousness in their ways and in their cultures, there must be disciple-makers. I also see that while every person who follows Jesus is called into a lifetime of discipleship, I am also coming to see that God raises up teachers specifically to encourage the next generation of spiritual leaders. I see two levels of discipleship existing--for the lay Christian and for Church leaders, both equally necessary and important to the life and existence of the Church. The Church without discipleship resembles placing students in a classroom without a teacher. Formulas are written on the board. Books are handed out. But without a teacher to explain what the formulas mean and accomplish, without a teacher who understands metaphors, historical references, and cultural contexts to explain a book, they are meaningless. Thus, so is the life of the Church without discipleship. With the Bible, theology and doctrine, spiritual disciplines, and mission, you can have a people gathered, but there must be those who teach what do with what the Church is given. I am NOT trying to limit what God can do alone, but since Moses and Joshua, at the heart of God's story has been the existence of discipleship. It just gets more amplified after Jesus!

I've wondered, how did it get this way? How have we gotten so far away from the discipleship heart of Jesus? There is hope, there has to be. Against odds, I believe this. But we must be fervent in our efforts to continue that work which was started in us. It is not to stay only in us and for us--what is Gospel for if it remains only personal and private? Nothing about how Jesus made disciples was private--it was about inviting others into his ministry and teaching them how to continue it after his ascension. May we hear the call and live faithful, making disciples of all nations, even the one's in our homeland.

And it's a Wrap (Jennifer's addition)
Stay tuned for an op-ed coming soon along with what is L'Arche. But let me end on this note--I can't get over being here and being used. As a friend reminded me, you're doing what you love. Which is so true! There are trying moments, but the joys of seeing God real and working, well, they are boundless. This weekend, I sought Sabbath, leaving my little to do lists in a shuffled pile (still trying to operate off of them) and took care of daily life--laundry, bill-paying, grocery shopping, journal writing, breathing. And in the simplicity of those moments, God revealed to me a huge truth of himself and myself, that he is at work in the small moments, in the daily, in our simply living for him as we are equipped. I think I go looking for the grand moments of life, trying to escape the daily chores and get through them as fast as possible so the "real" stuff can get done. But you know what, laundry is as real as sharing Jesus with a student at UTC. Paying bills is as real as helping someone at L'Arche into and out of the swimming pool. I struggle seeing my life as "missionary Jennifer" and "personal Jennifer"...and maybe this is too much information. But, we all live in the small and grand and we can't escape either. By living only for the grand, I rob the small of its importance. Wendell Berry, Henri Nouwen, and Richard Foster all write in various ways about simplicity. And here in Compiegne, I'm learning the key to ministry is to embrace not the complexities but the simplicities. I thrive in chaos and the complex, but God challenges me daily to step into the simple goodness of being faithful. Being faithful with a moment, with a breath I breathe in, that no minute is less valuable than another because they are each his gifts. How dare I try to escape what is given. In Chicago I met someone at a party who said, "Oh, I know who you are, so-and-so's friend, you live large." Yeah, it's true. I was raised to do so, to see possibilities, to see God's Kingdom, to go for it. But, I'm also trying to live small, to take captive today, to minister and live well with this moment. Jesus prayed, "Give us this day our daily bread..." Daily, that's what we are told to pray for. So whether it's bread or French words for lunch with a student or refreshment after a long week or wisdom in being a spiritual encourager or simply patience to wait for a laundry load, daily. That is the prayer.

Today

Somehow life went from "ah, I have loads of time" to "how am I going to get done everything this week that rises before me?!" The list of people I need to contact grows almost daily it seems (which thoroughly excites), the time I need to be in Scriptures for study and preparation grows as people ask more questions and Bible studies begin (about which I am also excited), and personal life, i.e., filing insurance claims for stolen bikes and paying rent, also needs to be taken care of. Tonight I've just walked in from GEM France's Day of Prayer and an IKEA run afterward with Virginia Hemmerle. Praise be to God for prayer and curtains!!! The basics really...

I have an oral presentation tomorrow in French class for which I am still preparing and a bit nervous, since I'm the first to present, but I am learning daily "his grace is made sufficient in our weakness." If ministry does nothing else, it reveals weaknesses. But it also reveals a bigger God--mind-blowing really.

Today I started off my day listening to this wonderful song by Donnie McClurkin which says, "Great is your mercy towards me, your loving kindness towards me, your tender mercies I see day after day. Forever faithful towards me, you're always providing for me, great is your mercy towards me, great is your grace." You really have to hear the song to feel it, to get it, for it to seep into your bones and course down through your blood; it's just one of those arrangements vocally and musically that overwhelms you with the mightiness of God's nearness always.

So days get busier, intentionality about rest becomes necessary, life grows beautiful, abilities get stretched...and what a gift it is to get to live this life with our great God.

As for upcoming posts, depends on how the Spirit moves--it will either be What is L'Arche? or Week in Review...or maybe both. Get excited!!!

Prayer requests

• GBU starts our Bible study on Luke tomorrow (10/2)! Pray that the time together will encourage Christians and show love to those seeking. Also pray for the vision being cast by students who attended the retreat.

• French oral presentation--I'm the first to go in my French class Thursday. Pray for solid preparation and creative and scholarly engagement with the material and class. My prayer in this course is to witness through my discipline and commitment to learning the French language.

• Personal Bible study--I'm relishing being in Scripture quite a bit in French and English. Cover my time in study and prayer. May I be equipped by the Spirit for the moments brought my way to share.
  

Transportation

Here's a prayer request for you--after a lovely morning at L'Arche and afternoon of spiritual recharge in Paris with Zola (co-worker from Chicago Hope Academy), I returned to Compiegne to pack my bags and head out before the sun rises for the GBU retreat. In between the two discovered my lovely new bike and only means of transportation besides my feet was lovingly removed from its locked position by someone who I gather needs it more than I. So, first my car, now my bike. I'm just staying away from all vehicles in general...but you can pray that insurance covers it.

Please also pray for our GBU retreat. We're five people total, which is quite exciting given our university size of 2,000. Pray that we use the time wisely casting vision, praying, and encouraging one another. I'm SO excited to go and count this as such a privilege.

When Sinning Boldly...

I just ran in from my French class, our first gathering with our correct professor. Last week we had a fill in. Must slurp some soup before I head back out to Esperanto, an international party that happens every week on campus where I am hoping to meet students (some who want to practice English, a great gift!) and build connections outside of GBU. Before I go, however, had to tell you my readers that I'm pretty sure I committed a cultural faux pas today in class. Thankfully we're a lot of internationals and the professor, although I caught her raising her eyebrows without my noticing, didn't seem to change her demeanor or interactions with me.

My cultural sin? I talked about God in a very personal way...and in the midst had a breakthrough but I'll get to that in a second. Madame LeFrancois handed us a list of "Proust Questions" and told us to get to know our neighbor. The easiest questions asked, what's your favorite color? or what is your favorite word? All the rest asked things like, what do you want to be? what gives you happiness? what is the limit of suffering for you (a poor English translation for the question)? what governs how you live (again, another poor English translation)?, how is your spirit today?, etc., etc. In my book, these are not easy questions.

Now, I live by a rather simple motto most times--Live it first, say it second. Thus I surprised myself when I actually rather boldly responded that the worst suffering for me would include having all my relationships cut off (not that unlike being in France...) with family, friends, and God; this I could not bear. What governs how I live? Well, I have a relationship with God and I don't live by a code but according to that relationship. How is my spirit? Well, quite at peace and am having immense joy and contentment. My conversation partner, from Brazil, said in responding to the question, what is your worst characteristic/fault? that she is indecisive. "So many faiths, I don't know." We tended to remain on the surface of topics, which was fine with me because I, again, am kinda "no actions to equal words, no work for me" philosophy. Plus, we had a whopping 10 minutes. That said, however, I was interested to hear other students' responses to these questions. Most wanted a family, a job, stability, thought health and wealth and relationships important; and I thought, how are we in the Church any different? Am I pressed to desire more than everything that was shared? I think I should be, that we should be, that the Church's witness to the desires of our hearts should be different--that God doesn't say family, stability, and providing for your next meal are bad. I for one have lived my life wanting those things. But how are they ordered? When we talk about what we value and are pursuing, when I have to express to a classroom of non-native French speakers and a watching professor what's our and my core, what or who is it?

I struggle and if you're reading between the lines, or parentheses, you'll get that some days here in Compiegne are just not easy. Every day grows easier and more and more I am equipped by the Spirit of God to serve according to his will. But there are some dark nights of the soul when God presses in and demands me respond, "Do you want me first?!" Grrr...we have been through this, My Lord. You know the answer. Yet again, "What are you desiring?" Jesus, I told you already. "Are you satisfied?" Alright, fine, we have some work to do. I understand Peter's frustration with the "Do you love me?" series of questions Jesus asked. But I can personally attest to the fact that God has to ask us the same questions over and over, nuance them a bit, and then, voila, he shows us, My child, you still have some work to do with my help. Truth is, we'll never be able on our own strength to be fully whatever God asks us to be or do, because FULLY is not in the human capacity for now. But that doesn't mean we're not asked to surrender towards fullness. I think the question that could have summed up all the others today would be "What animates you?" Animer--it's a French verb meaning in a sense "coordinating," "facilitating," "giving life to," and a plethora of other nuances. It's the verb right now that comes to mind. What desires are animating how we live? Are they for God and after his heart, will, and people? It is a question I am asked daily and I pray for grace to be able to not only speak it but to live it.

As for the breakthrough, well, I may share that later or it may just go in my journal. I think what I was supposed to write for now is done.